


Counting Stars (Are You Sure This Is Love?)

by GoldenEmolga



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/M, M/M, Mild Language, Suggestive Themes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-27
Updated: 2016-09-12
Packaged: 2018-02-06 10:12:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 47,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1854235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoldenEmolga/pseuds/GoldenEmolga
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a story about a very love-struck Eren slowly discovering how messed up Armin's life has become without him.  Is it too late for them?  =(  </p>
<p>This fic will go from sickeningly sweet to painfully screwed up and back again with no warning.  =)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Last Night in Stohess

**Author's Note:**

> Reaching towards his bedside table, Eren once again grabbed the blue box that contained the engagement ring that he’d been working so hard for. He flipped over and placed it in the empty space beside him on the bed. Closing his eyes, Eren optimistically hoped that this would be one of the last nights he’d have to sleep alone ever again. He prayed that in a few weeks, after dropping to one knee and hearing an enthusiastic “yes” accompanied with tears of joy, he’d open his eyes at night to find that he wasn’t alone anymore. Instead, his golden-haired angel would be by his side, and Eren would finally be able to say that his life was perfect and complete. =)

               Staring at his computer screen, waiting for the video chat to pop up, Eren absent-mindedly twisted the black band on his left ring finger.  Most would call this a nervous habit, but Eren found the action calming, grounding him, reminding him of what was important and what he’d been working for all these years:  the chance to be with the person wearing the matching ring.  Noticing that the call should have started over thirty minutes ago, Eren decided he should finish packing while he waited.

               Reluctantly, he rose from his bed and started throwing the last of his clothes from his closet into a moving box at his side.  As he did this, he chose one outfit to wear tomorrow:  a black button-up shirt, dark jeans, and his favorite red tie.  After all, tomorrow would be one of the best days of Eren’s entire life; he’d finally be reunited with everyone he’d been missing since he left Shiganshina almost four years ago. 

               As he was putting the last of the knick-knacks from his bedside table into the moving box, Eren heard his phone buzz on his bed.  Turning on the screen, he saw he had a new message from Mikasa Ackermann, one of the two people he was supposed to be chatting with now. 

 

**Mikasa:** I don’t think Armin will be joining us tonight.  You still wanna chat?  Sounded like you had an announcement or something.

 

               Eren frowned upon reading the message.  It was the last thing he wanted to hear.  Sitting down on his bed, he quickly typed up a response.

 

**Eren:**   It won’t take long.  I haven’t seen him for almost a week now.  Do you know what’s up?  =(

 

               Eren was getting a little worried.  Maybe school, work, and college applications were just getting to be too much for his childhood friend right now, but Eren really wanted to see him that night.  He needed to know that he’d made the right decision, one that he hadn’t told anyone yet, except the administrators at his old school, new school, and new apartment complex.  He hadn’t even told his parents, and he’d chosen to make the move while they were away on a weekend trip.  Surely they’d be angry that their only son had essentially chosen to run away from home, but he was eighteen years old.  He could make his own decision now.  Officially.  Eren had always been one to make his intentions clear to everyone around him, but now there was nothing holding him back from the thing he’d been dreaming of doing for the last three years, eleven months, and seven days.  He’d be returning to his real home in Shiganshina, to all his friends that were more like family than his own biological parents, and most importantly, to the person that his entire world revolved around. 

               Eren contemplated just leaving his friends alone that night.  After all, he’d see them tomorrow in person for the first time since he’d left, but something was telling him that he should see them now.  Though he felt selfish asking Armin to get online when he clearly didn’t want to just for the opportunity to see him smile, Eren couldn’t help it this time.  Before Mikasa could reply, he had typed up a message to Armin Arlelt.

 

**Eren:** Hey, Armin.  I’m really sorry to bother you, but I really need to see you right now…  Could you possibly get on, just for a few minutes?  =)

 

               After pressing Send, Eren put his phone aside and picked up the last thing remaining on his bedside table.  He stared at the velvety blue box’s exterior before slowly opening it to look at the beautiful engagement ring inside.  For the millionth time, Eren questioned whether it was worthy of the person it was meant for, but he decided, as always, that this was the best he could manage.  It was very simple yet elegant, nothing but a slim, silver band with a single diamond on it.  It wasn’t a massive diamond, but it also wasn’t the smallest option either.  Eren hoped the fact that the lone diamond was shaped like a heart was sufficient to make it special enough for his lover, and he prayed that it would be good enough to warrant a “yes” in a few weeks.

               Eren was pulled out of his worrying when he heard his laptop notifying him that he had an incoming video call.  Though he had a preference of who was calling, Eren was willing to talk to anyone right now in order to stop overthinking his decisions.  He’d been planning to move back to Shiganshina ever since the day he left, and he’d been working hard to save up enough money to do so.  The first thing Eren had done when he moved to Stohess with his family just before the start of eighth grade was find a job.  Unlike most kids his age, Eren would go to school, rush home to change, and then head to the local grocery store where he worked as a bag boy.  It was the only job he could get as a fourteen-year-old.  Meanwhile, many of the kids at his school had tried to befriend him, but Eren was simply too determined to return to where he truly belonged to pay any attention to their attempts at friendship.  For the past four years, all Eren did was study, work, and, most importantly, keep in touch with his old friends. 

               At first, he’d been able to keep up with all of them:  Marco, Jean, Conny, Sasha, Ymir, Krista, Reiner, Bertholdt, Annie, Daz, Mina, Thomas, Samuel, Franz, Hannah, everyone, but after a while, he mainly found himself talking to just Mikasa and Armin, which was fine with him.  He planned on rekindling lost relationships soon enough.  Maybe he’d even get the hardest one out of the way first:  Jean.  Or maybe he’d just pretend they’d never accidentally bonded all those years ago.  Eren wasn’t sure exactly how his sudden return would be taken by his former classmates, but he was sure they’d eventually welcome him back with open arms.  For a moment, he considered that he was thinking maybe a little too optimistically about this whole thing, but nothing was going to change his mind now.  He didn’t care if he had his parents’ or anyone else’s blessings at this point.  He didn’t need it.  He was going to be gaining something worth much, much more.  Though there were still a lot of unknowns about his move, he’d determined one thing.  Eren had officially decided that he’d keep the move a surprise for his friends.  This decision was made even easier when he realized he might only have a few minutes to chat this evening.  Right now, he just wanted happy thoughts to suppress his growing anxiety.

               Eren clicked the Accept button before he even saw who was calling.  To his slight disappointment, it was Mikasa.  Despite this, Eren grinned widely and plopped down on his bed, adjusting his laptop so she could see him properly.  She was already dressed for bed, like Eren, but she looked wide awake, alert, almost alarmingly so.

               “Hey, Mikasa.  Umm…  Is everything okay?  You seem on edge,” Eren commented.

               “I’m fine.  Thank you for asking,” she replied, trying to hide her problems, as always.

               “I know you better than that.  What’s up?” Eren countered.

               Mikasa sighed and shook her head slightly before answering, “I always feel vulnerable when I’m getting one of these repairs.”

               Though her words might have been cryptic to anyone else, Eren knew exactly what she was referring to.  He glanced down, towards her neck, and noticed the thin, red choker that he and Armin had weaved for her in elementary school, the one that she wore 24/7, was missing.  It made Eren smile to think that despite the fact that it was very faded and had been visibly repaired over and over, she still chose to wear it all the time.  Her neck did look bare without it.

               “Arm fixing it for you again?” Eren asked, though he already knew the answer.  Armin was the only person that she would allow to make such a repair to something she considered so precious.

               Eren watched as Mikasa nodded solemnly.

               “See?  You should make him get on so that he can show you that your necklace is okay,” Eren commented, realizing that he still sounded painfully selfish, despite trying to hide his desperation to see his other friend.

              His attempt at convincing her to bother Armin didn’t work, he realized, as she shot him a glare.

               “Fine.  Fine.  Sorry.  Why do you even still wear that old thing?” he questioned instead.

               Just as she was about to answer, Eren’s screen illuminated with another message that he was getting another incoming call.  He scrambled to answer it and add his other friend to the conversation.

               “Armin!” Eren squealed, a little too enthusiastically.  “I haven’t seen you for a whole week!”

               “Exactly.  It’s only been a week, Eren,” he heard Armin answer quietly.

               “Umm…  Actually…  I still can’t see you, uh, now…  Can you turn on the lights or something?” Eren asked as politely as he could manage.

               It was killing Eren that he could hardly see anything of his best friend due to the fact that the lights were out in his room.  Even his computer screen’s brightness was on the lowest setting, meaning its light wasn’t even enough to illuminate his face.  All Eren could see were his big, blue eyes.

               “Sorry.  I’m just really tired.  Keeping it dark makes it easier for me to fall asleep,” Armin answered calmly.

               Eren noticed Mikasa bow her head slightly, trying to hide a slightly worried expression.  Something was up.

               “Please, Armin?  Besides, Mikasa is freaking out about her necklace.  Show her that you fixed it!” Eren suggested excitedly.

               Mikasa looked up and shook her head, but Eren didn’t care.  He was looking right at Armin with a desperate look, one he could tell his friend didn’t miss.  He closed his eyes for a moment before getting up and moving away from his computer.

               “Fine.  But you have to promise me you won’t freak out, okay?  I, uh, got hurt at work today.  That’s why I didn’t want to get on,” Armin said, and Eren thought he sounded even farther away since he wasn’t near his microphone.

               Eren waited patiently, well, he tried, for Armin to return, even after the lights flicked on in his room.  However, when his friend returned to his desk, Eren couldn’t contain his emotions.

               “Armin!  What happened?!?” Eren nearly screamed, seeing the dark bruise around the boy’s right eye.

               “I told you…  It happened at work…” he responded meekly, reaching up in an attempt to hide the mark.

               “Did someone hurt you?!?  I swear to God, I’ll storm right over there—”

               “Eren, that’s enough,” Mikasa chided, giving him a pointed glare.

               “No one hurt me,” Armin whispered, looking at his lap.

               Eren noticed Mikasa’s eyes flick to Armin again.  Clearly what he said wasn’t the truth, and she knew it.

               “Well something happened in order to—”

               Eren’s tirade was cut off by Armin’s sweet laughter.  It sounded a little forced, but it was still a sweet sound to hear.  Eren looked back towards Armin’s face to see him smiling sweetly, his head cocked slightly to the side, as he prepared to speak.  Eren wondered where this habit of his had come from.  He hadn’t done it before Eren left, but he did it often now during these video chats, especially after laughing like that.  It always made him look so sweet and innocent.  Maybe that was Armin’s reason for doing it.

               “Don’t be silly, Eren.  One of my coworkers just wasn’t watching what she was doing and ran a tray full of drinks right into my head.  You should have seen the mess!  I was covered in all these fruity-smelling drinks!  My hair even turned pink from the red wine that she spilt on me!” he laughed, punctuating the story with a grin.

               Eren hesitated a moment before letting out a small giggle, seeing that Armin was okay with being laughed at.  It was even what he wanted right then.

               “You with pink hair?  Now that I’ve gotta see,” Eren replied with a grin.  “I bet you looked like cotton candy or something.”

               “Yeah.  Too bad I smelled like a rotting wine cellar.  That stuff smells good in small amounts, but being dowsed in it was a little absurd,” he added with a slight shrug.

               Eren grinned as he tried to picture the scene, but he faltered when he saw Mikasa wasn’t as amused by the story as he had been.  Maybe it was because Armin had been hurt, after all, a fact that neither of them should overlook despite his attempts to push said fact aside.

               “Really, though…  I’m sorry you got hurt,” Eren said solemnly.  “I hope you’re _really_ okay…”

               Armin seemed to catch the silent “And that you aren’t just faking it.” that went along with Eren’s words.  He tilted his head to the opposite side and blinked a few times, again making Eren forget his troubles.

               “Of course, Eren.  I’m great,” he replied.  “So, what were you and Mikasa chatting about?  Was it your big announcement?”

               “Not quite.  Mikasa was just about to explain why she still wore that silly old necklace that we made for her despite the fact that it clearly doesn’t want to stay on her neck anymore,” Eren replied, cheering up slightly.

               Mikasa blushed slightly as she quietly admitted, “Because it reminds me that the two people I love most of all are still with me, even if they aren’t near me physically.”

               Eren smiled at that, realizing that she felt the same way about that necklace as he felt about the ring on his finger.  His eyes flicked to Armin, expecting to see him smiling and blushing, but he looked troubled, having dropped his gaze again to his lap.  Mikasa noticed too, and her slight smile disappeared.

               “Armin, are you…” Eren began but trailed off when Armin rose from his chair and walked out of his camera’s view. 

               Eren waited for an explanation, but he didn’t receive one.  He began to worry when Armin didn’t return after a whole minute.

               “Armin?!?  We didn’t mean—”

               “Didn’t mean what?” the boy in question answered, returning to his chair as if it was just normal to get up in the middle of a sweet conversation and walk away.

               “I, uh, I don’t know…  Nevermind…” Eren admitted.

               Armin just laughed in the same way he did before and held up Mikasa’s tattered choker.

               “I figured I should fix this.  Mikasa was looking rather ill without it,” he explained with a grin.

               Eren watched as Armin began to weave another repair into the necklace, using the supply of red thread that he kept on his desk for just this occasion.  He noted that Mikasa did look very nervous while watching Armin fix it, and she tried making slight conversation with the two boys in an attempt to distract herself from the loss around her neck.  The poor girl was normally very composed and rarely showed her emotions, even to the two most important people in her life.  Maybe this was the reason for all of Mikasa’s out-of-character reactions that night.  Thankfully, it wasn’t long before Armin held the necklace in front of his camera with a grin and announced that he was finished.  To his and Eren’s surprise, Mikasa didn’t respond with a quiet “Thank you” or a sigh of relief.  Instead, she jumped up from her desk chair and dashed away from her computer at top speed, not even bothering to turn off her laptop.  Armin’s face paled as he looked at the twisting thread in front of him, examining his fix.

               “Did I…  Do you think I messed it up…?” he asked quietly, turning the red, braided string over and over in his pale hands.  “I’ve fixed it before…  She…  She never had a problem with it before…”

               “I don’t think you did anything wrong, Arm.  You know her.  She has a weird way of showing her emotions sometimes.  Or, rather, not showing them, you know?” Eren countered, hoping to calm him down and bring the smile back to his face.

               “She was so upset when I couldn’t repair it in person for her earlier.  I felt bad, but I had to go to work right after school today.  She must still be mad at me,” Armin added, dropping his head and effectively covering his eyes with his blonde bangs.

               “Now I might not know exactly what’s going through her head right now, but I do know one thing.  No matter what you do, Armin, Mikasa will never be mad at you.  Same goes for me.  Understand?” Eren offered with a smile.

               Eren had expected his words to calm the poor kid, but they seemed to have the opposite effect.  Armin looked up at Eren, a look of what can only be described as sheer terror on his face.  Eren felt his heart break as he tried to figure out what he’d said to make his best friend look so scared.  He’d only seen the other boy look this frightened a few times in his entire life, but it was always pretty obvious why he was worried.  However, just as he was about to open his mouth to spew apologies and try to discover what he did wrong, Eren saw a figure appear behind Armin.

               “Mikasa?!?” he yelled, causing Armin to whip around so fast that he nearly fell out of his chair, only saved from crashing to the ground by Mikasa catching him.

               “Please don’t hurt me!” Armin squeaked, bowing his head and curling up into a ball in his desk chair, quickly extending the hand that held the repaired choker towards Mikasa.

               Eren grinned as he watched her silently take it, examine it with a small smile, and fasten it around her neck.  When Armin didn’t look up at her or uncurl from his fetal position, Mikasa grabbed his outstretched hand and squeezed it reassuringly.  Hesitantly, Armin looked up towards the girl and was rewarded with a kiss on the forehead and a barely-audible “Thank you, Armin.”  When he still didn’t respond, Mikasa knelt in front of him and gently guided his limbs to uncurl.

               “And Eren’s right,” she added, cupping his slightly-swollen right cheek and guiding him to look up.  “I could never be mad at you.  About this.  About anything.”

               Eren watched his two best friends and desperately wished he was there to hold them both in person.  However, Eren became very confused and worried when he saw Armin start to shudder in Mikasa’s arms and shed tears as he leaned forward to hide his face on her shoulder.  For the first time in a long time, Eren felt like he had really, really missed something, but he wasn’t sure how to ask without upsetting Armin more.  He decided the best thing to do was steer the conversation in a different direction.

               “How many times have you had to repair that ratty old thing now, Arm?  Maybe me and you should just make Mikasa a new one, hmm?” he asked with a smile.

               Armin seemed to notice Eren’s real concerns and immediately straightened himself up, wiping away his tears and plastering a fake grin onto his face.  Eren was really starting to hate that fake smile, and he was getting frustrated that he’d been seeing it more and more lately.

               “That was the 23rd major repair that I’ve done on it,” he noted with a slight shake of his head.  He blinked a few times before adding in a much quieter voice, “I wish you and I could make her a new one.  I…  We miss you, Eren…”

               Eren watched as Mikasa gave Armin another hug before heading to his right, presumably heading back to her own house down the street.  He watched the other boy for a few moments, wondering if he should ruin the surprise, but he’d contained himself for months.  He knew Armin could wait one more day.

               “I miss you too, Sweetie,” Eren answered instead, smiling sincerely at the boy on his computer screen.

               Armin blushed and glanced around nervously. 

               “Not- Not in front of Mikasa, remember?” he whispered timidly, though Eren was sure Mikasa was long gone.

               Armin had always told Eren not to get all lovey-dovey in front of her, but Eren still couldn’t figure out why.  She’d been there the day that he had confessed his love to Armin and hadn’t seemed bothered, but maybe he was just trying to be considerate.  Maybe she didn’t like PDA or something.  Either way, Eren didn’t want to or care to question Armin’s reasons.  As with every matter, he would trust his judgment. 

               “I’m sorry your day at work didn’t go well, and I’m sorry for making you get on so late.  I just felt like I needed to see you tonight,” Eren stated, probably looking into Armin’s big, blue eyes a bit too lovingly.  Noticing that Mikasa had returned to her own room, he added, in an attempt to calm Armin, “I’ve missed seeing both of you.  These chats can never replace being with you in person, but they sure do help.”

               Mikasa nodded, as did Armin, though he did it while yawning.

               “Perhaps we should turn in for the night,” Mikasa suggested, glancing from Eren to Armin and back again on her screen.

               “Seems like it’s past _someone_ ’s bedtime,” Eren grinned.  “Just one last thing.  I’ve got some really exciting news.  You’ll find out what it is tomorrow.”

               “Really?  I can’t wait to hear what it is.  Goodnight, you two,” Armin responded, and Eren was excited to see that his smile looked somewhat less forced now.  The poor boy did look awfully tired though.

               “I look forward to it.  Goodnight, boys,” Mikasa answered.

               “Yeah.  Me too.  Goodnight, Mikasa.  Sweet dreams, Armin,” Eren said and noted Mikasa’s cocked eyebrow a bit too smugly.

               Armin blushed again as the call ended, and Eren’s screen returned to the default menu.  He shut his laptop, turned off the lights, and crawled into bed.  As he laid there and realized that this would be the last night he spent in Stohess, he couldn’t help but realize what else that meant.

               Reaching towards his bedside table, Eren once again grabbed the blue box that contained the engagement ring that he’d been working so hard for.  He flipped over and placed it in the empty space beside him on the bed.  Closing his eyes, Eren optimistically hoped that this would be one of the last nights he’d have to sleep alone ever again.  He prayed that in a few weeks, after dropping to one knee and hearing an enthusiastic “yes” accompanied with tears of joy, he’d open his eyes at night to find that he wasn’t alone anymore.  Instead, his golden-haired angel would be by his side, and Eren would finally be able to say that his life was perfect and complete.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be prepared for Eren to be very confused and crushed in the next chapter. =)
> 
> Also... So I was going back through my other fic and changing all the name spellings to be consistent with Funimation. For example, "Conny" and "Kirschtein." And then I looked at the main characters and realized I got Armin's freaking last name wrong. It's apparently Arlelt. Who knew? =P


	2. The First Day Back in Shiganshina (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren finally returns to Shiganshina after being gone for nearly four years, but his homecoming comes with some unexpected and rather horrifying revelations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to apologize for the ridiculous wait on this. I have a lot of the story planned. I've just been super busy with multiple jobs. Anyhow, I hope that you all will stick with me, especially if I promise to stay more on top of this story. As a tiny sorry present, this chapter is longer... =)
> 
> Also, please feel free to leave comments for me, but try not to make me cry too much. Also, kudos are greatly appreciated if you're enjoying the story and would like to hear more. Thank you! =)

               Eren marched up to the front steps of his new school in Shiganshina with so much determination and purpose that it might have scared anyone who didn’t know him well enough. Those who knew him would understand that fire in his eyes, what caused his pace to be a bit too intense for a typical school day. As he approached the front steps that led to the main door into Shiganshina High, Eren passed a classroom full of bored-looking students. Among them was Mikasa, trying to make it through the end of a dull literature lecture, it seemed. Her hawk-like eyes noticed him immediately as he raised a hand to wave at her through the window. Eren watched with amusement as she rose from her seat and silently excused herself from the room without a single word of explanation to her teacher.  


               Flinging the doors open wide, Eren was greeted with the sight of the hallways he used to roam before he moved across the country. Memory after memory, some good and some bad, came flooding back as Mikasa joined Eren on his trek down the hallway. He flashed her a toothy smile, receiving a quiet nod, one that seemed to silently say, “Welcome back.”  


               As he was passing another classroom farther down the hall, Eren heard Reiner Braun speaking excitedly about some sort of science experiment. As he stopped to look through the window of the corresponding room, Eren could see that his immense friend was indeed talking over, rather than talking to, his even taller friend, Bertholdt Hoover, who seemed to be attempting to convince Reiner not to do whatever he was about to do. Annie Leonhart sat at their sides, as usual, looking bored and disinterested, also as usual. Eren tapped on the window and waved to get their attention. As he turned away from their wide eyes of apparent shock, Eren heard an explosion followed by the sounds of three pairs of running footsteps attempting to catch up to him.  


               With Reiner, Bertholdt, and Annie now in tow, Eren turned the corner at the end of the hallway. He was about to take another turn when Mikasa grabbed his sleeve, silently telling him to stop for a minute. As the group came to a halt and watched her with intense curiosity, she approached the nearby women’s restroom. Mikasa leaned against the door for a moment before knocking in a specific pattern that apparently meant something to everyone besides Eren because Reiner and Annie started snickering behind him. Mikasa rejoined the party, and after a few seconds of silence, just as Eren was about to ask if they could continue, Christa Lenz and Ymir came stumbling out of the bathroom. The blonde’s face was stained with a pink blush as she tried to compose herself, a task that wasn’t made any easier by Ymir’s arm being slung around her shoulders as they followed the others down the hallway and around another corner.  


               It wasn’t hard to find Sasha Braus in the alcove just down the hall, shoving dollar after dollar into a helpless vending machine. Conny Springer was sitting on a small table behind her, watching her with amusement and laughing quietly to himself as he attempted to flatten out another dollar for Sasha on the table’s edge. Reiner coughed rather conspicuously, successfully getting their attention away from the emptying vending machine. Conny pocketed the dollar, and Sasha continued to chow down on her bag of chips as they followed the growing crowd.  


               With his almost-full party in tow, Eren finally spotted the doorway he was looking for. He took a deep breath as he entered the school’s library, an area that he was a bit too familiar with. Just as he was preparing to make his way to the small staircase at the back of the rather extensive room, Eren noticed Jean Kirschtein attempting to twirl a football on his finger as Marco Bodt tried to redirect his attention back to the book in front of them. Ymir snapped her fingers impatiently, earning a glance from the two boys. Jean set his football aside as Marco closed the textbook with a sigh.  


               As the two joined the group, Eren closed his eyes and took a moment to gather his thoughts. This was the moment he’d been waiting for since the day he left, the chance to come home and be with those he cared about. As he opened his eyes to look at the friends that were surrounding him, it was clear that everyone knew what was going through Eren’s mind and just who he was dying to see. All of his friends were watching him anxiously, clearly excited for him. Mikasa stepped forward and cast her eyes up towards the second floor of the library, wanting Eren to follow her gaze, but he didn’t need to be told where to go. He already knew.  


               With his comrades behind him, Eren climbed the steps to the smaller second floor of the library, an area meant for quiet reading and studying. Swallowing hard and trying to push away his growing nerves, Eren made his way around one final corner and entered the little alcove of bean bag chairs where he’d spent way too many afternoons staring at and daydreaming about the beautiful, blond boy sitting across from himself in his favorite blue bean bag chair. In fact, Eren was fairly certain that very same chair was the one that held said boy today, all these years later.  


               Eren couldn’t contain his joy at the sight of his beloved, and he was sure he quickened his pace forward, though everything seemed to be happening in slow motion. His quickened pace, and probably the footfalls of his large posse, were enough to alert Eren’s boyfriend who had been browsing one of his favorite children’s picture books. His big, blue eyes glanced up innocently before locking onto Eren’s own and beginning to fill with tears. The boy set aside his book without a thought of placing the bookmark that sat right by his feet into its place. Eren felt like he could see his love’s mind spinning, trying to figure out how and why Eren was here, if any of this was even real. As if solidifying his skepticism, the boy opened his mouth and seemed to breathe out Eren’s name, questioning his presence, something his eyes just weren’t willing to accept yet. As a response, Eren surged forward and took the boy in his arms, wrapping one arm tightly around his waist and the other bracing the back of his head.  


               “Yes, Armin, it’s really me. I’m back,” Eren assured as he ran his fingers through the long, golden hair under his fingertips.  


               “Eren… I…” Armin stammered in response, obviously too overwhelmed to speak.  


               Eren felt the poor boy begin to shake slightly in his tight grip, and he knew Armin had started to cry, hopefully tears of joy. Eren just held him tighter as he began to whisper in his ear.  


               “I’m sorry it took me so long. But I’m here now, just like I promised. I love you so much, Armin, and I don’t ever want to be away from you again,” he murmured, nuzzling the top of Armin’s head.  


               By now, Armin had wrapped his arms around Eren and was gripping his shirt tightly, as if to ensure that he couldn’t slip away ever again. As he clung to Eren and tried desperately to rein back in the tears, Armin somewhat hesitantly rested his head against Eren’s shoulder, something he’d always been fond of doing, even before the two had started dating. This action was met by a chorus of “Awws” that had been threatening to spill out, Eren was sure, from the start. Not a moment later though, Eren felt Armin stiffen a bit in his arms, and he pulled back slightly so he could see if something was wrong. Judging from his pink cheeks, Armin was just embarrassed about letting his guard down in front of all of their friends.  


               Eren released his tight grip around Armin in exchange for taking his left hand, where the matching black band to Eren’s own was. He used his own left hand to direct Armin’s gaze away from the onlookers and towards his own beaming face, causing Armin to instantly relax again, though the pink on his normally pale cheeks remained, vivid as ever.  


               “I came back for you. I came home to you. And I’m never going to leave you again,” Eren cooed while cupping Armin’s soft, flushed cheek. “You mean the world to me, Arm, and there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to be with you.”  


               Eren watched as Armin glanced to the side in quiet embarrassment, but he was obviously happy. For the first time in a long time, Armin had a real smile on his face, despite the fact that his eyes were filled with tears. Eren looked to the side and saw all of their friends watching respectfully, and he knew the time was right. It wasn’t anything he had planned on doing today, but he was just so elated and in love with this boy in front of him, Eren knew he couldn’t go another day without being sure that they would be together forever.  


               “In fact, there’s nothing that I want more than to have you by my side forever. So,” Eren asked quietly as he reached for the small box he’d been keeping in his pocket and dropping down to one knee, “Armin Arlelt, will you marry me?”  


               Eren watched anxiously as Armin glanced from Eren’s face to the engagement ring he was holding up for all to see. He was elated when his blond boyfriend turned about fifty shades of red and started nodding silently as the tears finally spilled over. Suddenly, there was an outcry of cheers and congratulations from those around them, and it was apparent that no one remembered that this was all happening in a library. Reiner whistled as Eren gently slid the ring onto Armin’s finger to join the other band. Before he’d even finished the motion, Conny and Sasha started chanting “Kiss him! Kiss him!” at Eren, and they were soon joined by the rest of the gang, even Mikasa. Eren rose to his feet and embraced his new fiancé, who had managed to turn an even brighter shade of red. Without another moment of hesitation, Eren brought their lips together for the first time in nearly four years. You’d never know, because of how perfectly the two fit together and interacted, that this was only the second time they’d ever kissed.  


               When Eren finally broke the kiss, he rested his forehead against Armin’s and just took a moment to look into those beautiful, blue eyes that he’d fallen for. He could hear his friends chatting excitedly in the background but all he cared about was the smiling face right in front of him. Eren finally looked away when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Glancing to the side, Eren was a bit shocked to see that it belonged to Jean. Considering their rival-like history, it was a nice surprise to see that he was the first to wander over and offer his congratulatory words, and Eren was excited to think that they might be able to move forward as friends this time around.  


               However, his theory was a bit rattled when Jean opened his mouth to speak.  


               “Ladies and gentlemen, as we start our decent, please make sure that your seat backs and tray tables are in their full, upright positions…”  


               Eren opened his eyes only to realize that he was still on the airplane heading across the country. He’d been using his arms like a pillow on the tray table meant for refreshments for the majority of the flight.  


               “Damn… Of course it could only go that well in my dreams…” Eren murmured aloud, still rather groggy from just waking up.  


               As he raised his head, he looked at the blue box that had been resting in the nest made by his arms as he’d napped. Rather absentmindedly, he flicked the lid open with a quiet pop and admired the ring inside.  


               “Good luck with your proposal, young man,” said the person next to Eren.  


               Eren looked to his side and actually regarded the man for the first time. He was much taller than Eren, with well-groomed, blond hair and kind, blue eyes. At first glance, he was a rather intimidating character, but the smile on his face and warmth in his eyes betrayed that initial impression, making Eren relax a bit, though not completely. This man seemed familiar somehow, and it was keeping Eren a bit on edge.  


               “Thank you, sir,” Eren answered a bit awkwardly.  


               “You look nervous,” the man added, with a smile. “You shouldn’t be. If you’re certain she’s the one, there’s nothing to be afraid of. Though… you are a bit young, aren’t you?”  


               “Well, it’s like you said. If you know it’s right…” Eren replied with a grin.  


               “What’s her name, son?” the man asked with curiosity as he gazed at the ring Eren was still holding.  


               “ _His_ name is Armin,” Eren replied calmly, somehow not as annoyed about the assumption as usual.  


               Eren glanced up just in time to see the man’s eyes widen ever so slightly, but his face returned to normal so quickly that Eren was unsure if he’d only imagined it. The man was probably reacting to the fact that Eren was proposing to another boy, but it was nice that he tried so hard not to let the fact that it bothered him show.  


               “That’s a lovely name. What’s yours, young man?” he asked, extending his hand.  


               “My name’s Eren, uh, Mr.…?” he responded as he shock the man’s hand.  


               “Smith. Erwin Smith. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Eren,” Erwin answered coolly as he shook Eren’s hand a bit more firmly than he was expecting.  


               “Likewise,” Eren said, as he retracted his now sore hand.  


               Just then, Eren realized that they had landed as the flight attendant came back onto the intercom and welcomed everyone to Shiganshina. A few minutes later, Eren had gathered his belongings and made his way off the plane. As he set his things down on a nearby bench to rearrange everything before making his way to the taxis, he felt a hand on his shoulder. Glancing backward, Eren saw that it was Erwin Smith again.  


               “I wish you the best of luck with Armin. I have a feeling you might need it,” he said as he walked past Eren and out of the terminal.  


               Though he was certain that the man’s words were meant to be comforting, Eren couldn’t help the rising worry in the back of his mind as he climbed into a taxi and asked the driver to head to his school. It’d been a long time since he’d last been here, and surely a lot of things had changed. However, as long as Armin was here, Shiganshina was where he belonged, and that fact was enough to keep Eren going.  


               As Eren watched his familiar childhood home zoom past him through the taxi window, he couldn’t help but wonder if today would turn out as perfectly as he’d imagined dozens and dozens of times since he bought the one-way ticket a few months ago. As he was driven past his old neighborhood, the one where Armin still resided and was oh so conveniently located right next to Eren’s new apartment, he couldn’t help but feel the nerves return. The last time Eren felt this nervous was the day just before he left for Stohess, where he confessed his long-suppressed feelings for Armin. It ended up being the best day of his life thus far too.  


               Caught up in his nostalgia, Eren didn’t even realize that the taxi had stopped in front of his school. He was pulled back into reality by the driver repeating his bill for about the fifth times in a row. Sheepishly shoving the requested amount plus a rather generous tip forward, Eren stepped onto the sidewalk in front of the school and shouldered his backpack with a sigh. This was the moment of truth.  


               Eren walked up the path, knowing that the bell signaling the start of lunch would be sounding in the next few minutes. It was the perfect time to arrive and find all of his friends in one place. As he made his way up the steps, Eren noticed a classroom full of bored-looking students trying to make it through the end of a dull literature lecture. Among them was Mikasa who noticed Eren immediately when he raised his hand to wave. Her eyes widened like saucers at the sight of him, and Eren had to laugh at the sight, silently very happy that he had decided to keep his big move a secret. As he continued through the front doors and down the hallway, Eren thought about how her face alone, well, and hopefully Armin’s, would be worth the trouble he’d been through. Considering his dream had been pretty spot on so far, Eren hoped that the rest of his day would go just as smoothly.  


               However, Eren became very aware that things would not be going as smoothly as he’d hoped as soon as he was grabbed by his backpack and thrown into an empty classroom on his right. After colliding with a large lab table and taking a moment to catch his breath, Eren whipped around to figure out who had attacked him. He was rather horrified to see Mikasa’s stony eyes glaring at him.  


               “What the hell was that for?!?” he cried, straightening himself out and facing her.  


               “What are you doing here, Eren?” she replied very evenly as she closed the door behind her, enveloping them in darkness thanks to the closed drapes along the wall.  


               “Nice to see you too, Mikasa…” Eren mumbled angrily.  


               “I didn’t know you were planning on visiting. Why didn’t you let me know?” she questioned coolly as she walked towards Eren.  


               “It’s called a surprise. Most normal people react more positively when seeing a friend for the first time in years,” he responded.  


               “A surprise? For who? Just me?” Mikasa asked as she stopped and crossed her arms over her chest.  


               “Not just you. Everyone,” Eren countered, meeting her gaze and matching her glare.  


               “Everyone? Like… _everyone_ everyone?” she questioned, gripping her arms tightly.  


               “Umm… Yes?”  


               “Jean?”  


               “Well, duh. I—”  


               “Reiner?”  


               “Erm, yes. He’s part of everyo—”  


               “Armin…?” Mikasa asked, her gaze switching to one of concern.  


               “Especially Armin,” Eren said with a nod and a smile, calming down at the mention of his love.  


               “Oh, Eren… This is bad. Did you really think showing up here after, what, three, four years would just go perfectly?” she murmured, walking over to the window and looking behind the thick curtains.  


               “Why do you say that? I came back for him. Just like I promised,” Eren countered, suddenly annoyed again.  


               “Came back for him? What’s that supposed to mean? You came to take him somewhere? And he doesn’t even know?”  


               Mikasa was spouting questions so fast that Eren couldn’t keep up. He decided it’d just be easier to show her. Besides, Mikasa deserved to know of Eren’s plans before anyone else. So as Mikasa started to pace the room, continuing to throw out unanswered questions, Eren pulled the little, blue box out of his backpack and tossed it to her. Mikasa, being Mikasa, caught it with no trouble. After a curious look at Eren, she opened it, and her eyes opened twice as wide as before.  


               “I came back because I love him. And because he needs me,” Eren added after a few moments of silence from Mikasa.  


               She continued to stare at the ring inside even as the lunch bell rang. Eren looked over his shoulder towards the closed door and desperately wanted to run out and join the students in the hallway. However, he knew he needed to calm Mikasa first.  


               “I came back because this is my home. All of my friends are here. You’re here. And so is the love of my life. And with that, I’m going to propose and make sure that he knows just what he means to me,” Eren stated confidently, somehow feeling a need to defend his plan from the person he’d expected to get the most support from.  


               With those last words, Mikasa raced across the room towards Eren and grabbed onto his shirt collar, preventing any chance he had of escaping her. She glared at him as she clutched the box beside both of their faces.  


               “Armin is a fifteen-year-old _child_ ,” Mikasa spat angrily.  


               Oh yeah. Armin was only fifteen. It wasn’t as if Eren couldn’t tell you how old he was if asked, but he’d never thought of it in the context of getting married. Armin had started school a few years early due to the fact that he was, well, absolutely brilliant, and if he hadn’t become so close with many of his classmates, he’d already be in college. Anyway, either Eren would have to get permission from Armin’s parents, or he could just wait a few months until Armin was sixteen. Waiting might go over a little better.  


               “I guess you’re right. I wasn’t planning on doing it today or anything—” Eren tried to counter.  


               “But what in the world are you thinking _proposing_ to a _boy_ that you aren’t even _dating_?” she added a little more loudly.  


               “Wait… What…?” Eren gaped, flabbergasted. “We’ve been together for about four years now… How could you forget?”  


               “Forget?!? How could I forget how devastated Armin was when you broke up with him, what was it, three years ago?!?” she exclaimed.  


               Eren was almost too confused to respond. That wasn’t right. None of this was right.  


               “I never broke up with him… I love Armin more than ever… I would never—”  


               Mikasa released Eren’s shirt when they heard a knock on the door behind them. The knock came in a specific pattern, clearly a code for something.  


               “Shit,” Mikasa sighed as she grabbed Eren’s arm and began dragging him away from the door where the knock had come.  


               “Special Chemistry Club meeting! You’ve got a minute before I use the key!” came a familiar, booming, charismatic voice from the other side of the door.  


               “One second, Reiner! We’re leaving,” Mikasa yelled as she pulled Eren towards the back of the classroom where a second door was located.  


               “Eren, listen to me,” she said, whipping around and gripping his shoulders tightly. “Don’t say a word about Armin to anyone. Not yet. I’ll explain what I know later, okay? Please?”  


               After receiving a reluctant and confused nod from a dazed Eren, Mikasa continued to hustle them out the back door and into another hallway that must be perpendicular to the one they’d originally entered the room from.  


               She continued to pull Eren through the busy hallway, but Eren was hardly aware enough to avoid the many students he kept bumping in to. He was too horrified by Mikasa’s words, but maybe it was all just a misunderstanding. Or maybe it was some sick and twisted joke. Maybe Jean had somehow found out that Eren was coming and had put Mikasa up to this. Maybe he’d walk through these doors into the cafeteria and find all of his friends and, most importantly, his beloved boyfriend.  


               However, Eren was severely disappointed when he followed Mikasa into the lunchroom. He didn’t see Jean’s stupid muffin-top haircut or ugly horse-face. He also didn’t see Marco’s sweet freckles or pleasant smile. He didn’t see Annie’s tight, blonde bun or perpetual glare. He didn’t see Conny’s bald head and goofy grin. He didn’t see Sasha eating everything the cafeteria had to offer. He didn’t see Bertholdt or Reiner or Ymir or Christa either. In fact, he didn’t see any of his close buddies. Eren began to fear they’d all moved away. But worst of all, he couldn’t see the beautiful golden halo he was looking for among the crowd of down-turned heads he saw around the large room.  


               “Where is everyone?” Eren murmured, worried.  


               Seeing his concern, Mikasa replied with a forced smile, “Don’t worry. Everyone’s probably outside. There’s outdoor seating now since the school’s gotten so big.”  


               Eren breathed a sigh of relief as he followed Mikasa through the adjacent doors to the outside eating area. It wasn’t hard to spot his favorite bunch of misfits at the table closest to the doors. However, it took even less time to realize that Armin and Reiner weren’t among them.  


               “Where’s Armin?” Eren whispered to Mikasa.  


               “Probably at that Chemistry Club meeting. He is the president, after all,” she responded as she approached the energetic table, motioning for Eren to follow. “Don’t worry. You’ll see him later, I’m sure.”  


               Eren approached the table, and it didn’t take long for him to be noticed.  


               “Oh my God! Eren?!?” Marco exclaimed, causing everyone to look in the direction of his gaze.  


               “Hey, guys,” Eren replied with a wave and a genuine smile, happy to see everyone.  


               “Well, if it isn’t Eren fucking Jaeger,” Jean called, standing up from the table and walking over to pat Eren on the back. “What brings you to our neck of the woods?”  


               “Yeah! We haven’t seen you for years!” Sasha yelled between mouthfuls of cafeteria mac and cheese.  


               “Oh, well, I missed you all. This is my home. I had to come back eventually, right?” Eren answered, taking a seat at the table next to Bertholdt and facing the door so he could look for Armin.  


               “Aww. That’s so sweet, Eren. We’ve missed you too,” Christa replied with a smile.  


               “Speak for yourself,” laughed Ymir, wrapping her arm tightly around the little blonde at her side.  


               “Oh come now,” Eren countered. “You’re just saying that because you know that me being back means you won’t be the best at football anymore.”  


               “She’s good, but not the best anymore,” Jean said with a smirk.  


               “Oh yeah? Who does that honor belong to?” Eren asked.  


               “That’d be me, Jaeger. And don’t you forget it,” Jean replied.  


               “Well, Jean _is_ our varsity quarterback now, but I don’t know if that means he’s the best player. I mean, it’s a team sport. It takes more than one man to—”  


               “Oh, shut up, Marco. I’m just trying to give Jaeger a hard time. It’s my job, after all,” Jean cut in.  


               “Yeah, Marco. It’s Jean’s job to be a complete asshole,” Conny laughed.  


               As Conny and Jean began to argue in the background, Eren continued to watch the door. He hoped that the doors would swing open soon, that the clouds would part, and light would shine down on Eren’s young prince. Eren was roused out of his daydreams when Marco began to question him about his time in Stohess. Eren tried to answer all of the questions enthusiastically and with details, but he was definitely distracted by those closed doors. Every time they opened, Eren would hold his breath and hope to see Armin, but each time he was disappointed with the sight of a student he didn’t really know or remember.  


               “So how long are you visiting for, Eren?” Christa asked politely.  


               “Visiting? Oh no. I’m back for good,” Eren replied and was surprised when he saw Mikasa stiffen across the table.  


               Everyone else seemed fairly elated by his response though, even Jean.  


               “Really? Well then, you better join the football team. We could use you this year,” Jean grinned, already plotting his road to the championship, Eren was sure.  


               "We’ll see. I should probably get a job to keep paying for my apartment and stuff,” Eren replied.  


               “Apartment? You aren’t living with your parents anymore?” Marco questioned.  


               Glancing to Mikasa, Eren answered, “No. I moved back on my own. In fact, they don’t even know I’m gone yet.”  


               “Whoa! Really?!? That’s hardcore! What a rebel!” Conny exclaimed.  


               “Seems like a big risk for a kid to make,” Jean commented with a wary look.  


               “Well, I have my reasons. Again, I just needed to come… home…” Eren trailed off because his eyes had finally caught sight of the person he had been looking for.  


               Armin Arlelt stood in the doorway to the little courtyard with Reiner at his side. His eyes were locked with Eren’s own, and just like his daydream, they were quickly filling with tears threatening to spill down his pale cheeks. An oblivious Reiner was trying to shove a lunch tray at Armin and was only succeeding at bumping it against his chest, which was looking broader than Eren remembered. Armin took the tray absent-mindedly a few moments later, but his attention was still fully on Eren. He seemed to be trying to figure out if the other boy was really here and was obviously overwhelmed that Eren was back and just a few yards away from him.  


               Finally, only a few yards and a picnic table separated Eren from his beloved Armin. No longer were they separated by thousands of miles, countless states, even multiple time zones. Nothing else stood in the way of Eren rushing forward, embracing him, and kissing him passionately like he’d been dreaming about doing since the day he left. He couldn’t wait to wipe away those tears of joy from Armin’s beautiful eyes and brush his lovely hair back, just to get a better look at that face he’d been dreaming of ever since he could remember. Armin was right there, waiting for him. It was time to act.  


               But as Eren rose from the table and took a step forward, he suddenly realized that he’d been misinterpreting what he was seeing. Indeed, Armin’s eyes were filled with tears, but Eren finally came down from his high enough to realize that the expression on his face was not one of joy, excitement, or relief; it was horror, fear, even terror. He looked absolutely sick. Before Eren could even figure out how to react, Armin was dropping the tray Reiner had given him and dashing back into the school, out of sight. Eren called out for Armin and took off running after him a moment later, but he was quickly stopped by a strong arm yanking him backward.  


               “Let me fucking go!!!” Eren screamed, trying to break free of Mikasa’s ridiculously firm grasp.  


               Despite his protests and struggles, Eren was not released by Mikasa. In fact, her grasp just tightened around his arm. Eren was sure he’d have a bruise the next day from her grip. As his vision began to blur from the tears of frustration and hurt, Eren finally became aware of the murmuring of his friends behind him and, worse, the obnoxious laughter from Jean. How dare he laugh at a time like this? As Eren dropped his head and tried to get his emotions even partially under control, he saw the contents of Armin’s dropped tray roll towards him and stop in front of his feet: nothing but a single, red apple. It seemed oddly appropriate for this nightmare Eren was living.  


               “What’s happening?” Eren whispered, just loud enough for Mikasa to hear over Jean’s cackling but no one else.  


               “Armin’s life… is complicated… He’s probably just not ready to see you again,” Mikasa whispered, releasing Eren now that she felt confident he wouldn’t run.  


               Taking his seat beside Bertholdt again since he knew running would be futile with Mikasa around, Eren rest his head on the table and asked no one in particular, “Where’s he going?”  


               “Armin? Oh he’s probably halfway home by now,” scoffed Jean.  


               “But why? I thought he’d be happy to see me,” Eren commented sadly.  


               “Well, I mean, you did just kinda show up out of the blue. It probably spooked him, especially since he’s likely unsure what kind of terms you guys are on,” Bertholdt stated, resting a comforting hand on Eren’s hunched back.  


               “What’s that supposed to mean? We’re on great terms,” Eren snapped a little more harshly than Bertholdt probably deserved.  


               “Sorry. Sorry. I’m glad to hear that, actually. I mean, after your falling out all those years ago, I wasn’t sure if you’d even try to make up. I figured you’d both—”  


               “Falling out? What falling out? I love Armin just as much now as I did the day I left, if not more!” Eren yelled, whipping his head up to glare at poor Bertholdt.  


               “ _Love_ him? You better watch your tongue, Jaeger. You might give Armin’s boyfriend the wrong impression,” Jean said with a laugh and was quickly joined by Reiner’s boisterous laughter.  


               “What?!?” Eren screamed, slamming his hands down on the table and jumping to his feet.  


               “What’s the matter, Jaeger? Got a problem with gay people?” Jean asked coolly and nodding his head towards the rest of the table.  


               It was no secret that most of those sitting around him were gay, and it should have been even less of a secret that Eren didn’t give a care since he was too.  


               “What? That’s crazy. I’m—”  


               Leaning towards Jean, Reiner added, “Technically, isn’t Armin bi?”  


               “Wait! What?!?” Eren squeaked, even more confused.  


               As far as Eren knew, Armin hadn’t dated anyone before him, and considering how close they’d always been, it’d be pretty hard for Armin to go out with someone without Eren finding out.  


               “I guess you’re right,” Jean commented before looking back to the flustered Eren. “You got a problem with bi people, Jaeger?”  


               “Of course not—”  


               “Then you just have a problem with _Armin_ being bi?” Jean asked calmly, a glint of mischievousness in his narrowed eyes.  


               “No! I’m just confused now… Anyway, you were there when—”  


               “Then what’s so wrong about little Armin having a boyfriend?” Jean asked harshly.  


               “I thought ** _I_** was Armin's boyfriend!!!” Eren yelled, the tears of frustration returning.  


               Eren’s outburst was met with awkward, confused stares from most of his friends before Jean and Reiner broke out into ear-piercing laughter once again.  


               “Forget it! This isn’t funny anymore, you guys. I’m out of here!” Eren called over his shoulder as he stormed off in the direction Armin had headed.  


               Everything they were saying, were implying, was absurd, and absolutely nothing was adding up. There was likely only one person who had all the answers that Eren cared about, and that’s who he set out to find. It was time for Eren to track down his sweetheart and get some answers, and hopefully that kiss he was craving.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I'm about 95% sure that I'm going to switch to first person from Eren's perspective. I mean, it's already from Eren's perspective. Just in third person. This story is supposed to be about Eren trying to figure out what has been going on since he left, and I think this change will make it easier to give insight into his thoughts. Also, since there is going to be a focus on a male/male relationship, it would be nice to have two different pronouns (he/him and I/me) so that I don't have to keep repeating names. Lastly, I just prefer writing in first person. If this is a terrible idea, please let me know. Thanks. =)


	3. The First Day Back in Shiganshina (Part 2) and Memories of the Past (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren attempts to track down Armin, and in the process he reminisces about their past together, including their first kiss. This chapter is pretty darn sweet. =)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I changed the ratings and warnings and stuff because I don't wanna scare people away just yet, especially since I'm unsure if this fic will ever become "explicit." It might. Maybe. If I can convince myself to type it. We'll see, but it might be a little while. I think it might be going back to "mature" soon though. But I'll be sure to update it properly and add warning tags if necessary. It's pretty safe right now though. =)
> 
> Also, why did I spend ALL day working on this chapter instead of doing the homework I so desperately need to start? I really hope you guys like it. Also, I thought this fic finally needed some Eremin, so... enjoy! =)
> 
> Oh. And one last thing. The Attack on Space finale came out tonight. I watched the live stream. And it was wonderful. And I cried. Those guys are awesome, and I thank them for telling such a wonderful story. That is all. =)
> 
> Edit: I just realized I'm a moron and despite pointing out that I was going to follow the English dub spellings, I found 10 places that I'd spelled Conny like Connie. Curse you, Funimation! (Just kidding. I actually really like the dub, as blasphemous as some of you will call that.) =)

               Eren stormed down the front steps of the school and ran towards the street.  He stopped in his tracks when he realized he couldn’t see much through his tear-glazed eyes.  Wiping away the tears, he came to realize that Armin must have taken off for his home on foot, considering he wasn’t even old enough to drive yet.  The trek to his house wasn’t something you’d normally want to walk, considering it was two or three miles away, but it was definitely do-able with all of the sidewalks.  Eren was really starting to wish he’d brought his car from Stohess, but he knew he had enough money to get something here.  It might not be a _fancy_ something, but it’d probably have four wheels and get him where he needed to go.

               After a deep, calming breath, Eren started running towards his old neighborhood.  Considering Armin hadn’t left that long ago and Eren had always been faster, he was sure that he’d catch up with the kid on the way.  Maybe they could hold hands the rest of the way home and sort things out.  Eren had always wanted to do that sort of thing, but since they’d started dating, he’d never gotten the chance.  There hadn’t been much time for it, and during the few chance they did have, Armin hadn’t allowed it.

               After jogging a full mile and a half, Eren began to wonder why he hadn’t caught Armin yet.  He couldn’t even see him down the long, straight street.  Maybe Eren was more out of shape than he thought.  Or maybe it wasn’t fair to compare the physiques of a fourteen-year-old and an eleven-year-old, which is the only comparison that Eren could really draw from.  Admitting defeat, he rounded a corner that led him to the side street he was looking for.  Glancing to his left, Eren saw his old home for the first time in years.  Whoever lived there now was taking wonderful care of it, considering the exterior was absolutely spotless.  The home even looked like it had just received a fresh coat of paint.  The lawn, too, was pristine; not a single blade of grass or flower petal was out of place.  Eren grew a little jealous, seeing that house again, not so much because of how exquisite it was looking but more because it was directly across the street from his best friend’s home.

               Pulling his eyes away from his old house, he turned his attention to Armin’s.  It was a perfectly-sized home for their family of four, and it looked as well-kept as ever.  Though it was nothing fancy to most people who saw it, the sight of this light blue home was enough to make Eren’s breath catch in his throat.  It brought back so many memories, and he was certain he knew the details of this home even better than his own, considering he spent most nights in Armin’s room when they were growing up. 

               As he approached the front door, Eren passed the two massive trees that stood in front of the house.  He was happy to see that the yellow tightrope was still strung between them.  Though it frustrated him to no end that he’d never been able to master it, the rope made him smile and think back to all the summer days he’d just sit in the shade with his friends and watch Armin practice.  However, something was a little bit different now.  The yellow rope appeared to have a bit more slack than normal, and Eren assumed it was because this one wasn’t used anymore.  In fact, there was a tighter, red wire a foot or so above the old one, and this new one appeared to be the one used for training these days. 

               As he reached the door, Eren took another deep breath in a pathetic attempt to calm his nerves and silence the doubt and fear bubbling up inside him.  After a few seconds of hesitation, he rang the doorbell.  Eren began to twist the band on his finger as he waited.  And waited.  And waited.  But there was no response.  No one seemed to stir in the house, not even the family cat, Minx.  Well, she was a cat after all, and cats are lazy.  Maybe Eren wasn’t worth the effort.  Or perhaps the little cat was with Armin in his room, or wherever he was.  Still hearing nothing, Eren tried knocking, rather loudly, rather desperately.  But still, there was nothing. 

               Checking the time on his phone, he realized that it made since that Armin’s parents were gone.  They were at work.  The same was probably true for his grandfather, considering he was still a rather able-bodied man.  That being said, wasn’t this where Armin was supposed to be?

               With shaky hands, Eren reached for the string around his neck.  Slowly, he pulled the key he wore around his neck, the one he’d been wearing for nearly four years now, into his hands.  It seemed wrong to use this precious gift to literally hunt down the person who had given it to him.  Maybe, for now, he should respect Armin’s wishes to be alone.  If he’d wanted to see Eren, he would have come to the door.

               Slipping the key back to its place near his heart, Eren started back down the little path towards the street.  He glanced once again at those two familiar trees next to him and noticed one more peculiar thing.  There were two sets of brown, leather straps dangling from the old, yellow tightrope.  Surely they were the ones that Armin’s parents wore during each of their performances, especially considering the two matching headbands were also there.  However, they looked worn down, so they must have been retired, just like the yellow rope.  Maybe Armin had convinced his parents to upgrade their old harnesses for new ones with all the modifications he’d been suggesting practically since he’d learned how to speak.

               As he surrendered and headed down the street towards the nearby apartment complex where he needed to begin unpacking, Eren thought fondly of those leather bands.  He’d been there when Armin had first received his own headband from his parents. 

               It’d been a warm day in the middle of summer, just over eight years ago.  Eren had been ranting about his surefire, money-making, lemonade stand idea while Armin, who was carefully navigating his way across the tightrope while holding a tray of stacked books and plastic cups filled with the aforementioned lemonade, questioned the research Eren had done on the potential profit margin and time it would take to pay off the initial investment of building a “proper stand,” as Eren had been proposing.  After a few seconds of silence, caused by Eren’s awe of both Armin’s insight as a seven-year-old and his balance despite the long, blond bangs hindering his vision, Eren had told Armin the only words he could think of.

               “ _Just trust me._ ”

               “ _Sure thing, Eren,_ ” had been Armin’s response as he spun around on the wire and began heading back in the other direction for yet another pass.

               However, he’d been stopped when the boys heard Armin’s parents cheering and rushing towards them.  The noise caused Armin to wobble a little, but he managed to correct himself and his carefully-balanced tray.

               “ _You’re already so far along!_ ” Eren remembed Armin’s mother cooing with awe.

               “ _Why didn’t you tell us?_ ” Armin’s father had questioned gently.

               Armin hopped down from the rope and brushed his hair back with his free hand.  He looked extremely nervous now, despite being perfectly comfortable with the task he’d been doing moments before.

               “ _I thought I wasn’t ready.  I was worried I’d just fall… and disappoint you…_ ” he’d answered, though the last part was so quiet that Eren wasn’t sure if his parents had heard it at all.

               “ _We were watching you from inside, and you’re definitely ready, Dear!  You’ll be an inspiration to kids your age!_ ” his mother had exclaimed, pulling him into a hug. 

               Eren noticed Armin’s father reaching into his back pocket as the boy was being embraced.  As soon as his mother had loosed her grip, his father was extending his gift to Armin.  Upon seeing it, Armin’s eyes widen, and the anxiety that had been there but a moment before was gone and replaced with excitement. 

               Armin took the simple leather band into his small hands and ran a finger along the golden engraving of his name.  Eren was used to seeing Armin’s beautiful, blue eyes shine with delight, but they were positively shimmering now.  Eren knew this was a big accomplishment to him, considering Armin would whisper to him about how he would have dreams of receiving this gift by the end of elementary school.  It’d been a family tradition in the Arlelt family, that when one of their own was ready to join their traveling circus and have their own act, they would receive this symbol and then be fitted for their full harness.  Eren was there for that too.

               However, maybe the best part about this particular memory was the fact that the first thing Armin did after examining his headband was look up at Eren, not his parents.  It was a selfish thing to care about, but it made Eren blissful nonetheless.  With exhilaration glimmering in his eyes, Armin grinned at Eren as he slipped the band around his head, pushing his bangs back and away from his gorgeous eyes.  Eren remembered how nice it’d been to see the entirety of his pale face, a sight he only got to see when the boys went swimming.  It was one of many Armin-related reasons that Eren enjoyed swimming so much.

               After he’d tighten the strap suitably, Armin hopped back on the tightrope and attempted something he’d been having a lot of trouble with, probably because he couldn’t see properly because of his nearly shoulder-length hair.  He bent over backwards, showing off his flexibility, and quickly flipped himself backwards over his hands that were now on the rope.  Upon landing successfully, if not a bit shakily, he grinned at Eren who was giving him two thumbs up but trying to keep quiet since this was clearly a moment he should be sharing with his parents, not his neighborhood friend.

               After his parents had finished cheering and gone back inside the house, probably to call whoever was responsible for making the family’s costumes, Armin had rushed over to Eren and plopped down on the grass in front of him.  He was still beaming.

               “ _Thanks, Eren,_ ” he stated with a grin.

               “ _For what?  I can’t do that awesome stuff!_ ” Eren had countered.

               “ _Maybe not, but it’s because of you that I can…_ ” Armin admitted, running his hand through his messy, pushed-back hair.

               “ _Why in the world would you say that?  I’m the worst coach ever!  I’d cheer for you even if you did everything wrong,_ ” Eren had admitted with a laugh.

               “ _Exactly.  Even after I’d gotten frustrated and tried giving up, you kept telling me that I could do it.  You kept me going.  So…  Thanks, Eren,_ ” Armin said, leaning forward to wrap his thin arms around Eren’s neck.

               As Eren returned the embrace, he had started to really understand just what he meant to Armin, and, perhaps even more so, what Armin meant to himself.  Even as little kids, Armin had meant the world to Eren.  And this was still true, even as Eren walked away from his old neighborhood.

               After checking in with the leasing office, Eren was given two sets of keys to his apartment and shown to his new place.  It was nothing to write home about, but it was nice enough, with fairly new furnishings and crisp, white paint on all the walls.  The first thing Eren noticed upon entering his place was the pile of boxed furniture that he’d ordered and had delivered ahead of time.  Maybe he could convince some of his buddies to come help him set up his new apartment.  After accounting for the bed, the TV, its stand, a couch, a small dining table, and various bookshelves for storage, Eren spotted the one box he’d paid premium money to get delivered overnight while the rest of his things would arrive later in the week.  Pulling out his pocket knife, Eren gently sliced through the packing tape and opened the neatly organized box. 

               It was filled to the brim with old pictures of himself and Armin.  Some of them were big group pictures, featuring all of the kids from the original 104th Elementary class they’d both been a part of.  Others featured the two of them with Mikasa, someone that both of the boys considered to be like a sister to them.  She was often responsible for keeping them out of trouble, and it was no secret to anyone who knew the boys that Mikasa was the person you had to go through if you wanted to mess with either of _her_ boys.  One of Eren’s favorite pictures was one of Armin holding out the thin, red choker to Mikasa on her eighth birthday.  In the picture, Eren was covering Mikasa’s eyes and telling her not to peak until he said it was okay.

               However, Eren’s favorite picture was nestled on the bottom of the pile, in a golden picture frame.  It featured Eren holding Armin tightly from behind.  The smaller boy was nestled between Eren’s legs on the pool deck in Jean’s backyard.  Both of the boys, only wearing their swim trunks, were smiling cheerfully at the camera.  They were both soaked, but it hadn’t stopped Eren from cuddling with Armin that day, perhaps a bit too much.  Eren remembered that day very fondly, considering it was the day he’d asked Armin out, even though this picture was taken before the incident.  Sliding down against a bare wall, Eren observed the photograph, using the light of the day that was spilling in through a nearby window, and thought back to that day. 

               This particular day had been a pleasant summer day, one of the last ones Eren would be spending in Shiganshina.  Jean, out of the goodness of his heart, had arranged a little going away party for Eren at his home.  Now, it wasn’t _that_ weird that Jean was throwing this party.  He was, after all, the wealthiest member of the 104 th kids, and he was probably the person Eren was closest to after Armin and Mikasa.  However, despite them being close, Jean and Eren had always been somewhat like rivals.  They competed in everything they did:  grades in school, friendly and competitive sports, and even how close they could get to other people.  Jean seemed to have Marco in his back pocket while Eren had Mikasa, though neither of them thought of their closest friends in such a derogatory way.  It’s just how things were.  They were petty kids taking their friends for granted.  Nevertheless, Jean had been doing even more kind things for Eren that last summer, giving him gifts for no reason and holding back his typical teasing comments.  He even let Eren get away with calling him “Horse-face” with no repercussions.  Eren knew there had to be a reason, and he was certain the reason had to do with the little, blond boy he was always with.  Jean wasn’t stupid; he knew that Armin’s best friend slot would open up once Eren moved away.  Well, that was what he thought, at least.  Eren was sure that they’d stay just as close, despite the distance, and if it was up to him, after today, they’d be even closer.

               Eren and Armin had arrived at the party on foot.  They were a little late because Eren had insisted on stopping at their favorite ice cream stand along the way, despite Armin’s protests that there was bound to be gourmet food and snacks at Jean’s party, as always.  This 100% correct statement just made Eren’s determination to go to the ice cream stand that much greater, and Armin realized his mistake only a moment too late but knew he’d already lost.  After sharing a chocolate cone on their way there, the boys arrived at Jean’s, a bit stickier than when they’d left Eren’s house.  At the party, there were games and, yes, gourmet snacks and presents and, of course, swimming in the tremendous Kirschtein pool.  When they walked through the back gate and joined the rest of the guests, Eren heard Jean make a snarky comment about him _finally_ showing up to his own party.  Eren threw his bag on a nearby chair and went storming toward a smirking Jean, but he stopped completely when he felt Armin lace their fingers together and pull him back.  Though it was a completely innocent gesture on Armin’s part, this didn’t make the blush on Eren’s cheeks any less visible.  Or the strange expression that overtook Jean’s previous smirk.  Was that jealousy? 

               “ _Let’s swim.  I mean, we haven’t done that nearly enough this summer,_ ” Armin suggested with a giggle.

               Though he was being completely serious about his suggestion to swim, he was completely joking about the frequency that the two did it.  That summer, they’d swam almost every day, either in Eren’s or Jean’s pool, the local water park, or the nearby ocean.  It was no secret to Armin that Eren’s favorite summer activity was swimming, though the exact reason was still a mystery to him, though it was starting to become painfully obvious to everyone else.

               Eren watched a bit too closely as Armin pulled his shirt over his head while talking to Mikasa who’d been waiting near the gate for the boys to arrive.  Armin was a pretty conservative kid, the kind that would go into the bathroom stalls during gym class to change, unlike the rest of the boys.  Maybe it was because he was younger and wasn’t confident with his body compared to the older, more muscular kids.  The simple fact that Eren got to see this much of Armin’s soft, creamy white skin every time the two of them went swimming was probably the second most important reason it was his favorite thing to do with the other boy.  The first most important reason was that he got to touch that expanse of pale skin too.  Something about pools made it seem more okay for people to get closer, hold on to each other.  I mean, most pool games were founded on the principle of tagging other people or even grappling with them.  Armin, too, loved the water and the creatures that lived in it.  It was one of his favorite things to read about.  Egotistically, Eren hoped it was because of his own selfish love for the water that the other boy was so interested in it himself.

               “ _I said, ‘Are you ready, Eren?’”_ Armin was saying, snapping Eren back to reality. 

               He quickly looked away to hide his blush and caught Jean glaring at him from the pool.  The other boy just rolled his eyes and turned back to Marco and Mina.  Eren nodded to no one in particular, ripped off his shirt, and ran towards the pool to hide his embarrassment.  To his surprise, Armin ran ahead of him with a laugh.  Effortlessly, he flipped off the edge of the deck and ended his trick with a graceful dive into the deep end of the pool, surfacing next to Jean who quickly caught the boy and pulled him into a tight hug.  As Jean held Armin close to himself while they were treading water, Eren met his confident gaze.  Eren, now pissed, ran full speed towards the pool and cannonballed into the water, wiping the sneer right off of Jean’s stupid face.  Armin laughed and splashed Eren in an attempt to get revenge, considering he’d been caught in the crossfire of a rivalry he wasn’t fully aware of.  Meanwhile, Eren and Jean were attempting to drown each other, and Mikasa had to swoop in and pull Armin away from the water war.  After a few minutes of Eren refusing to lose to Jean, the two were interrupted by an irritated-looking Annie.  Apparently she’d been trying to tan nearby and was getting soaked by their poor aim.

               “ _Ladies, ladies, in case you haven’t noticed, your beloved prince has left the castle,_ ” she managed to tease with a deadpan voice.

               Eren and Jean immediately stopped their assault and looked in the direction that Annie had flicked her head.  In the shallow end of the pool, Armin was climbing onto Reiner’s shoulders to play a game of Chicken against Bertholdt and Conny.  Mikasa was sitting on the side of the pool, chatting with Sasha, but obviously keeping a close eye on the safety of those playing.  They’d had more than a few negative incidents, but those normally involved Jean and Eren.  And sometimes Ymir.  Luckily, she was preoccupied with Christa who was sunning herself next to Annie.

               “ _Of course he had to climb onto_ Reiner’s _shoulders,_ ” Eren heard Jean grumble behind him as they scrambled towards the game.

               Armin was actually doing a good job of holding his own against Conny who had the height advantage now that he was on Bertholdt’s shoulders.  Eren watched with envy as Armin quickly dropped his hand to touch Reiner’s right cheek.  It must have been a strategic code that they’d worked out because a moment later they dodged to the left, causing Conny to wobble slightly at the loss of his opponent.  It wasn’t much of an opening, but it was enough for Armin to reach in and shove Conny over backwards.  The two blonds cheered as Conny resurfaced and began questioning why Bertholdt hadn’t turned more quickly.  Armin used Reiner’s head as leverage and stood up on the boy’s shoulders.  Mikasa watched closely as he flipped over Reiner, intending to land in the space between him and their opponents.  However, Reiner caught him and started carrying him, bridal-style, towards the pool steps.  Armin was protesting being carried, but it was only half-hearted, considering he was giggling.  All the same, Eren didn’t like it, and it must have shown on his face because as soon as Armin caught a glimpse of him, he politely asked Reiner if he could set him down so he could grab a drink.  After Reiner complied and jogged back to the pool for another round, Eren trudged over to the snack bar where Armin was waiting for him, pretending to prepare a drink for himself.

               “ _You okay?_ ” the boy had asked, handing the drink he’d made to Eren.

               “ _Of course.  I love it when Reiner hits on you,_ ” Eren grumbled under his breath.

               If Armin heard him, he made no indication of it.  Instead, he bounced on his heels and took Eren’s hands in his own.

               “ _We need a picture together!  We’re running out of time, and my wall isn’t full yet,_ ” Armin explained with a grin.

               It’d been Armin’s goal, since the day Eren announced he was moving, to fill up the entirety of the wall by his bed with pictures of the two of them and their friends.  Many of the pictures Eren had now were duplicates of those photographs.  Anyhow, they’d been taking pictures all summer and pinning them on his wall, along with old ones, but Armin still wasn’t satisfied.  Eren wondered if he ever would be, considering his best friend was leaving.

               “ _Alright.  Grab the camera.  I’ll grab Mikasa,_ ” Eren had replied, already heading to get her.

               He’d walked off a bit too quickly, but it was because he was trying to hide the tears welling up in his eyes.  This summer had gone by much too fast, and he still hadn’t managed to do the one thing he’d planned on doing since he found out he had to leave.  Truthfully, he’d been wanting to do it for a lot longer than that but now it seemed that much more important.

               “ _Mikasa, could you take another picture?_ ” Eren asked a bit sheepishly.

               The girl stood up from the pool and followed Eren, but she stopped him when she thought they were out of earshot from everyone else.

               “ _Eren, have you been crying?_ ” she’d questioned gently.

               Knowing there was no reason to lie to her, he admitted, “ _I’m such a coward.  I’m almost out of time._ ”

               “ _Today’s as good a day as any,_ ” she’d answered.  “ _You have my support.  He won’t say ‘no.’  You just need to decide if you still want him to say ‘yes.’_ ”

               Her words confused Eren a bit, but he was happy to hear that she still supported his feelings.  She always had, and she’d always said they shouldn’t be kept secret.  But until now, he hadn’t listened.  He’d been too scared.

               “ _By the pool then?_ ” Armin asked as the others approached.  “ _I can’t believe we don’t have more pool pictures.  I think we just have that one from four years ago.  You know, after my first performance?_ ”

               “ _How could I forget?_ ” Eren replied thoughtfully, sitting down on the deck near the pool’s edge.

               Armin grinned and sat down next to Eren who watched him as he tried to fix his wet bangs.  Mikasa kneeled in front of them and brought up her camera.  Just as she was about to begin a countdown, Eren wrapped his arms around Armin’s waist and pulled him into his lap, holding him tightly against his own body.  Eren leaned his head forward and nearly kissed the boy but stopped himself when he saw Mikasa raise an eyebrow.  Sure, she was supportive of the idea of Eren and Armin _finally_ being together, but she wouldn’t allow anyone, even Eren, to take advantage of the kid.  Unwanted kissing probably fell into that category.

               Armin missed the look from Mikasa because just as she did it he looked up over his pale shoulder and smiled up at Eren who returned the gesture.  He turned back towards Mikasa when she started counting and held still as she took the picture.  Eren expected Armin to get up and walk away afterwards, perhaps follow Mikasa back to the pool where she was taking other pictures since she now had her camera out.  However, he showed no signs of pulling away.  Instead, he leaned further into Eren’s grip, even relaxing his muscles a bit.

               “ _You know,_ ” he said quietly, glancing up at Eren “ _I_ can _take care of myself.  I’m not as weak as I used to be.  You need to believe in me._ ”

               “ _I do.  I do.  It’s just…_ ” Eren began but trailed off when he couldn’t think of the right words to say.

               “ _You’re just protective of me.  Like Mikasa.  And I appreciate it, but…  I just want you to have some faith in me.  You used to,_ ” he added, still looking into Eren’s eyes with a sweet calmness that was so distracting that Eren almost missed the last words he’d said.

               “ _Wha?  I still have faith in you.  Please don’t misunderstand,_ ” Eren had answered desperately. 

               It hurt him to think that Armin was misinterpreting his affection for pity.  That wasn’t right at all, and that certainly wasn’t the impression that Eren wanted to leave him with.

               “ _Come here,_ ” Eren murmured into Armin’s ear.

               “ _Where?  I’m pretty much as close to you as I can—_ ”

               Armin’s statement was cut short when Eren scooped him into his arms, cradling him much like Reiner had a few minutes ago, and stood.  Their age difference at this stage in their lives was very convenient for such things, considering Armin had fallen way behind in height and weight from the other boys in their class, considering he’d hardly started to physically mature.  Effortlessly, Eren began walking them towards the pool as Armin looked up at him curiously.  Eren was aware that some of the others at the party were now glancing over at the two, though they were trying to hide it, but as he descended the steps into the refreshing water, Eren had already made up his mind to confess, even if he had an audience.  After all, what they thought about it didn’t really matter right now.  Besides, most of them already knew.

               “ _Armin, I want you to understand how I really feel about you,_ ” Eren murmured quietly, a bit too nervous to look at the boy he was still cradling in the water.

               “ _I know.  I get it.  I didn’t mean to question you, Eren.  I just can’t stand it when people think I’m just this pitiful little kid.  I mean, I know I’m younger, but—”_

               “ _No.  I still don’t think you truly understand.  I think you see me differently than I see you,_ ” Eren admitted, glancing over to see Jean and Reiner whispering across the pool.

               “ _You’re like a brother to me, and I can’t imagine what my life is going to be like without you here,_ ” Armin answered evenly. 

               “ _I love you, Armin,_ ” Eren whispered before he could convince himself it was a terrible idea.

               “ _I love you too, Eren, and I’m going to miss you terribly.  But I’ll see you soon.  I’m sure when—”_

               Eren’s eyes probably widened to double their original size when he stuttered, “ _You—You do?_ ”

               “ _What?  Love you?  Of course.  I’ve loved you since we first met.  And Mikasa too.  You’re like family—”_

               “ _Oh.  I see,_ ” replied Eren bitterly, causing Armin’s sweet face to contort into a frown that just didn’t suit him.

               “ _Was that the wrong answer?_ ” Armin asked with confusion.  “ _I didn’t mean to upset you.  You’re still my bestest friend, Eren!  Not even Mikasa can replace you._ ”

               Then it struck Eren that perhaps Armin was just too young.  Hell, he probably hadn’t even started going through puberty yet, and it wasn’t as if the two boys had ever talked about anything like this before.  Armin was still a child by most standards, but Eren was sure he would understand and, hopefully, feel the same.

               “ _It’s just that…_ ” Eren started but trailed off again, suddenly feeling dumb and selfish for even trying this just before he was about to leave.

               “ _Just that?”_ Armin asked, resting his head against Eren’s chest, a habit of his that drove Eren absolutely crazy with desire.

               As soon as Armin did that, Eren looked down and saw a gleam of mischievousness in the other boy’s eyes.  He _knew_.  He knew _exactly_ what Eren meant.  He just wanted to hear it said out loud.  The main question Eren had now was how long Armin had known about his feelings.

               “ _You’re gonna make me say it, huh?_ ” Eren asked, looking into Armin’s bright, blue eyes now.

               “ _You’re the one who started this conversation,_ ” he’d pointed out cheekily.

               “ _I love you, Armin, much more than just a friend.  Or even a best friend,_ ” Eren replied with a sweet smile.

               “ _I know,_ ” Armin giggled, a slight blush forming on his cheeks.

               “ _Do you… feel the same?_ ” Eren had managed to spit out nervously.

               Armin had looked away when he answered, “ _To be honest, I’ve never really thought about it.  I’ve only seen you as my friend._ ”

               Eren’s heart felt like it’d just been thrown off the top of the fifteen-story Survey Corps building downtown.  He looked away and tried to hold back the tears trying to escape.

               “ _That’s okay.  I thought it was a long shot anyways.  I hope this doesn’t change anything,_ ” Eren muttered.

               Now he was even more aware of the fact that _everyone_ was watching them now.  And surely they’d all heard some of it, probably most of it.  Mikasa was watching and seemed aware of the pain in Eren’s eyes, but she knew she couldn’t interfere in this.  Jean had obviously picked up on it too, and he was sneering and whispering to Reiner again.  Christa and Marco looked as sad as Eren probably looked.  However, Armin wasn’t looking around at their friends.  He was still looking right at Eren.

               “ _But it_ does _change things, Eren,_ ” Armin started to say.

               Eren felt his absolute worst fears coming true around him, and he was sure that all the beautiful light of that day was sucked away by the other boy’s words.  He was going to lose Armin for good.  He should have just kept his feelings secret.  At least then they could still be friends.  However, the light returned to his world when Armin continued with a weak little smile and an even brighter blush.

               “ _I mean, if you_ want _things to change… I’m willing to try…_ ” he murmured, still looking up at Eren calmly, though his face was bright red now.  “ _After all, I_ do _love you…  And… I trust you…_ ”

               Eren couldn’t believe what he was hearing as his eyes snapped back to the boy he was still holding.  With the pool shimmering behind his head, Armin looked even more stunning than normal, and the fact that he was blushing and smiling for no one but Eren at that moment made him look even more gorgeous.  Eren knew this could be the start of something very special, if he was still brave, and perhaps selfish, enough to take it.

               “ _So you’ll go out with me?_ ” Eren finally asked out loud, making everything they’d been discussing that much more real.

               Armin nodded silently and watched Eren’s face light up with an ear-to-ear grin.  It seemed to make him happier too because he giggled softly.

               “ _Can I…_ ” Eren began but had to start again after calming his nerves.  “ _May I kiss you?_ ”

               Armin’s blush seemed to double in intensity, but he looked happy.  And Eren was certain that the boy was delighted with his proper grammar.  Apparently it did the trick because, to Eren’s delight, Armin was nodding again and, what’s more, he reached up and wrapped both his arms around Eren’s neck.  Armin’s face was so close to his own now.  Eren managed to shift Armin so that he could hold him with a single arm and used the other to brush the golden, wet strands of hair away from the boy’s lovely face.  Armin was looking right at him with his big, blue eyes, waiting.  After a few seconds of just taking in his beauty, Eren became aware that Armin had been saying something to him, though he completely missed it.

               “ _Eren,_ ” he questioned uneasily.  “ _Did you change your mind?_ ”

               “ _Not at all,_ ” Eren murmured, resting his palm on Armin’s blush-stained cheeks.  “ _Just savoring the moment._ ”

               And before he knew it, Eren had closed the distance between their lips.  It had been a moment he’d been waiting years for, dreaming of, even.  It was the first kiss for each of them, and Eren had been so worried about it, considering all of his friends had told them horror stories about how awkward first kisses were.  But this one wasn’t.  It was perfect.  Eren could have sworn that their lips had been designed to fit together.  He thought for a moment that he couldn’t be happier, well, until he felt Armin tighten his grip around Eren’s neck, tilt his head a little further to the side, and deepen the kiss, making it so passionate that Eren was sure those watching would assume this was _not_ their first kiss.  Eren wasn’t complaining though, and he quickly adjusted to the new pace, eager to show Armin just how much he loved him, just how long he’d been wanting this. 

               A few seconds later, Armin was pulling back with a smile and a blush still plastered on his adorable face, and Eren was sure he was grinning like a massive idiot when he opened his eyes and looked at his new boyfriend.  It wasn’t until even a few seconds after this that Eren became aware of the reason Armin had pulled away.  He was happy, sure, but he was also a bit embarrassed considering almost all of their friends were cheering.  Obviously they’d been waiting for this too.  Well, not all of them.  Jean was gaping, and Reiner was patting him on the back with a sullen expression on his own face.  Mikasa was grinning deviously, and Eren could tell by the look on her face and the camera in her hands that she’d captured every moment of their first kiss.  Even Annie was watching them and smiling, looking a little less bored than usual.

               Before he realized it, Armin had slipped out of his arms and dashed out of the pool, wrapping his towel around himself.  He was still bright red, but Eren was fairly certain he was still happy so he followed the other boy.  Before he could say anything though, Mikasa was at their sides. 

               “ _I promised the Arlelts that I’d get Armin home before dinner,_ ” Mikasa stated, a small smile still tugging at her lips.

               “ _Oh.  Of course.  Should I—_ ” Eren began.

               “ _Nah.  You stay here and enjoy time with the rest of your friends.  I’m sure you and Armin will have more time in these next few days,_ ” she answered.

               Armin, meanwhile, was slipping his shirt and shoes back on.  He’d been avoiding eye contact with everyone, but he somehow didn’t appear upset.  Eren nodded to Mikasa before walking past her towards Armin, taking his hand and giving it a little squeeze.

               “ _You okay?_ ” Eren asked.

               Armin nodded, still not looking up, and pretended to busy himself with putting things in his bag.

               “ _Armin, look at me,_ ” Eren requested gently, especially since he knew Mikasa was watching everything over his shoulder. 

               He glanced up for a moment, met Eren’s eyes, and then looked away again.

               “ _Look, Baby, if you already regret it—_ ”

               This time, Armin looked up and didn’t look away.  He put his bag down, closed the distance between them, and wrapped his arms around Eren’s neck once again.  Armin stood on his tiptoes and brought their lips together once more, and Eren had to concentrate really hard to hear what Armin was saying to him as his lips hovered lightly against Eren’s own.

               “ _I don’t regret anything that has to do with you, Eren.  I never have, and I never will.  All you need to know is that I love you, and I always will, despite what anyone has to say about it,_ ” Armin stated evenly before bringing their lips together one final time.

               Feeling encouraged from Armin’s sweet words, Eren waved goodbye to him and Mikasa with a pleasant smile on his face as they headed home.  Absent-mindedly, Eren brought his fingertips to his lips, where the taste of the boy he’d loved for years, and would continue to love for many more, still lingered.  One of Eren’s biggest regrets was not realizing back then that his going away party had been both his first _and last_ opportunity to properly kiss Armin.

               Eren pulled out the next picture frame from the box of memories.  This photo was one of the pictures Mikasa had captured of their first kiss.  It looked straight out of a movie and seeing it again just made Eren crave Armin’s soft lips just that much more.  The more Eren stared at the pictures, the more he realized how sick he was starting to feel about this whole situation. 

               He needed a distraction.  He needed help getting his new place together.  He needed supervision before he did something stupid.  He needed Mikasa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yes, Armin's a circus kid, and I promise it's relevant. Like lots of these random details. =)
> 
> In addition, I know Eren isn't very good at telling stories linearly, but I hope you'll stick with me. Also, I hope it's okay that I kept it in 3rd person. The thought of going back and changing everything was terrifying... =)
> 
> Have a great rest of your weekend, everyone! Please let me know what you think. =)
> 
> Edit: Also, I kinda changed the title. I was at a OneRepublic concert when I was metaphorically slapped in the side of the head with how perfect this song is for my story. Heck. The lyrics are practically spoilers. Kinda. =)


	4. The First Day Back in Shiganshina (Part 3) and Memories of the Past (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren has more cute flashbacks of his past in Shiganshina with Armin as well as a very painful chat with Mikasa about the present, confusing situation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this update is a little shorter than my others. I'll try to keep the updates coming each weekend, but they'll be closer to this length, just so I can get some sleep at night AND finish my homework. =)
> 
> Also, I hope it's obvious now, but if the words in quotes are italicized that means that it was said in the past. =)
> 
> Lastly, there are some slightly updated tags. Again, I'm trying to do these as I go along now to avoid spoilers. =)

               “ _So why’d you name her Minx?”_ Eren asked as he absent-mindedly strummed an unknown melody on his guitar.

               He was sitting in the shade of one of the large trees in Armin’s front yard, his back pressed into the rough bark.  Tightening the tension of his D string, he glanced up, waiting for Armin to answer.  The other boy was currently supporting his full weight on his hands, trying to balance for a few minutes like his parents were expecting.  His eyes had been glued to the tightrope beneath him, but when Eren addressed him, Armin looked over.  Eren really loved that leather headband he always wore when he practiced now because he could easily see the light in his friend’s eyes.

               “ _Well, she’s a Manx, but when I first saw her, those little tufts on her ears reminded me of a Lynx that I’d just finished reading about.  So, I combined those two,”_ he answered, catching himself as he almost lost his balance.

               “ _I thought you just picked a flirty name for some weird reason,_ ” Eren laughed, checking his tuning again as he watched Armin.

               “ _No.  I was_ **trying** _to be clever, but my parents spelt her name wrong.  I was going for M-Y-N-X, but, well, you’ve seen her collar,_ ” he said with a little laugh, one that was enough to shake him off of the tightrope.

               He landed on his feet and bounced to the side.  Hesitantly, he approached the rope again and was about to climb back on when he changed his mind.  Sighing, he took a seat next to Eren in the shade and took a long drink from the water bottle that Eren offered him.  Eren thought he looked exhausted.

               “ _That had to have been two and a half minutes, at least,_ ” Eren commented, glancing at his friend and not down at the phone beside him to check the official time.

               “ _Yeah, but you heard them.  They want three,_ ” Armin countered, “ _Or they’ll return Minx._ ”

               “ _I thought she was your reward for completing your first show with no mistakes.  That was, what, a week and a half ago?  They can’t just take her back,_ ” Eren snapped.  “ _You did what they asked._ ”

               Armin sighed wearily. “ _I can do it...  They’re right, though.  I just need to focus more,_ ” Armin murmured, rising to his feet again.

               Eren knew that tone in Armin’s voice.  He felt guilty about something, probably that he hadn’t mastered this new skill yet, despite only being seven years old.  But it sounded like there was more to it than that.

               “ _What’s up, Arm?_ ” Eren asked, catching his hand as he tried to move back towards the rope.

               Sighing, Armin quietly admitted, “ _My parents told me that you were a distraction…  So I told them they were wrong…  They’ve been upset with me ever since…_ ”

               Eren could feel his blood boiling in every vein and artery in his body.  He’d been nothing but supportive of Armin, and, what’s worse, he thought very highly of the rest of the Arlelts.  He had always thought of them as his second family.

               “ _When did they tell you that?_ ” Eren hissed, dragging the fingers of his free hand along the body of his guitar, causing a squeak to break the otherwise quiet day.

               “ _Right after the show,_ ” Armin answered, lacing his fingers with Eren’s. 

               “ _And what was their reasoning?_ ” Eren demanded, squeezing Armin’s small, calloused hand.

               “ _You didn’t notice that I almost fell?_ ” he questioned meekly, though it sounded like he didn’t quite believe what he was saying himself.

               “ _Wait!  What?!?  I watched you the whole time!  You looked steady!_ ” Eren exclaimed, setting his guitar aside and rising to shaky feet beside his friend.

               The thought of him falling was absolutely sickening.  The Arlelt Traveling Circus was very highly regarded, and as such, they had to do more and more dangerous and complicated stunts to keep up with their competitors.  They also had to do away with more and more safety measures that had once been standard in such acts.  The first safety measure to go were the nets under the tightropes.  Eren remembers how sick he felt when he realized that Armin was stepping onto a tightrope twenty feet above him with absolutely no safety precautions to catch him if he fell.  He didn’t even have a custom harness made for him yet, not that that would have helped.  The Arlelts never used their harnesses on the high ropes.  They claimed it would break the illusion.  Besides, they claimed, they were professionals.  This fact didn’t make Eren feel any better about watching Armin perform high above him and the rest of their classmates.  Well, that was until Armin propped himself up in the middle of the wire on his hands, looked down into the crowd, and smiled brightly at Eren.  Captivated, Eren could barely figure out how to make his hands cooperate enough to give the other boy two thumbs up.  He looked perfect up there.  And excited too.

               “ _I’m glad you didn’t notice it then,_ ” Armin commented with a smile.  “ _I actually know you were watching when it happened too.  I wobbled a bit when I was looking through the crowd for you and the others when I was doing my handstand.”_

               Eren felt like a complete moron then.  He’d been so mesmerized by his best friend’s bright smile and ridiculously big, blue eyes that he’d missed the fact that he could have been in danger.  It was that moment that Eren realized just how dangerous Armin’s innocent, angelic appearance could be.

               “ _I’m sorry…_ ” Eren stuttered, releasing Armin’s hand and feeling painfully awkward.

               “ _For what?  I just said they were over-reacting.  I felt in control,_ ” he retorted stubbornly, putting his hand on Eren’s shoulder.

               “ _But what if—”_

 _“But nothing.  I’m fine.  Now, time me again,_ ” Armin interrupted with that bright grin of his, and Eren was helpless against it.

               Taking his seat against the tree once again, Eren watched, nervously now, as Armin hopped gracefully back onto his tightrope.  A moment later, he was on his hands again, and Eren started the timer on his phone.  He decided now was not the time to tell the boy that he’d actually exceeded five minutes the time before.

               As Eren again took his guitar into his lap, he thought back to Armin’s first public performance, a little over a week ago.  He’d been a late addition to the act, but his parents were obviously thrilled.  And so was the crowd.  Everyone had loved the family’s high wire act, especially Armin’s classmates.  Eren remembers seeing the captivated expressions on all of their faces just after the act, and the excitement remained as they all marched to Armin’s dressing room using Eren’s backstage pass.

               “ _You were amazing,_ ” Eren had exclaimed to the back of Armin’s head as he flung the door open.

               After a few moments filled with agreement from the rest of their friends, Armin spun around and beamed at them all, thanking them for coming and supporting him.  Again, Eren was so caught up in the delight plastered on Armin’s face that he hadn’t even notice that the boy was hiding something.  It’d been Jean who had pointed it out, just loud enough for Armin and Eren to hear over the excited chatter of their classmates.

               “ _Hey, Armin,_ ” Jean had cooed as he wrapped an arm around the kid and leaned towards his ear, “ _You okay?  You look like you’ve been crying._ ”

               It wasn’t until then that Eren noticed that Armin’s eyes and the skin around them were a pale red.  He hated that Jean had noticed it first, been brave enough to point it out, and had been rewarded by Armin clinging to him.  Jean needed to find his own best friend.

               “ _I’m okay, but thank you,_ ” was all Armin had whispered back as he pulled away from Jean’s embrace. 

               Another thing Eren was irritated that he hadn’t noticed was the reason Jean had embraced the kid with only one arm.  His other hand was occupied with a gift.  As Armin pulled back and looked up at Jean, he was greeted instead with a giant bouquet of at least two dozen brilliantly white roses.  Armin’s eyes widened as he accepted the flowers and beamed up at the boy who’d given them to him.

               “ _Thanks, Jean!_ ” he giggled.

               “ _It’s no big deal.  You earned them,_ ” Jean replied, scratching the back of his neck and diverting his eyes away from Armin’s pleased face.

               Eren did notice Jean open his mouth as if he was considering adding something, but, glancing at Eren, he promptly closed it and waved goodbye. 

               As the rest of their friends filed out of the dressing room, Eren glared at the pure white roses, now sitting on Armin’s dresser.  He was incredibly jealous that he hadn’t thought to get his best friend a congratulatory gift.  It was his first performance, after all, and Armin was going to remember that Horse-Face Kirschtein had gotten him an awesome gift but stupid Eren hadn’t gotten him anything.  That just wouldn’t do.

               So, when everyone else had left, Eren grabbed Armin’s hand, dragged him out to the parking lot, and forced him a bit too roughly onto the rack on the back of his bike that was added for the sole reason of biking around town with Armin.  After instructing the boy to hold on tight, Eren took off full-speed towards their favorite spot just outside of town where they watched the sun set into night.  Eren still hoped it was a suitable congratulatory present.

               “ _—much longer?  I know this is boring for you, but I feel like I’m almost done…”_ Armin was saying between pants.

               “ _What?  Shit.  That’s not—_ ” Eren mumbled stupidly as he scrambled for his phone, ripped out of his flashbacks to realize he was letting the real Armin down.  “ _You were done 37 seconds ago.  I’m sorry.”_

               Armin rolled so that he was back on his feet on the rope and shook out his hands.  He had a smile on his face, as usual, but his eyes betrayed him.

               “ _Thank goodness,_ ” he murmured.

               “ _Hey, Arm?_ ” Eren called.

               Armin looked up but didn’t say anything as he began walking between the two trees.

               “ _I’m sorry I spaced out,_ ” Eren stated, but realized this sounded just as bad as the action itself, so he decided to come clean.  “ _I was actually thinking about your first performance.  I was so scared when you first got up there, but you looked so confident and excited that I completely forgot my own fears.”_

               Armin smiled genuinely and nodded.  It was a small gesture, but Eren knew that he understood and wasn’t upset anymore, and that was all that mattered, even if Eren looked foolish.

               As Armin did laps between the two trees, letting his arms rest, Eren began plucking at his guitar again.  He’d been taking lessons for a few years now, but he still wasn’t very confident with his playing.  Despite this, he often played small little melodies for Armin while he practiced.  Neither really talked about why.  It was just routine now.  It was like how they’d often sing together.

               “ _~Duh duh duh-duh, duh-duh duh duh, duh duh duh-duh, duh-duh duh duh,~_ ” Armin began singing, and Eren immediately recognized it as the beginning of the new “Centuries” song he’d heard on the radio a few weeks ago.

               There was a pause not normally in the song as Armin finished the intro and looked up at Eren with a grin, seeing if he wanted to play along.  As Eren returned the enthusiasm with a smirk, he struck the first chord and continued to strum as Armin sang.

               “ _~Some legends are told.  Some turn to dust or to gold.  But you will remember me, remember me, for centuries.  And just one mistake is all it will take.  We’ll go down in history.  Remember me, for centuries,~_ ” he sang confidently as he began to bounce in a calculated rhythm on his tightrope.

               “ _~Hey.  Hey.  Hey,~_ ” Eren supplied as he played and watched Armin to see what he was up to.

               “ _~Remember me for centuries!~_ ” Armin sang just before he launched himself off the tightrope, flipped forward, and landed back on the rope, catching his balance a bit shakily.

               Eren was so shocked that he missed the next note and had to stop completely in favor of cheering properly, tossing his guitar to the side. 

               “ _When did you learn how to do flips?_ ” Eren exclaimed, jumping up once again.

               He marched over to where Armin was looking down at his feet on the rope, as if shocked himself.  Eren grabbed the boy by his waist and twirled him around before placing him on safe, solid ground.

               “ _I, uh, just now,_ ” he finally answered.

               The two boys had been silent for a few moments before bursting into uncontrollable laughter.  Armin doubled over and placed his hands on his knees to steady himself.  He was shaking with surprise, pride, and probably a little terror considering that could have just as easily gone completely wrong.

               “ _Maybe we should sing more often,_ ” suggested Eren.

               Armin nodded and smiled, and Eren realized half the reason he’d suggested it was because he just loved hearing Armin sing.  Maybe he wasn’t a distraction for Armin, but Armin sure was a distraction for him.  Then again, Eren wouldn’t have it any other way.

               “Sorry I’m late, Eren,” someone was saying while kicking Eren’s shoe, trying to wake him from his apparent slumber.

               As Eren opened his eyes, he saw that he was still clutching the picture of him and Armin kissing.  Blinking his eyes blearily, he looked up to see Mikasa looking down at him with concern etched into her normally blank face.

               “You okay?” she asked, sliding down the wall next to Eren to join him on the floor and look at the picture he was clutching.

               “No,” Eren laughed.

               Sighing, she stated, “Sorry I’m a little late.  I had to drive Jean home.”

               Looking up, Eren questioned, “Jean?  _He_ doesn’t have a ride of his own?  Wait.  What happened to that bike of his?”

               Eren very distinctly remembered Jean posting tons of pictures from his outrageously extravagant sixteenth birthday party, including many with him posing by his brand new, custom, black and electric blue motorcycle that he’d received from his parents.  He also distinctly remembered a picture of him flooring it down his private driveway with Armin sitting behind him, holding on for dear life.  When Eren had made a fuss of this to him, Armin had dismissed it, saying Jean had given everyone a ride, even Mikasa.  In fact, Armin had told Eren that Mikasa and Jean had gotten really close with Eren out of the way.  He’d even hinted that they’d started dating a few times.

               “It was unavailable,” Mikasa answered coolly.  “I’ve been giving him rides a lot lately, actually.”

               “Why can’t Marco give him rides home?  Aren’t they best friends?” Eren asked.  “And those extra car rides would be a great time for Marco to confess that he wanted to be something more with that moron.”

               “Jean’s not a bad guy, Eren,” Mikasa countered, getting up and walking towards the pile of unopened furniture boxes.

               “Sure.  Sure.  But just look at him.  Can you imagine having to look at **that** every single day?  And kiss it and stuff?  Yuck,” Eren gagged playfully.

               Mikasa wasn’t amused.

               “What?” Eren asked, seeing her serious expression as she sliced open a box.  “Did they finally hook up?”

               “I don’t think so,” she answered, examining the instructions for a moment before tossing them aside.

               “Good.  Because Marco deserves **way** better than Horse-Face,” Eren grinned but faltered again when Mikasa glared.

               “You know, I think Jean is v _ery_ happy with who he’s with now, and the person he’s with isn’t too unhappy with the arrangement either,” Mikasa snapped as she forced two pieces of the shelving unit together.

               Then it all clicked.  Mikasa and Jean _had_ started dating.  That’s why she was defending him.  That’s why she didn’t like him being called names.  That’s why she’d been driving him home, so they’d have an excuse to spend more time together.  Hell, maybe Jean drove Mikasa here on his bike.  However, Eren couldn’t believe that anyone, especially no-nonsense Mikasa, would put up with ever-arrogant Kirschtein.  What’s worse, she’d just implied that she was happy with him.  Maybe Eren should drop it, but that just wasn’t how he did things.

               “So _you_ and Jean are together then?” Eren asked, sifting through the box of pictures beside him.

               “Why would you say that?” she questioned dully, adding another shelf.

Eren figured he was right, hearing her words.  That was often Mikasa’s way of saying “Yes.”

               “Armin kept dropping hints,” he replied.

               Mikasa didn’t answer, just kept assembling.  Eren decided that if Mikasa was happy, he shouldn’t really have a problem with it.  Gently returning all of the pictures to the box, Eren got up and joined Mikasa across the room.

               “Sorry.  I’m glad you have a good relationship with him.  It wasn’t right of me to judge,” Eren said, sitting at her side.  “Besides, you’re right.  Kirschtein isn’t _that_ bad.”

               “I’m glad you agree.  You two were really close at one point, probably because you’re so similar.  I think that you two could…” Mikasa started but hesitated for a brief moment.  “I’d love it if you two could become friends again.  We’ve all missed having you here, Eren, even Jean.”

               Mikasa was looking at Eren now, almost expectantly.  Eren leaned forward and hugged the girl.

               “I’ve missed you all too,” he replied.

               “I’m… sorry about earlier.  I probably overreacted, but you know how I am with Armin.  I don’t want him to get hurt.  Then again, it’s you,” she murmured, leaning back to look at him.  “If anyone can help him, it’s you…”

               The look on her face felt like a punch in the gut.  Her words were cryptic but enough to cause Eren to panic.

               “Help him?  Help him with what?” Eren questioned a bit desperately, still dying for answers.

               “I… I can’t say,” Mikasa responded, looking out the window.

               Her eyes looked glazed over, like she was about to start crying.  Something was up.  Something bad was up.

               “Does this have to do with last night?” Eren asked, starting to put the pieces together from the previous night’s video chat.

               “I’m sorry, Eren, but I’m really not in a position to talk about this,” she dismissed, still not looking at him.

               “That’s fine.  I’ll just talk to him about it.  Umm, how about we talking about your life then?  What have you been up to since—”

               “You don’t understand, Eren.  I can’t talk about anything,” she interrupted.

               “I know.  I got it.  I just wanna know what _you’ve_ been up—”

               “I know that’s what you meant!  But I don’t think I can talk about any of that!” she exclaimed, looking back at him desperately.

               She reached up and wrapped her fingers around the red choker she’d received from Eren and Armin.  Did this outburst have to do with him too?

               “What?  Did Armin tell you not to talk to me at all?  That’s kinda harsh,” Eren murmured, not believing that kind-hearted Armin would ever try to keep friends apart.

               “Of course not.  He’d never…” she began but reconsidered again.  “Listen.  Armin lives a very complicated, calculated life, and the pieces that he shows to each of us are very different for some reason.”

               “Yeah?  Like how I’m the only person who didn’t know I wasn’t still dating him?” Eren asked bitterly.

               “Exactly.  There must be a reason,” she retorted.  “I trust him.  Don’t you?”

               Eren laughed pathetically before saying, “I sound like a complete moron saying that I still trust him considering that he’s been cheating on me for, what, three years now?”

               Mikasa placed her hand on Eren’s shoulder, gaining his complete attention.

               “Armin knows what he’s doing.  I want to believe that he’s doing all of this for a reason.  Considering he did something that could hurt you, someone he _does_ care about, there must have been a _really_ good reason for it,” she stated shakily.

               “Well, I can’t figure it out,” Eren whispered.

               Mikasa released her grip on Eren’s shoulder and slumped against the bookcase she’d finished building.  She looked utterly defeated, and Eren could tell by the look in her eyes that she was trying to convince Eren _and_ herself of her own words.

               “Me neither,” she agreed, “but he won’t let me know what’s really going on.  And more importantly, why…”

               “What’s he even up to?” Eren started asking, but was quickly silenced by Mikasa’s hopeless stare.

               “I can’t say,” she began.  Taking a breath, she added, “But…  It’s all pretty fucked up.”

               It was pretty hard for Eren to think of his little angel being roped into anything considered to be “pretty fucked up.”  He was way too sweet, way too innocent for that sort of thing.  And, what’s worse, he was way too young to be getting himself into trouble.

               “I’ll snap him out of… whatever he’s doing.  He’s got such a bright future.  After college, he’ll be able to do anything he wants, I’m sure.  He’s brilliant after all,” Eren grinned, trying to cheer up himself and Mikasa.

               “Yeah, but…  Armin’s not going to college,” Mikasa contradicted with a sigh.

               “What?  He’s the most intelligent of all of us!  He can’t just squander—”

               “Don’t you think I’ve tried telling him that?  Over and over?  I always figured that I’d follow him wherever he went to school, so I could keep an eye on him, but now…  Now I’m only applying to local colleges, so I can stay _here_ and watch him,” she confessed.

               “Mikasa, don’t let Armin hold you back.  Or me, for that matter.  Or Jean.  Or anyone.  You’re talented in your own right.  You need to go after your dreams,” Eren stated confidently.  “Hell, I went after mine, and they led me back here to you guys.  I’ll take care of Armin.  I’ll make sure he goes after his dreams too.”

               “That’s just it.  He doesn’t have any.  Not anymore,” she mumbled, running a finger over the new thread Armin had added last night.

               “Everyone has dreams.  Maybe he’s just too shy to share them,” Eren offered gently.

               It was obvious that Mikasa was hurting, thinking of the state that Armin’s life was in now.  It was also clear that she’d been looking for someone to vent to for a while.  Eren wondered why she didn’t talk to any of their classmates.  Was it some unspoken agreement between them?

               “Trust me.  He’s given them all up.  I mean, I should have known that back when he gave you up…” she stated wearily before adding, “Then again, I thought _you_ broke up with _him_.”

               “And you know now that that’s completely inaccurate.  I love him more now than ever,” Eren stated loudly, shamelessly, wishing everyone could hear his declaration.

               “Yes, but…  Does he love you back?” Mikasa questioned quietly.

               Eren hesitated for a moment.  He had no right to be talking about how someone _else_ felt, especially someone who had apparently been spreading lies about their relationship for years.  However, he still felt like he knew Armin.  More importantly, he loved Armin.  And he knew that Armin still loved him back.  Just last night, he’d blushed at Eren’s sweet words.  He may be scared of Eren, for some strange, unknown reason, but he still cared, hopefully a lot.

               “Yes.  I think he does.  I…  I know he does,” Eren added uncertainly.

               Mikasa nodded, probably also hoping that he was right.

               “I’m sorry, Eren, but I really need to head home and work on my lab report.  Maybe we can talk again tomorrow,” she said with a sad smile, rising and walking towards the door.

               “Thanks for coming.  Get home safely, okay?” Eren called with a wave as Mikasa stepped into the hallway outside his apartment.

               He was just about to close the door when he noticed that she was just standing there, looking at her feet, obviously considering something.  After a few moments of silence, Eren called for her attention.  She took a deep breath before looking over her shoulder at Eren with tear-filled eyes.

               “Are you sure he loves you?” she asked, her voice wavering, something Eren was not used to hearing.

               “I mean, I can’t be sure until I ask him, but…  I know he used to, which means there’s hope that he can again, and then—”

               “Are you sure he ever loved you?” Mikasa asked, more confidently this time.

               She no longer appeared on the verge of tears.  She looked bitter, angry, but not at Eren.  Maybe more **for** Eren.  It seemed like she knew something more, something that Eren probably didn’t want to know.  However, her words stung, stung bitterly, like knives being stabbed into and twisted around in Eren’s ribcage.  He was also sure he felt his heart being squeezed by a merciless, calloused hand.

               “Of course he loved me!  You were there!  You saw—” he screamed defensively, not even trying to hold back his emotion.

               “I know what I saw!  I know what I heard!  But—” she yelled back, but abruptly cut herself off.  “Nevermind…  Please excuse me…”

               Eren watched her through his own tear-filled eyes as she disappeared around a corner down the hallway.  He slammed the door much more loudly than was necessary and stormed back to his box of pictures.  One after another, he pulled them out and placed them on the bookshelf.  Finally, he reached the last picture in the box.  It was a self-portrait of himself and his little, golden-haired prince on their last night together.  Eren cradled the picture as he slumped down and cried himself to sleep, confused and absolutely heartbroken at the very thought of losing the only person he was certain he could never live without.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yeah, there will be a lot of singing laced throughout this story. Obviously I don't own the songs, but I'm normally a big fan of them, just like how I'm a big fan of these characters that I don't own! =)
> 
> Songs in this chapter:  
> "Centuries" by Fall Out Boy
> 
> ^So good! And such a great song to listen to while practicing for anything. =)


	5. The Second Day Back in Shiganshina (Part 1) and Memories of the Past (Part 3)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren's first real day of classes begins with a memory of his last night with Armin as well as three solid reasons why he's sure he's going to Hell some day. =)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the extreme delay in this update. This semester has been a crazy one. =)
> 
> Also, Happy Holidays! =)

               Eren had patted his jacket pocket, for self-assurance and a little courage, before letting himself into the Arlelt household.  He hadn’t knocked for years, considering it was basically his second home.  Besides, it was always pretty satisfying to sneak up behind Armin and pull him into a tight hug.  Eren figured this might be even truer now that they were dating, and he wanted to try it out.  However, to his dismay, it seemed like there was something up in the Arlelt home.

               Deciding to keep quiet, Eren headed towards the kitchen where he could hear the family talking.  Well, talking was an understatement.  They were arguing, though Eren wasn’t sure what they were arguing about, considering everyone was speaking German. 

               Hiding in a corner near the entrance to the kitchen, Eren listened, trying to pick up on any of the few words that Armin had taught him.  This had failed though because Eren was too distracted by the desperation in Armin’s voice to focus on deciphering the words he was choking out.  He also wasn’t too fond of the tone his parents, and especially his grandfather, were using towards him.

               Just as Eren was about to charge into the room and defend the kid, Armin came running out of the kitchen, his head bowed and his arms wrapped around his small body.  Reacting quickly, Eren reached out from his hiding spot and grabbed Armin, pulling him against his own body in the dark hiding place.  For a moment Armin looked overtly relieved that Eren was there.  As Eren used his thumbs to brush the tears from the boy’s face, Armin appeared to calm down slightly, even leaning into Eren.  After a few seconds, Eren gathered the courage to cup his boyfriend’s cheek and attempted to pull him in for a kiss.  However, like every other try, it failed and only succeeded in breaking the illusion of security that had apparently surrounded them before.  Armin pulled out of Eren’s embrace, glancing towards the entrance to the kitchen next to them.  A moment later, he was pulling Eren rather forcefully out the front door of his house.

               “ _Arm, what’s going on?  What was all that about?_ ” Eren managed to stutter, trying to get over the fact that he’d just been rejected for about the millionth time since the going away party that Jean had thrown for him about two weeks ago. 

               “ _Nothing,_ ” Armin answered, releasing Eren in favor of combing his fingers through his hair, though this only managed to call attention to the fact that he looked pretty roughed up.

               “ _We both know that wasn’t ‘nothing,’ Sweetie,_ ” Eren stated calmly.  “ _I’m here for you._ ”

               “ _Yeah…  Until tomorrow morning at 6:30…_ ” Armin countered sadly, looking at his shoes.

               “ _No.  I’m always going to be here for you,_ ” Eren corrected, stepping forward to embrace Armin once more and forcing him to look up with his free hand.

               For a moment, Armin seemed to believe him, but once again, that moment was gone when Armin glanced back towards the window of his home and pulled away. 

               “ _What did you want to do tonight?_ ” he asked, wrapping his arms around himself once again.

               Though Eren didn’t miss the obvious subject change, he wanted this night to go well.  Pushing him to talk about something he didn’t want to discuss wasn’t going to help either of them enjoy their last night together.  So, Eren decided to smile and move on with the evening he had planned for them.

               “ _I wanna take you somewhere, if that’s okay with you.  And…  I’d like to give you a little gift, one that will hopefully show you that you’ll always be in my heart, no matter where we are,_ ” Eren answered.

               Armin considered his answer before nodding.  He started walking towards Eren’s bicycle before pausing for a moment.  For a second, Eren thought he might have totally changed his mind about coming.  Maybe about everything.

               “ _Can you hang on for a moment?_ ” he asked as he turned back towards his house.

               Thinking back to what had just happened inside, Eren had caught him and asked, “ _Are you sure you’ll be okay?_ ”

               Armin had just nodded, ripped out of Eren’s grip, and run back inside.  Eren walked slowly back towards his bike, watching the house from a distance.  He was a little relieved when he saw Armin’s bedroom light switch on for a minute before switching off again.  A few seconds later, Armin emerged from his house, though unfortunately he hadn’t emerged alone.  As he tried to close the door behind him, his grandfather caught it and called something harsh after him in German.  Armin just kept walking towards Eren, this time looking more angry than upset.  As he plopped down behind Eren, he cut off his grandfather, though Eren had no clue what he had called back.  Whatever he said must not have gone over well with the old man because he answered by retreating back into the house and slamming the door.

               “ _Armin,_ ” Eren started but was cut off abruptly by his passenger.

               “ _Just go,_ ” he said, wrapping his arms around Eren.

               “ _But, Babe—”_ Eren tried again, turning around to look at him.

               “ _Please, Eren,_ ” he answered, burying his face in Eren’s jacket.

               Eren had decided to drop it and just listen for once, though he had to desperately suppress the urge to march into that house and yell at people he typically thought highly of.  As he pedaled towards their favorite spot on the edge of town, a quiet hill with a single, large tree at its peak, he felt Armin sobbing against him.  What could they have been talking about?

               “ _We’re here,_ ” Eren announced upon reaching the base of the hill.

               Armin released his hold on Eren’s jacket but made no move to get off the bike.  In an attempt to cheer him up and move the evening on to something happier, Eren scooped Armin up and carried him up the hill.  Despite his gentle protests, Armin didn’t fuss quite as much as normal, and halfway up the hill, he’d just given in and leaned against Eren.  Upon reaching the top, Eren gently sat down, still holding Armin, and just held him.  Neither of them spoke for a while.  It was Eren who had finally decided to break the silence.

               “ _I love you,_ ” Eren tried, running his fingers through Armin’s golden hair.

               Armin didn’t echo him.  In fact, he didn’t respond at all.  Eren could feel his heart breaking, wondering if he’d been right before, wondering if Armin really did regret the decision to try dating him.  However, just as he was about to suggest that they leave, Armin finally spoke up.

               “ _I love you too,_ ” he whispered.

               Swallowing hard, Eren added, “ _I hope you know that you mean the world to me._ ”

               Tears were streaming down each of their cheeks as the reality that this could be it was finally sinking in.

               After a few more seconds, Eren had the courage to continue with, “ _And I’d do anything for you._ ”

               After a pause, Armin answered, “ _Then stay._ ”

               “ _Wha— What?_ ” Eren stuttered, caught off guard.

               “ _Then stay.  If you love me, if you’d do anything for me, then stay.  Please…_ ” he clarified, hugging himself once again.

               “ _Armin…  Sweetie…  You know I can’t..._ ”

               “ _Why?  You can stay with me.  You can live with me.  We can be together all the time…_ ”

               It wasn’t like Armin to speak so irrationally.  He was always the voice of reason among the kids.  Something was seriously up because he appeared to be losing all of his self-control.  Even that look in his eyes was making Eren a little nervous.

               “ _You know I can’t._ ”

               “ _Then why am I asking you?_ ”

               “ _Be— Because you’re upset about something else…_ ”

               “ _Is that what you think?”_ Armin asked.  “ _Maybe you’re right…_ ”

               Eren wasn’t sure what to say.  Even as he had been telling the boy he couldn’t stay, he had tried to figure out if that was true.  If he could stay, he would.  In a heartbeat.  He’d do anything Armin asked, really.  Besides, he didn’t want to go to Stohess anyways…

               “ _I’m sorry, Eren.  I was being selfish_ ,” Armin was saying, trying to pull away.  “ _To be honest, I’m just scared…_ ”

               “ _Of what?_ ” Eren asked.

               Armin never answered his question.  Instead, he gently pushed Eren onto his back and laid down beside him, nuzzling into his chest.  The two laid beside each other in silence for hours as the sun set.  Somehow, it was still perfect, just being able to hold Armin for hours.  There was nothing Eren would change, except for the fact that he was _probably_ leaving tomorrow.

               Once the sun was gone, the cold winds came rolling in.  Eren felt Armin start to shiver against him.  Sitting up, Eren had removed his jacket and was about to give it to Armin when he realized that his gift was still in the jacket’s pocket.

               “ _Close your eyes,_ ” Eren requested gently.

               Armin looked at him, curiosity filling his blue eyes, but he complied.  He even put his hands over his eyes for good measure.  Eren thought it was adorable.

               “ _Okay.  Now give me your hand,_ ” Eren asked, a little more confidently.

               Armin lowered his right hand and held it out, palm up, for Eren, expecting him to place something in it.  Reaching for his outstretched hand, Eren gained another burst of courage.

               “ _Actually, can I have your other hand?_ ” he questioned, trying to still sound brave.

               Armin tilted his head, though he still didn’t open his eyes.  After a second of consideration, he had switched hands.  Eren reached for Armin’s small hand and gently rotated it so that his hand was resting palm down in his own hand.  Eren could see the confusion etched on the other boy’s face, though he still kept his eyes closed.  With a deep breath, Eren reached into his pocket and pulled out a small, black band.  Gently, he slid the band onto Armin’s left ring finger.  Instantly, Armin’s cheeks were bright red, and he didn’t need to be told that now he could open his eyes.

               “ _E— Eren?_ ” he stammered, cupping his own cheek as he examined the ring on his finger.

               Eren realized his face was probably just as red as Armin’s when he reached back into his pocket and pulled out a second ring.  As he slipped the matching band onto his own left ring finger, he grinned at the blushing Armin and tried to explain.

               “ _It’s— It’s a promise ring.  It’s a promise that no matter where I am, I’ll always be loyal to you.  Until we can be together again, this should let you know that I’m yours.  And hopefully, you’re mine,_ ” Eren stuttered, holding up the matching band.

               Armin looked between the two rings for a moment.  Finally he looked up at Eren, tears again threatening to spill from his beautiful eyes.

               “ _I mean, I know it’s pretty fast and all…  If you don’t want—_ ”

               “ _They’re wonderful, Eren.  You’re wonderful.  And… Of course I promise to wait for you.  I just can’t believe… you’re actually satisfied… with me,_ ” Armin admitted shakily.

               “ _Why wouldn’t I be satisfied with perfection?_ ” Eren asked proudly, confident that he had a cheesy grin plastered on his face.

               Armin laughed and wiped away his tears, beaming down at the rings.

               “ _I guess I wasn’t misinterpreting our relationship after all,_ ” Armin murmured, reaching into his own pocket for something. 

               “ _What are—_ ” Eren started but was cut off rather quickly.

               “ _Now you close your eyes, okay?_ ” Armin requested.

               Eren did as he was asked.  As soon as Armin was satisfied that Eren’s eyes were closed, and that he’d actually keep them closed, Eren heard Armin shift.  Much to Eren’s surprise, Armin had sat down again in Eren’s lap, but this time, the young boy straddled Eren.  He even wrapped his arms around Eren’s neck.

               Suddenly painfully nervous, Eren stiffened up, really confused as to where this was going.  He was also trying to tell his body that things were not going to go in the direction his lustful side was hoping.  He was too young for that.  Armin was _much_ too young for that.  Right?  _Right?_

               Before Eren could figure out whether or not he was supposed to be making a bold move or not, Armin announced with way too much innocence for this situation that Eren could open his eyes now.  And he did.  Eren was greeted with Armin’s beaming grin, a sign that the kid had no idea about the sexual turmoil Eren had just been experiencing.

               “ _So?  What do you think?_ ” Armin asked, his brilliantly blue eyes shimmering.

_About getting to have my way with you?  About getting to do all kinds of wonderful, naughty things to you?  About getting to hear you cry my name in ecstasy?  About getting to see your flushed face looking up at me as I—_

               “ _I know it isn’t much.  I guess I was going for more of a symbolic message.  I mean, it’s just a key to my house, but I want you to understand that— that you’re always welcome to come back home.  I’ll be waiting,_ ” Armin was saying, and Eren was sure that he was going to Hell for what he had just been thinking about the eleven-year-old in his lap.

               Eren quickly rushed to get caught up with the conversation and found that Armin had tied a beautiful, golden key around his neck.  He had grinned at the sweet gesture and pulled the boy in for a kiss as a means to thank him and hopefully suppress some of his own feelings.  Unfortunately, Armin deliberately turned his head, making Eren’s lips contact his rosy cheek instead of his lips.  Eren started to panic, wondering if Armin knew what he’d been thinking of a moment ago.  He was doomed.  However, his fears were put to rest when Armin spoke up.

               “ _I’m sorry…  I just… can’t,_ ” he stated, still looking away.

               “ _You keep saying that, Sweetheart, but… you seem like… you… love me…_ ” Eren murmured, sad and frustrated in more ways than one.

               “ _I do love you, Eren.  I just… can’t…  I’m sorry.  But please believe that I love you.  Please,_ ” he begged.

               Despite Eren’s better judgment, he had nodded and embraced the boy.  After a few moments, Armin began to sing.  Singing together had been something they’d done for years, and though Eren was sure the lyrics often didn’t mean much to Armin, their duets meant a lot to him.  He’d often tried to select songs that would force Armin to sing romantic lines back to him.  That was probably just another reason that Eren was sure he was going to Hell.  This time, however, Armin started it.  And he chose a song that Eren had always wanted to sing with him but figured he’d never hear sung back.

               “ _~I’ve dug up miles and miles of sand,~_ ” Armin began quietly, sadly.

               “ _~Searching for something I can’t see,~_ “ Eren answered, holding him.

               “ _~I’ve just got bruised and battered hands,~_ ” Armin continued.

               “ _~And a brand new void inside of me,~_ ” Eren echoed, reaching for his shaking hands.

               “ _~Complete with walls I did create~_ ”

               “ _~From all the earth that I’ve displaced~_ ”

               “ _~A mess that I have made from what~_ ”

               “~ _I’ve just let pile and pile up~_ ”

               “ _~I have not been abandoned; no I have not been deserted, and I have not been forgotten,~_ ” Armin sang.

               He sounded absolutely brokenhearted, yet Eren thought that the boy sounded even more angelic than ever.  Despite the fact that he appeared to be breaking down, Armin’s voice was as sweet and strong as ever.  Eren just squeezed him tighter as Armin continued.

               “ _~I need you.  I need you here.  I need you now.  I need security somehow,~_ ” he sang through his tears.

               “ _~I need you like you would not believe.  You’re the only thing I want, cause you’re everything, everything I need,~_ ” Eren finished, knowing that these particular words were much more true from himself than Armin. 

               Eren had been in love with his best friend for a long, long time, and the words he’d just sung were excruciatingly true.  Armin was his everything.  Though they’d only just started dating, Eren was certain that he was everything that Eren could ever want or need in his life.  He was perfect.  He was everything.  And honestly, Eren was wondering if there was a chance he could stay with Armin…

               “ _I’m going to miss you so much,_ ” Armin sobbed, releasing Eren’s hands in favor of clutching on to his shirt.

               Eren had used his now free hands to reach for his discarded jacket and wrap it around Armin, who responded by leaning forward and burying his face into Eren’s shoulder.  Eren had never seen him in such a vulnerable state.  Though most people saw Armin and assumed he was weak because of his size and age, they couldn’t be farther from the truth.  He was strong:  physically, mentally, and emotionally.  Even though Eren knew this, he too sometimes forgot just how strong Armin was and often jumped in to defend him when the assistance wasn’t even needed.

               “ _I’ll miss you more,_ ” Eren murmured into his hair.

               After a pause, Armin asked, “ _Since you can’t stay tomorrow, can you at least stay tonight?  I told Grandpa I wouldn’t be coming home tonight…_ ”

               Eren just nodded and laid back so that he was lying on the cold ground with Armin safely cradled on top of him.  It was a chilly night, but Armin seemed warm enough now with Eren’s jacket on top of him and Eren’s body head beneath him, and as long as Armin was comfortable, Eren could stay in this state forever.  In fact, he had much preferred it over the alternative that tomorrow was bringing.

               They laid together all night, occasionally whispering kind words to each other, but mostly just enjoying the peace of being together, undisturbed by anyone.  At one point, Eren must have dozed off because he was awakened to Armin’s smiling face, his hair glistening with the rising sun’s light.  Armin traced a finger along Eren’s face before bending down and giving him a quick kiss on the cheek.  Eren knew he had to be blushing because his face instantly started to heat up.

               Giggling, Armin rose to his feet and smiled down at him for a brief moment before looking away.  Standing himself, Eren saw that his friend now looked quite distressed.  The tears were starting to return as the two realized they were out of time.

               “ _It’s gonna be okay, Armin.  We’re gonna be okay.  I promise I’ll come back to you as soon as I can,_ ” Eren assured, pulling him into a hug before leading him down the hill to the discarded bicycle.

               “ _I know,_ ” Armin responded dejectedly.  “ _I just wish you didn’t have to leave at all._ ”

               They both hopped onto Eren’s bike and headed home at full speed, knowing they were both running late.  Turning the corner of their street, Eren saw his father pacing back and forth as his mother tried to calm him down.  They both looked worried, as did Mikasa and Jean who were obviously waiting to send Eren off too.  As he approached the driveway, Eren felt Armin curl up behind him, almost in an attempt to hide. 

               As he dismounted from his bike, Eren didn’t hear the words that his family or friends said.  All he could hear were Armin’s quiet sobs as he stepped backwards, making room for everyone else.  In fact, he couldn’t remember any of the words that Mikasa or Jean said as they hugged him and bid him farewell just before he climbed in the taxi that had been waiting for his return.  The only words that Eren remembered from those last few minutes in the neighborhood he’d grown up in were Armin’s, the pained ‘ _I love you._ ’ that he managed to choke out as he clung on to Eren one last time.  Eren considered trying for one last kiss but decided against it.

               As Eren reluctantly pulled away from Armin and climbed into the back of the taxi, he noticed Armin start to take off the bright green jacket that Eren had draped around him the night before.  Smiling, Eren had murmured a quiet ‘ _Keep it._ ’ just loud enough for Armin alone to hear.  He just nodded numbly and stepped into the grass beside Mikasa and Jean, still sniffling quietly.

               Eren waved and began to cry himself as the taxi backed out of the driveway and turned towards the airport.  He couldn’t take his eyes off of Armin, even when he was forced to turn around by his mother’s scolding.  Once Eren had turned around and buckled his seatbelt properly, he took one last look at Armin through the rearview mirror and was rather horrified to see Jean wrap his arm around the boy and pull him in for comfort.  It hurt even worse to see Armin cling to Jean and sob, knowing that stupid Kirschtein was going to be the one taking Eren’s place as Armin’s best friend in his absence.  That really, really sucked.

               “Fuck Jean,” Eren woke up murmuring, a bad taste in his mouth and an awful strain in his neck. 

               Noticing that morning’s light was now streaming through the windows he was sitting near, Eren realized that he had slept through the rest of yesterday and into the early morning, leaning against the same wall he’d slumped down against.  Still clutching the picture he had fallen asleep dreaming about, Eren rose to his feet and looked out the window.  It was clearly early, so he figured he’d take some extra time this morning to collect himself and make himself look presentable once again for his reunion with Armin.

               After setting the picture with the others on the shelves that Mikasa had built the day before, Eren grabbed a box full of toiletries and a towel, headed for his bathroom, and turned the shower to the hottest setting.  Maybe this way he could burn away the terrible feelings he was having.  Maybe the steam would feel the void that was starting to overwhelm his chest.

               Tossing aside his dirty clothes, Eren climbed in and let the hot water run over his aching body.  He was upset and stressed and hurting in more ways than one.  Running his now soap-covered hands down his chest and abdomen, he closed his eyes and let himself think of Armin.  He imagined Armin was there in that steamy shower with him, looking up at him with those innocent orbs of his.  He imagined Armin pressing his thin, pale body up against his own.  He imagined Armin standing on his toes, pining for his lips.  He imagined Armin kissing him passionately, his arms wrapped around Eren’s neck.  He imagined Armin pulling back, his cheeks flushed and his eyes dark.  He imagined Armin dropping to his knees before him and eagerly—

               Eren released himself, realizing that he couldn’t bring himself to finish that thought.  Not today.  He hated to admit how many times he’d relieved himself with dirty thoughts of his young friend, but then again, that was okay, right?  After all, in his mind, they’d been dating for four years now; though if Eren had to be honest, he’d been thinking of Armin in quite the sexual manner for a few years even before he’d gathered the courage to ask him out.  Another tally mark for why Eren was most definitely going to Hell.  But first, he swore he was going to enjoy a life here on Earth with his beloved Armin.

               Eren shut off the water, dried himself off, and dressed up in another nice button-up shirt.  Maybe he could impress Armin into talking to him.  As he munched through a bowl of cereal that desperately could use some milk that he didn’t have, Eren tried to figure out what to say to Armin.  It was probably best not to start out by asking about why in the world he’d taken off yesterday.  That was a conversation they could have later, if they got that far.

               Shouldering his backpack, Eren began to slowly make his way to school.  About halfway there, a car pulled up next to Eren and rolled down the front passenger window.

               “Want a ride, Jaeger?” came Jean’s irritating voice.

               He didn’t sound like he wanted the answer to be a yes, so why did he even bother?

               “Heh.  Not from you, Kirschtein,” Eren answered without even a glance to the side.  “I don’t need your help, especially after the confusing shit you were saying yesterday.”

               “Are you sure, Eren?” came Mikasa’s cool voice.  “You’re going to be late if you don’t hurry.”

               Eren glanced over to see that Mikasa was driving her SUV with Jean in the passenger’s seat.  The fact that they were an item now was still very weird to Eren, and he wasn’t quite sure he was ready to get used to it just yet.  Now it was obvious, though, that Jean hadn’t wanted to give Eren a ride at all.  Mikasa must have forced him to ask.  It was probably best that he didn’t get involved in that argument.

               “Nah.  I’ll jog the rest of the way.  I wouldn’t want to interrupt you two anyways,” Eren stated with a little smirk.

               Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Jean look over at Mikasa with a confused expression on his face.  She’d just shrugged in response and driven off.  Clearly Mikasa hadn’t warned him yet that Eren was aware of their status change.  As soon as they’d gotten a block down the road, Eren picked up his pace to a jog and was at school in no time.  He slid into his first class just as the bell rang.  He made a mental note to leave for class earlier in the future, at least until he got himself a car.

               Eren looked around the room of his advanced biology class and felt his heart sink when he didn’t spot Armin among his classmates.  He could have sworn they had first period together.  What’s worse is that the only open seat was next to the smirking, Horse-faced Kirschtein.  Great.

               “Ah, you must be Eren,” his teacher called from her desk at the front of the classroom.

               Eren just nodded dully.  He scanned the classroom one more time, just to be sure his eyes hadn’t deceived him.  Indeed, they hadn’t.

               “Well, it looks like Armin won’t be joining us today.  Please take a seat at his lab bench next to Jean.  I’ll have to find another chair for tomorrow,” she was saying as she started writing on the chalkboard.

               Reluctantly, Eren slid into the empty spot next to Jean and slapped his notebook down in front of himself on their shared lab desk.  Jean glanced up for a brief moment before looking back at his phone.  Eren pretended to be preparing his notebook for class, but really he was stealing peaks at Jean’s phone, trying to see who Jean was texting.  If he wasn’t mistaken, Jean had just sent a string of unanswered texts to none other than Armin.

               “Is this normal?” Eren whispered to Jean after realizing that he already knew the material that was being written on the board, thanks to his previous school.

               “Is what normal?” Jean asked, not looking away from his screen, despite the lack of new messages.

               “Armin not being here.  The teacher didn’t even seem to care,” Eren commented quietly.

               “Unfortunately, yes.  He has a bad habit of skipping,” Jean answered with a sigh, finally turning off his screen and setting his phone aside.

               “That’s so unlike him,” Eren murmured under his breath.  “I mean, I thought he liked school.”

               “It bores him now,” stated Jean who finally decided to take out his notebook.

               “Well, I mean, school’s no fun, but he can get in serious trouble for not coming, right?” Eren asked, glancing again in Jean’s direction.

               Jean’s notebook sat unopened in front of him.  He reached towards it, as if considering taking notes, but he decided against it.  Instead, he looked back at Eren, looking a little sad.

               “You’d think so, wouldn’t you?” he whispered with a little laugh.  “Truth is, he has a little agreement with the teachers and administration here.  So long as he shows up a few times a week and aces all of his tests, they don’t let the state know he’s skipping.  Keeps everyone out of trouble, I guess.”

               “Geez.  What’s he doing all day then?  I mean, I love a snow day as much as the next guy, but doing nothing every single day sounds—”

               “He’s working,” Jean interrupted quietly.

               “What?” Eren asked, confused.

               “He’s working.  When he’s not here, he’s working,” Jean repeated.

               “Working?” Eren asked, only realizing a moment too late that he’d let his voice rise a bit too much.

               “Eren, I know you just got back here, but would you mind socializing with Jean during lunch instead of during my class?” his teacher asked, a hand on her hip.

               “Sorry,” Eren muttered before dropping his head to resume taking notes over the material he already knew. 

               As he started copying down the contents of the chalkboard, he heard Jean snicker next to him.  Glancing over again, he saw that Jean was desperately trying to contain his giggles.  Sure, they had always given each other shit, but Jean and Eren had always been good friends.  Perhaps they still could be, even after all these years of silence.

               When the bell signaling the end of class rang, Jean actually waited for Eren as he went to collect his homework assignments from their teacher.  As Eren sheepishly joined him in the hallway, Jean finally let out the laughter he’d been holding in the entire class period.

               “Shut up.  You know I’ve never been very good at using my inside voice,” Eren laughed, walking towards his next class with Jean.

               “You can say that again.  You’re the loudest, most obnoxious person I’ve ever met.  I don’t know why someone like Armin ever agreed to go out with you.  Then again, he’s pretty much dating someone just as loud and obnoxious now,” Jean teased, laughing even harder.

               “So why’s it such a big secret who he’s dating now?” Eren asked bitterly, trying to swallow the hatred and betrayal those words held.

               Jean obviously sensed Eren’s silent agony because he changed the subject.

               “You know, it is nice to have you back here, Jaeger.  Things were a little too quiet without you around,” Jean stated with a smirk.

               Reiner, who happened to be walking by at just the right moment, let out a very pointed laugh at Jean’s words.

               “Shut up, Reiner!” Jean called after him before turning back to Eren.  “Pay no attention to him.  He’s just jealous.”

               “Jealous of what?” Eren questioned, now super curious.

               “I’m not jealous of anything or anyone,” Reiner called over his shoulder, “especially not you two losers!”

               “Jealous of what?” Eren repeated a little more eagerly.

               “We all know that’s not true, Reiner!  Denial never solved anything!” yelled Jean.

               “Jealous of what?” Eren asked again, now overflowing with curiosity, but his question was drowned out by Reiner’s boisterous laughter that filled the hallways.

               “I gotta run to history, Jaeger.  See ya at lunch,” Jean announced, turning on his heels and heading down an adjacent hallway, waving without looking back.

               Eren stood in the emptying hallway, still as confused as ever.  He looked down the hallway Jean had just gone down.  Then he looked down the hallway Reiner had just trotted down.

               “Jealous of what?!?” Eren loudly asked the empty corridor.

               “Mr. Jaeger, will you be joining us today?” his English teacher called from the open doorway next to him, a doorway that Eren hadn’t noticed before.

               Feeling excruciatingly dumb, Eren turned and answered with a defeated “Yes, sir.” before entering his next classroom and finding himself, again, taking Armin’s empty seat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Maybe Jean and Eren can be friends again! Maybe... =P
> 
> Also, I have 2000 words of another chapter written somewhat by accident. I almost added a very important plot point to this chapter, but I decided it was still too soon. I hope you all don't hate me for it. It's coming. It's coming, I swear. I also swear that I haven't given up on this fic, in case anyone cares. Haha. =)
> 
> As always, thanks for reading. Comments and kudos are always welcome if you have the time. =)
> 
> Edit: Oh my gosh! I almost forgot! This chapter features "I Need You" by Relient K. I love the Nightcore version of this song. It gives me feels. You all should check it out! =)


	6. The Second Day Back in Shiganshina (Part 2) and The Fourth Day Back in Shiganshina (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren gets more hints about what's been happening from Jean and Conny as well as an ominous warning from Annie. Unfortunately, it seems that something may be very, very wrong. =)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah... So this was meant to be updated on Christmas... But then life happened. Bad life. =(
> 
> Let's see. So, I completely changed the tempo of this story. I was gonna draw it out SO much more, but I missed Armin, so... Anyways... There's a lot happening in this chapter without a lot of time for you (or poor little Eren) to analyze, and I hope that's okay. There's a point for it. I swear. Either way, I hope you all enjoy it! Merry (very late) Christmas, and Happy (slightly early) New Year! =)
> 
> And one last note, I (hopefully) am pairing up with a very talented and beloved Attack on Titan fan artist to create some amazing comics to go along with this story, my other stories, and maybe some side stories. Teehee. I'll keep you all posted on that! =)

               Eren was certain that he’d entered some sort of weird time paradox considering each minute he spent staring at the clocks at the front of his classrooms felt like hours.  After he was certain he’d spent 57 hours in physics, the bell finally sounded, signaling the end of his fourth class period and the start of the wondrous freedom known as lunchtime.  Eren surged down the hallway towards the cafeteria, hoping to catch Jean and force some answers out of him.

               “Eren!  Wait up!” came a voice just as Eren was about to exit to the courtyard where he’d found his friends the day before.

               Trying to suppress a groan and throw on a cheerful face, Eren spun around to find Conny chasing him down the hall.  He was holding his bag awkwardly in his arms, and it looked as if he was about to drop the pile of paper and notebooks that were also clutched to his chest.  He seemed in quite the hurry to find Eren.

               “Did you need me?  I was just gonna grab some food.  Wanna join—”

               “Of course, man, but first,” Conny began, leaning towards Eren and lowering his voice, “have you seen Armin today?”

               Eren was caught off guard more by the way that Conny asked the question than the actual inquiry itself.  Hell, he wanted to know the answer himself.

               “Sorry, but I haven’t seen him today either.  Jean said he was probably at work or something, although—”

               “Conny, what have I told you about bothering people about this?” asked Jean, appearing out of nowhere and slapping his hand onto Conny’s shoulder, making him drop half of the things that he’d been clinging to.

               “Sorry…  I just figured Eren might—”

               “As if knowing _where_ he is would even help you.  If he isn’t ready, he isn’t ready.  Got it?  Now scram.  Eren and I have business to discuss,” Jean stated matter-of-factly, giving Conny a little push towards the door.

               Conny bent down and scooped up his belonging before shoving his way out of the building, presumably to collect his composure at the group’s table.  Eren just watched him go, looking defeated.

               “What was that all about?” he asked, looking at Jean who had started wandering towards the lunch line.

               “Nothing really.  Conny’s just nosing his way into things that don’t concern him,” Jean commented, grabbing a tray.

               “Sounded like he was just worried about where Armin was.  That doesn’t seem so bad,” Eren said, following after Jean with his own tray.

               “I guess that’s probably how it looks when you don’t hear that same question every day.  He assumes that every day that Armin doesn’t show up at school is a day that Armin is, how shall I say it, skimping out on him,” Jean commented, picking up a banana and examining it for bruises.

               “I mean, sounds like he’s ‘skimping out’ of school quite frequently.  I mean, don’t his parents care?” Eren questioned, blindly grabbing whatever was in front of him.

               “Throw his on my tab too,” Jean was telling the woman in charge of the cash register at the cafeteria’s exit.

               Eren was vaguely amused by Jean’s generosity of paying for his lunch, though it didn’t overshadow his much greater feeling of irritation for having yet another of his questions ignored.

               “Did you hear me?  I asked what Armin’s parents think of him skipping all the time?” Eren tried again, following Jean outside and sitting beside him at the table.

               Conny had finally put all of his school supplies into his backpack, which was now slung under the bench he was sitting at.  Eren noticed that Jean had sat down next to Mikasa, and their closeness still seemed so wrong.  Bertholdt appeared to be studying something with Annie, much to the annoyance of the oh-so-neglected Reiner.

               “Jean, did you—”

               “Yeah.  I heard you.  Just…  Can we drop it?  At least, for now?” Jean asked, not looking up from his tray of food.

               Mikasa must have noticed the tension because she leaned forward, giving Jean a concerned look and then a less compassionate look to Eren, probably assuming that he’d upset her boyfriend.

               “Umm…  I guess so…  Sorry,” Eren returned pathetically, realizing how needy he’d sounded.

               Luckily, Jean did him a favor and just laughed it off, commenting, “Nothing to apologize for, Jaeger.  I’d just rather discuss more enjoyable things over lunch.”

               Eren felt a little relieved by Jean’s actions, but his words still weren’t sitting well with Eren.  He’d have to sort them all out later.

               “Got something in mind?  When you were trying to shut Conny up, you mentioned a business proposition,” Eren snickered, earning a glare from Conny.

               “More like a business _strategy_ ,” Jean answered.  “A strategy whose success potentially hinges on you, Jaeger.”

               “You flatter me, Jean.  Alright.  I’m listening.  What’s the plan?” Eren played along.

               Jean wrapped his arm around Eren’s shoulders and exclaimed with excitement, “In three months.  You.  Me.  Champions!”

               Eren raised an eyebrow and asked, “Champions of?”

               “Football, of course!  Join up, rookie!  I need another good offensive weapon!” Jean yelled.

               “Nah.  What we need is a quarterback with a smaller ego,” Reiner commented from across the table with a snicker.

               “Watch yourself, Braun.  I’ll have you kicked—”

               “What?  Off the team?  Don’t make me laugh.  Without me to protect your blindside, you’d be spending half of every Friday night facedown.  And not in the enjoyable way,” Reiner challenged.

               “There’s an enjoyable way?” Eren commented, apparently to himself since no one seemed to be listening to him.

               “I’d do one better.  I’d have you kicked out of the Chemistry Club,” Jean stated, looking way too serious for the words he’d just said.

               Eren burst into laughter, assuming what he’d just heard was a joke, but he was quite confused when Reiner immediately went back to playing with his food, quietly.

               “Anyhow, where were we?  Oh yes.  The championships!” Jean exclaimed.  “So, we have practice every day after school and weight training before school on—”

               “Whoa.  Hang on.  I didn’t agree to join the team,” Eren interrupted.

               “Huh?  Why wouldn’t you?” Jean asked, sounding a tad irritated.

               “Umm, because I just got here, and I have a lot of things to figure out before I commit that much time to anything.  I mean, I should probably find a job so I can pay for a car.  And I need to get caught up in school.  And I need to figure out what’s up with… Armin…” Eren answered, trailing off at the end.

               “Well, I can help you out with all three of those things, especially if you agree to join up,” Jean stated, ruffling Eren’s hair with a grin.

               “I don’t see how committing that much time could possibly help me with—”

               “One:  money’s no problem for me and my boys.  Two:  if school’s a concern, I can arrange for the best tutor around to catch you up.  And three:  if you wanna find Armin, your luck will increase significantly if you’re on the field under those ‘Friday night lights,’” Jean said with a smirk.

               “Why in the world would that—”

               “No clue.  No one can ever find him consistently, except on Friday nights.  He comes to every game, home _and_ away.  He hasn’t missed one in the past three years,” Jean added.

               “That’s weird,” Eren murmured, more to himself than anyone else.

               “What’s weird about it?  Maybe he just likes watching awesome sporting events,” Jean retorted, tearing into his sandwich.

               “Yet that’s the _only_ time he shows up to _anything_ consistently?  I’m not buying it.  Sounds like he has some other motivation for coming,” Eren commented.

               “Paranoia setting in, Jaeger?” Jean laughed.  “Well, you in or not?”

               “I don’t know…  Can I think about it?” Eren asked while absent-mindedly twisting the band on his finger.

               Jean, looking annoyed, opened his mouth but promptly closed it when he noticed Eren’s actions.  Somehow, he found enough consideration inside himself to be courteous to Eren’s feelings.  Instead, he wrapped a comforting arm around Eren’s hunched shoulders.

               “Take your time,” he whispered.

               Eren was thrown off by the gesture, quickly whipping his head up to look at Jean.  He looked very serious all of a sudden.

               “So, Eren, how has your first day of classes been going?” Christa asked, taking her seat between the still distressed-looking Reiner and bored-looking Ymir.

               Eren forced himself to answer the seemingly never-ending onslaught of standard “first day back to school” questions that followed, but he was far too distracted with his own thoughts to put too much effort into each response.  His friends picked up on this fairly quickly and left him alone, hopefully understanding that Eren was still trying to get over the shock of certain things.  Eren tried to make sense of Jean’s hint about Armin’s strange tendency to always show up to every Titan football game.  It certainly seemed bizarre, yet Jean didn’t find it that abnormal.  Maybe he knew the real reason that Armin was always there.  Maybe he actually had some function on the team.  Or helped run the scoreboard or something.  Or maybe, just maybe, he was really just there to watch, though Eren was certain that if that was the answer to this mystery that there had to be a deeper layer to it.  Before he could figure out what it was though, lunch was over, and everyone was getting up to head back to class.  As he entered the school once more and headed towards his next class, Jean was once again at his side.

               “Jaeger, hold up,” Jean requested, motioning for Eren to join him out of the way of the other students.

               “What now?  I’ll give you a decision soon, okay?” Eren said, shoving his hands into his pockets.

               “It’s not about that.  Well, I guess it kind of is.  I wasn’t being entirely truthful with you.  There is one other time that I can guarantee you’ll see Armin,” he said, choosing to look across the hallway rather than directly at Eren.

               “And when is that?  I was planning on stopping by his house—”

               “I wouldn’t bother.  He won’t be there,” Jean dismissed.

               “Then I’ll just go later when he gets home from work,” Eren returned.

               “I still don’t think he’ll be there, but you’re welcome to give it a shot,” Jean said.

               “Fine then, smart guy.  What’s your suggestion?” Eren demanded, a little irritated now.

               “Look, I told you about the deal he has with the faculty, right?  How he just has to show up every once in a while and ace his tests?  Well, that’s when you can see him,” Jean stated, still looking across the hallway at the lockers on the other side.

               “I don’t…  Oh!  The English test on Thursday!” Eren exclaimed, putting the pieces together.  “So you think he’ll definitely be here then?  Is that what you’re saying?”

               “Exactly,” Jean answered, moving away from the lockers.  “That’s your best bet.”

               Jean started walking down the hall, not bothering to look back when Eren called after him.

               “Wait a sec!  Are you saying I shouldn’t even bother trying to find him until then?” Eren yelled, feeling frustrated and hopeless.

               “Sure am.  You’d just be wasting your time otherwise.  I suggest you spend the next couple of days trying to figure out what you wanna say to the kid because I doubt you’re gonna have more than a few seconds to make your case.  Based on how he looked the other day when he saw you and the shit you put him through several years ago, I highly doubt he’ll even speak to you,” Jean continued, walking down the hallway slowly, only to turn around and add, “Good luck though.  I hope you can get through to him…”

               Eren stood in the now empty hallway, stunned.  He couldn’t get past the fact that now multiple people had accused him of ending things with Armin years ago.  What could Armin stand to gain from spreading such rumors?  If he was really so unhappy with their relationship, then why didn’t he just end it?  But Eren was certain there was more to it than that.  Sure, the boy had been distant, but every once in a while, he’d see the kid he loved blush or look at him a bit too fondly.  Surely something was still there.

               Eren slunk into his next class, late.  Yet again, he was told to sit in Armin’s empty place.  This time, though, that place was next to Annie.  She glanced at Eren, looking a little more interested than normal, but barely.  Eren didn’t know too much about Annie besides the fact that she was almost always with Bertholdt and Reiner.  Other than that, she was a mystery. 

               Class drug on much like the others before it, but this one ended a little differently.  As Eren rose to his feet, shoving his things into his bag, he felt a hand grab his arm and give him a yank towards the back of emptying classroom.

               “What the Hell, Annie?” Eren yelled, tired of being dragged around by chicks.

               “You’re here for Armin, right?” Annie asked, only tightening her grip as Eren struggled to break free.

               “Let go!” Eren demanded, but his words meant nothing to Annie.

               With that usual stony look in her eyes, she continued, “You came back to protect him, right?”

               Eren was frustrated with all of this absurd talk, talk that suggested that his little angel’s life was in danger, but he knew that fighting it wasn’t going to help.  Annie was a girl of few words, and Eren was certain that she would never offer up an explanation if he started asking questions.  So, logically, he did the only thing that would guarantee that she would keep talking:  he decided to play along.

               “Yes.  Of course.  I’d do anything for him,” Eren answered, wincing in pain.

               He heard Annie take a sharp breath before delivering her ominous warning, “Then stay away from him.”

               She released her grip, grabbed her bag, and strode out of the empty classroom as if nothing strange had just occurred.  Was she seriously expecting Eren to just be okay with such a demand?  Was she seriously expecting him to stay far away from someone that apparently was in desperate need of his help?

               Or…

               Or was this all some fabricated lie?  Some fabricated game by Armin? 

               No.  Eren was certain that Armin would never do something like that to him.  Then again, he would have also sworn that Armin wouldn’t lie to him, yet it was obvious that something wasn’t adding up.  Eren wasn’t sure what was true and what was false, but he intended to get to the bottom of it as soon as possible.  However, as Eren trudged to his last class of the day, Jean’s words echoed through his mind, telling him to use his time efficiently, to make his few words count on Thursday.  Though it pained him to admit that Jean might be right, Eren decided to heed his words and plan accordingly.  He’d woo Armin into loving him again.  He’d make him admit whatever false stories he’d sewn and set the record straight.  And then they could be happy together.  Forever.

               So as he sat in his final class of the day and ignored the dull lecture about the Civil War that he’d heard a million times before, Eren scribbled out ideas for how he could win back Armin.  When he raced home that evening after school, turning down Jean’s offer to sit in on football practice, Eren continued his preparations.

               If you were to ask Eren what he did the next day in class, what he was supposed to have learned that day, he wouldn’t have the slightest clue.  His entire school day was spent scribbling out words meant only for Armin.  Jean watched Eren write then erase, write then erase again throughout their classes together.  Eren glanced his way a few times and noticed that he seemed slightly distressed, probably thanks to Eren’s frantic, borderline obsessive actions.  That being said, Eren couldn’t care less about what Jean had to think at this point.  Or anyone for that matter.  Even Mikasa’s texts about not getting his hopes up couldn’t deter Eren’s resolve or desperate sense of hope.  Whenever his resolution faltered that evening, Eren hummed himself a little song, a song that he often sang to himself when times were tough, when he was missing home, missing Armin.

               “~Lately, I’ve been, I’ve been losing sleep, dreaming about the things that we could be.  But Baby, I’ve been, I’ve been praying hard.  Said no more counting dollars.  We’ll be counting starts.~”

               It always reminded him how hard he’d worked to return to his beloved, how much he’d had to work and sacrifice to make it happen, but Eren was sure that it would all be worth it.  And when Thursday rolled around, Eren was sure he was ready.  He didn’t bother filling his backpack with school supplies other than a single spiral for paper and a single pencil to take his test.  Instead, he filled all of its pockets with trinkets to show his affection for Armin:  a package of his favorite candy that they used to share every time they had a sleep over, his little T-shirt that Eren had cuddled with every night since he left Shiganshina, the beginnings of a new song that Eren was writing for him.  The only remaining concern was what exactly he should say to him first.  Eren figured there were three little words that should always come before everything else.  He’d probably start it all off with those and see how it went.

               However, as Eren sat next to Jean and an empty chair that hadn’t been there until today while waiting for the bell that would signal the start of the first period, he began to fidget with the band on his finger when Armin didn’t appear.  When the bell sounded and he still hadn’t appeared, Eren whipped his head to look at Jean, concerned and, frankly, a bit angry for being lied to and having wasted a full day he could have been out looking for Armin or asking his parents why they were letting him skip school to work.

               “Chill,” Jean whispered.  “He’ll be here for the English test.  That doesn’t mean he’ll be here all day.  You’re gonna have to wait until next period.”

               Eren watched as Jean fiddled around with his phone.  He seemed distracted and irritated himself, and his apparent mood was starting to affect Eren.

               “Damn it…  I’m tired of waiting.  I wanna see him and steal him back from that bastard that stole him from me.  I just wish he’d show up of his own free will so we could figure all of this out,” Eren whispered back hopelessly.

               Jean clicked off his phone’s screen, looking angry, perhaps at something he had just read.  Eren hadn’t been paying attention this time.  He was too distracted.  After a few minutes of tense silence between them, as they both pretended to be listening to their teacher’s lecture, Jean finally spoke up.     

               “Not gonna happen.  If it were up to him, he’d never show up,” Jean mumbled, scooting his phone idly around the lab table.

               “Why do you say that?” Eren asked, already irritated, though the long school day had just started.  “He’s a good student, isn’t he?  He’ll—”

               “Yeah.  He is.  Which is why he doesn’t even _need_ to come to class.  And as long as you’re here, it’s even more likely than normal that he won’t.  So why don’t you just do us all a favor and go back to Stohess?” Jean interrupted sharply.

               “Jean!  Do you have something you’d like to share will all of us?  Or perhaps Principal Zackly?” their teacher asked, looking annoyed herself.

               Jean shut up and shook his head.  Eren took the opportunity to look over at him and smirk, but the pride quickly died when he saw that Jean was actually upset.  His eyes even looked red.  What in the world was that about?  Also, they’d been on such good terms two days ago.  Had something happened?

               The two didn’t have to interact during the entire class period because it was just another lecture day.  Eren tried to focus and take notes, but once he realized he had already covered this at his old school, his mind began to wander back to his plans for the day as well as Jean’s weird mood.

               When the bell rang, Eren quickly gathered his things and rushed towards his English classroom.  He took a seat, noticing that there was now an extra desk at the back of the classroom.  Maybe Jean was right after all.  Maybe his English teacher was expecting an extra student today. 

               Eren sifted through his bag as he anxiously waited for class to start and Armin to appear.  It didn’t really occur to him until then that he hadn’t studied for this test at all.  In fact, he didn’t even know what it was about.  A book?  Hopefully he’d read it.

               As he fidgeted, Conny watched him from a few seats away, though the desks between them were still empty.

               “What’cha doing?” Conny called.

               “Eh, nothing yet.  Just making sure I have something ready,” Eren answered absent-mindedly.

               “What kind of something?  Wouldn’t be the answers to the test, would it?” Conny asked.

               Eren just glared in response.

               “Help a brother out!” Conny whined.

               “I don’t have the answers!” Eren returned harshly, hoping for a little peace so he could collect his thoughts.

               “Looks like you’re up to no good, if you ask me,” Conny scoffed.  “Looks like you’re searching through your bag for drugs or something.”

               Taken aback from Conny’s seemingly-random accusation, Eren whipped his head up and sarcastically responded, “If you consider chocolates and love notes to be drugs.”

               “Ooooh!  Who’re they for?  I won’t tell!  I swear!” Conny squealed, leaning forward.

               “You know very well who they’re for,” Eren answered, zipping his bag closed, certain he’d have no more time to prepare before Armin appeared anyways.

               Conny pondered for a moment before raising his hands in defeat.

               “Hell, man!  I don’t know!  Tell me!” he finally admitted.

               “What do you mean?  Weren’t you asking me about Armin’s whereabouts yesterday because you thought we still had something going on?” Eren asked, confused.

               “Well, sure, but then Jean set me straight.  Guess I’d forgotten about all that stuff,” Conny stated with a shrug.

               “For the record, I have no idea what any of you weirdos are talking about because, yes, these are all for Armin because, yes, we are still a couple,” Eren said firmly.

               Conny looked at him blankly for a few seconds before he started to giggle and coughed out, “Whatever, dude.  It’s your life, though if that’s the case I could really use your help with—”

               Just then the bell sounded, and the last students took their seats, cutting off the strange conversation.  Though, this made Eren incredibly frustrated with Conny because that meant he’d missed Armin go by and, therefore, a chance to give him one of his presents.  Eren looked over his shoulder at the newly added desk and found, to his horror, that it still stood empty.  Jean was wrong.

               Eren turned around slowly in his desk and just laid his head down in defeat.  Closing his eyes, he tried to let his mind go blank, but this failed when his teacher slapped a blank test onto his desk.  Numbly, Eren took the test, luckily about a book he’d read last year.  After finishing early, Eren again returned his head to his desk and waited for the class to end.  He started to wonder if he should just head home afterwards, but he was sure that he, unlike Armin, would get in major trouble for skipping.  Or maybe he’d get lucky, and the people in charge at this school had just stopped caring and wouldn’t mind at all.

               Pulled out of his pondering by the bell, Eren slunk his way into the hallway, his backpack now feeling very heavy with meaningless gifts.  As he headed towards his next class, his mind buzzing with unanswered questions and multiple feelings of betrayal, he didn’t even hear a certain someone calling for his attention until he was slapped on the back by a hand.

               “How’d it go?” asked Jean, a grin now plastered on his face.

               Despite the fact that it looked genuine, Eren wasn’t buying it and shoved past him, not easily forgetting their earlier tiff.

               “Hey now!  Wait up!” Jean yelled, grabbing onto Eren’s shoulder and turning him around to face him.

               “Leave me alone!” Eren retaliated, angry for a million reasons, only a handful of which actually should have been directed at Jean himself.

               “Look.  I’m sorry about earlier.  I shouldn’t have lashed out like that.  Things have been rough lately,” Jean stated apologetically.

               Still not buying it, Eren retorted with, “Oh yeah?  Is that why you lied to me about Armin?”

               Jean looked confused and concerned.  He opened his mouth to speak but must have thought twice about it because he promptly closed it.  A few seconds later, he tried again.

               “What _exactly_ are you referring to, Jaeger?” he asked, and Eren noticed that his voice sounded almost threatening.

               Ignoring it, Eren answered simply, “He didn’t show.”

               Jean released his grip on Eren’s shoulder, but neither boy made a move to leave.  Jean looked sick but also paralyzed.  When he made no efforts to explain himself, Eren decided it was his time to force him to.

               “Why’d you lie to me?  Does he even go to this school anymore?  I trusted you—”

               “I’ve gotta go, Eren,” Jean interrupted, walking briskly past Eren and out the front doors of the school.

               But now Eren was pissed.  At everyone.  At everything.  So he followed Jean out of the school and into the parking lot, completely prepared to take his frustrations out on Jean’s stupid undercut, but Eren’s rage simmered down a bit as soon as he noticed Jean was on the phone and talking about some very important things on his way to the car.

               “—last night?  He’s a young teenager.”  A pause.  “Of course.  He’s got long, blond hair.  And blue eyes.  And—”  Another pause.  “Yeah!  That’s him!  Oh God…  Is he—” 

               Eren watched Jean wrap his free hand tightly around his stomach.  He really looked sick now.  Who was he talking to?

               “No.  No, please don’t call—”  Yet another pause.  “I— I know it looks bad—”

               Jean’s voice was becoming more and more desperate.

               “I’m on my way,” he finished, ending the call and shoving his phone in his pocket.

               Eren considered calling after him and asking what was going on, but he figured the best way he’d get answers was to hide in the shadows for now.  So he hung back.  Luckily, Jean was far too distracted to notice Eren’s terrible stealth abilities.  Both of their minds were racing.  Eren was no fool.  He knew who that conversation was about, and he knew that it hadn’t been a particularly good one either.

               Jean stopped in the middle of the parking lot, looking from side to side and shaking his head in defeat.  Eren noticed that his motorcycle wasn’t anywhere to be seen.  He must have gotten a ride with Mikasa again.  Eren watched as he walked over to Mikasa’s SUV and nervously pulled out his phone.  He typed frantically on the screen for a moment before shoving it back in his pocket and waiting.  Not even a minute later, Mikasa was storming across the parking lot to his side.  Jean looked at her, probably hoping for some help or comfort, but it seemed he was about to receive neither from her.

               Mikasa grabbed Jean’s jacket and threw him against the car beside her own, and Eren couldn’t help feeling sorry for the owner of the vehicle she’d just dented.  He tried to listen in to their words, but they didn’t make much sense to him.

               “You lied,” Mikasa was saying angrily, tightening her grip on his coat.

               Eren laughed mentally, finding it hilarious how much trouble Jean’s lies were getting him into.

               “I didn’t know,” Jean was denying.

               Again, Eren didn’t buy it, and the look on Mikasa’s face seemed to suggest that she didn’t either.

               “You promised,” Mikasa countered.

               Eren mentally told Mikasa not to trust horse-faced bastards like Jean.

               “I tried my best.  I didn’t know _this_ would happen again,” Jean returned desperately.

               “I should have never trusted you,” Mikasa practically screamed, shoving Jean against the car again.

               “I tried to stop him!  I always try to stop him!” Jean yelled, steadying himself and straightening his jacket.

               “Well, you didn’t try hard enough!  Now look what’s happened!” Mikasa retorted.

               “How is this my fault, exactly?  I didn’t do anything!” Jean argued.

               “Exactly!  You didn’t stop him yesterday!  You knew where he was going!” Mikasa shouted.

               “No, I didn’t!  He lied to me too!  He always lies about where he’s going!  In fact, I bet he’s been lying to me this whole fucking time!” Jean cried, letting his head slam against the unfortunate car he was still resting against.                 “He’s been lying to all of us…  Hell…  We all knew that from the start…”

               “Well, you better fix this before I end you,” Mikasa threatened, shoving her keys into Jean’s hands.  “And take Eren with you.  Maybe he can help Armin since you’re too incompetent.”

               Mikasa stormed back towards the school, glancing at Eren as she passed.  The look was full of angry, raw emotion but also, perhaps, a quiet plea for help.  Eren nodded at her, hoping it was clear that he intended to do everything thing he could, though he had no idea what in the world needed to be done yet.

               However, before he had even started walking towards her car, Jean had revved it up and was backing out.  Eren ran up to the passenger side door and banged on the window, yelling for his attention, but Jean just ignored him again, going against Mikasa’s order, and took off down the street.  Eren was left with no other alternative but to head back inside and wait for lunch.  Maybe there’d be an update on Armin’s whereabouts then.  After all, that’s what all of this was about, right?

               And so he waited.  Eren couldn’t care less what his teacher was talking about all hour.  In fact when he was called on to answer a question, he just shrugged and looked out the window, though he wasn’t very optimistic of seeing anything helpful out in that parking lot.  Much to his surprise, though, just before his third class of the day ended, Jean pulled back into the parking lot.  After sitting in Mikasa’s idling car for a minute or two, he finally switched it off and began walking towards the entrance.  Alone.

               When the bell rang not even a minute later, Eren dashed into the hallway, hoping to catch Jean and get an update before his next class.  Jean was further down the hall, walking away from Eren, likely heading to his next class.  On the way, though, Conny caught Jean’s arm and pulled him aside.  Eren had nothing better to do than to listen in and hope Conny could get some info out of the guy, so he pulled out his phone a little ways down the hall and tried to listen up.  Though Jean seemed a little calmer now, he still looked visually upset.  Surely he wouldn’t have come back without any new information though.

               “Hey, man.  Where’s Arm?  He’s supposed to be here today, right?” Conny asked enthusiastically.

               Eren still found it mind-blowing that the norm was for Armin to skip school.  He’d never mentioned anything like that before during their video chats at night.  And even if he hadn’t, why hadn’t Mikasa informed him.  She seemed quite concerned about his most recent absence.  Nothing was making sense.

               “I don’t know where he is today,” Jean answered, pushing past Conny, only to be followed by him down the hallway.

               “Seriously?  I mean, he skipped out early on Monday, and he hasn’t been here since.  The least he could—”

               “Just drop it,” Jean interrupted angrily.  “I don’t know where he is!”

               “Calm down, man.  I was just—” Conny tried to calmly interject.

               “Just what?  Just planning on demanding something from him?  He’s busy, I’m sure.”

               “Okay.  Okay.  It can wait, I guess, but—”

               “But what?  Your problems are more important than his?  Jeez, Conny.  I thought you cared about the kid,” Jean accused.

               “What?  I do!  I just know that—”

               “That the best way to find him is through me?” Jean asked loudly.

               Glancing towards the dumbfounded Eren who had now forgotten that he was supposed to be pretending to check his phone, Jean rolled his eyes and looked back towards Conny.

               “Look.  Just cuz I’m his best friend doesn’t mean that I know where he is 24/7.  Try asking Eren.  Maybe he knows.  Eren thinks he knows everything, after all,” Jean called, addressing both Conny and Eren.

               “Jean, chill.  I can see that—” Conny tried again.

               “See what?  That I don’t know where he is?  Great.  That’s what I said in the first place.  Now leave me alone,” Jean demanded, storming into his next classroom.

               Conny stood in the emptying hallway, stunned.  Eren joined him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

               “Forget Jean.  He’s just an asshole.  I don’t know what his problem is today.  First he’s pissed off at nothing.  Then he’s all friendly.  Now this.  And I was hoping to get some news about Armin from him too,” Eren said while giving Conny a little shake, trying to pull him out of his state of confusion.

               After a few seconds of silence, Conny turned to Eren and asked, “You thought that was Jean being an ‘asshole?’”

               “Umm, yeah?  What else could—”

               “He’s worried sick, Eren.  Considering what happened Monday, I can only assume you don’t know too much about what’s been going on around her, but let me assure you…  That isn’t normal Jean behavior,” Conny stated evenly.

               “He’s worried about Armin?” Eren asked.

               Eren thought back to the phone conversation Jean had had just before he left.  It sounded like Armin was in trouble.  Or even hurt.  However, Eren was desperately trying not to jump to conclusions.  He didn’t want to get too upset.  He had a nasty habit of acting up when his emotions ran wild, and they were threatening to.

               “Of course.  Armin keeps everyone at arm’s length, but Jean’s definitely the closest to him.  Something must be up,” Conny trailed off, sounding concerned.  “And you were expecting him to be here today too, right?”

               Nodding and trying to keep himself calm, Eren questioned, “Where could he possibly be?”

               “No clue.  I’ve been trying to talk to him for nearly a week and a half now, but he keeps avoiding me,” Conny said, walking towards the classroom Jean had just entered.

               “Is that normal?” Eren asked as they sat down near the back of the classroom.

               Jean was near the front, looking out the window.  Maybe he was hoping to see Armin come strolling across the school grounds.  Eren wouldn’t mind seeing that either.

               “Man, you really are out of the loop, huh?” Conny laughed just as the bell rang.

               Eren was desperate to find out more from him, especially since Jean had been so useless with intel, but he was shushed by Conny when he tried to speak up.  Apparently this teacher had a reputation for giving out undeserved detentions, and Conny was in no mood to miss another football practice.

               When the bell signaling the end of class rang, Conny claimed he couldn’t talk just yet because he had to go ‘warn’ Reiner that Armin wasn’t at school today.  This, of course, just made Eren wonder why Reiner so desperately needed to know this fact.  Just as he was about to dash out of the room, Conny turned back to yell at Eren.

               “Find me after you get your food.  We’ll chat during lunch,” he called with a wave.

               Conny had always been one of Eren’s closest friends, probably coming right behind Armin, Mikasa, and, dare he say it, Jean.  Surely he’d be interested in helping Eren out.

               As he strolled through the lunch line and only selected a bottle of water due to his lack of appetite, Eren desperately wished he knew things that people were clearly hiding from him.  It seemed unfair, considering Eren hadn’t done anything to deserve this negative treatment.  He’d just gotten back after all.  Everyone should want to catch him up.

               After paying for the water, Eren rushed to the typical table outside.  Of course, he was the first to arrive, so he just decided to wait patiently.  Well, as patiently as a concerned-about-his-lover-and-oh-so-desperate-for-even-one-measly-answer Eren could manage. 

               Sasha was the first to join him.  She had two completely full trays, piled high with probably three of every type of food served in the school’s cafeteria.  Trying to cheer up, Eren laughed and greeted her, just happy that some things hadn’t changed.  A few minutes later, after Sasha had scarfed down about half of her feast, Conny joined them.  Eren waved him over with a grin, and he plopped down between the two already sitting at the table.

               “Where’s your food, Eren?” Conny asked.  “Don’t tell me you have a thing for skipping meals too?”

               “A thing for…?  Are you talking about Armin again?” Eren asked, concern laced in his voice.

               Eren remembered how Armin only had an apple on his tray the other day.  He didn’t like the idea of him not taking proper care of himself.

               Conny leaned over and whispered, “Well, don’t tell him I told ya or anything, but he doesn’t eat much.  I mean, he never buys food from the cafeteria or brings anything from home.”

               “And you all are okay with that?” Eren asked bitterly.

               “Of course not,” Conny assured.  “That’s why we always try to give him snacks to eat.  We can never get him to have much more than a piece of fruit though.  I don’t like it…”

               “Me neither,” agreed Eren, feeling upset for not being here to help.

               “He always claims he isn’t hungry,” Conny added.  “I keep expecting him to wither away to nothing one day, but thankfully, that’s not what’s happening.”

               “Hmm?” Eren asked, stealing a French fry from Conny’s tray after watching Sasha do the same.

               “Physically, he looks better than ever,” Conny stated, and Eren didn’t miss the embarrassed blush that crept onto his face.  “I mean, umm, that he looks stronger than ever.  He’s not that weak little kid anymore.”

               “He was never weak,” Eren commented and was happy to see Conny nod in agreement.

               Eren thought back to his Skype conversations to see if he could remember any physical changes over the years.  He realized rather abruptly that he’d hardly seen much of Armin these past three years.  He only ever showed his face when they chatted, and he normally had the lights turned down quite a bit.  What’s worse, he always wore his hair up in a ponytail or a bun.  Eren wondered how long his hair was considering he hadn’t seen it down for years.  Closing his eyes, he tried to remember Armin’s appearance from Monday, despite how brief the glimpse.  Much to his dismay, Eren couldn’t remember much.  He’d been too distracted by the look of horror in his angel’s eyes.

               “How’re things going?” Bertholdt was asking, apparently having taken a seat across the table with Reiner while Eren was spaced out.

               “Fine, I guess, though I’m just as confused as ever,” Eren admitted.

               “About Armin?” Bertholdt asked quietly.

               Eren just nodded.

               “Don’t worry about ‘Min.  He’s a strong kid,” Reiner chimed in between giant bites of his titan-sized sandwich.

               Eren found the little pet name a little interesting, but Reiner had always been overtly friendly with everyone.  It was probably nothing to worry about.

               “I know he is.  That’s why I’m not a complete and total mess right now,” Eren stated.  “That being said, seeing the way that Jean’s been acting all day isn’t really helping…”

               “Jean’s just overreacting, I’m sure.  We all know he’s a bit of a drama queen,” Reiner insisted.

               “I’m not overreacting,” Jean countered, suddenly appearing behind them with his own tray of food.  “Not this time.”

               Eren noticed Mikasa was at his side and that she didn’t look quite as angry as before.  Shifting his gaze across the table, Eren watched Reiner’s face morph from playful delight to absolutely sick in a few short moments.

               “Again?” he asked plainly.

               Jean just nodded.  Eren was completely lost, the new usual, it seemed.

               “What’s going on?” he tried to ask.

               “Practice is cancelled tonight,” Jean stated harshly.

               “What about tomorrow’s game?” Ymir asked, taking a seat.

               She’d missed the previous conversation; otherwise, Jean’s reply would have been much less forgiving.

               “You all are ready.  We all know The Brigade has been having a bad year so this game should be cake.  There are more important things that need our attention right now,” Jean answered.

               Ymir looked around, noticing the worried expressions on the faces of her friends, and offered, “I’m with you.  I’ve got my car if you need it.”

               “Same,” added Reiner.

               “What’s the plan?” Marco asked, pushing aside his food.

               “We go find Armin.  I think he might be in serious trouble,” Jean answered.

               Mikasa looked from Jean to Eren.  She seemed incredibly upset, and Eren could see the guilt written on her face as she reached up to stroke the red choker around her neck.  Clearly she felt responsible for not keeping him safe.  Meanwhile, the rest of the table was standing up and pulling out their keys.

               “Split up.  You all know where to look.  We’ll find him, just like last time,” Jean added, but Eren didn’t miss his voice waver.

               Mikasa pulled on Jean’s sleeve and nodded towards Eren.  She slipped him her keys again as Jean nodded in return.

               “Looks like you’re with me, Jaeger.  I guess I can fill you in while we head downtown,” Jean stated, looking at him expectantly.

               Eren nodded and followed him to Mikasa’s car.  On the way, Annie glanced over at Eren and shook her head, reminding Eren of her warning.  However, she climbed into a car too and joined the hunt.  Was she blaming him for this?

               Eren watched as Reiner and Bertholdt, Ymir and Christa, Conny and Sasha, and Marco, Mikasa, and Annie all pulled out of the parking lot, apparently heading in different directions.  Eren was really, really, really concerned about the fact that this had happened before, but he found a pinch of solace in the fact that all of his friends were so willing to leave school in the middle of the day to hunt for Armin.  It gave him hope.

               Jean turned on the car and took a deep breath before backing up and turning out of the parking lot.  Both of his hands were gripping the wheel tightly, and Eren could tell that he too was trying to keep his anxiety down.  But he’d been through this before, apparently; Eren had not, and he found himself pressing his nails into his skin in some strange attempt to keep himself from exploding with worry and frustration.  Somehow, though, he knew they were going to find Armin, but as the search began, one question still remained—

               In what state would Armin be in when they did find him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's showing up in the next chapter?!? And guess who's boyfriend is finally getting revealed (maybe)?!? Haha! =)
> 
> As always, comments and kudos are always appreciated and motivating. Thank you! =)
> 
> Edit: Oh duh. And this chapter finally features "Counting Stars" by OneRepublic. As will other chapters... =)


	7. The Fourth Day Back in Shiganshina (Part 2) and Memories of the Past (Part 4)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren, Jean, and the gang search for Armin. And find him. =)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *moans about not getting to the scene I really, really, really, really wanted to put in this update and is the reason that I haven't posted forever* =(  
> I hope you all enjoy this long update. I'm really sorry about the delay. *whines about college* Feedback, questions, comments, and kudos are always appreciated. *hugs to anyone who reads* -Pei =)
> 
> Edit: Why does this site make it so hard to properly indent the beginning of each paragraph? I always have to go back and do it manually after pasting my work in from Word. =(

               “ _Hey, Eren?_ ” Armin had called quietly from his place on the back of Eren’s bicycle.

               “ _What’s up, Sweetie Pie?_ ” Eren cooed over his shoulder, happy to hear Armin speaking after he’d seemingly sworn himself to silence since setting out for the park.

               “ _It’s just…  There’s something I don’t understand,_ ” he admitted hesitantly.

               In Eren’s mind, there weren’t many things that Armin didn’t know, and the fact that he was opening up for some advice or clarity was a bit surprising.  All the same, it made Eren happy to know that perhaps the strange wall that had come between them since the going-away party two days ago may finally be coming down.  Eren slowed his pace on his bike, realizing that they were nearing the park perhaps a little too soon, before Armin was ready.

               “ _What might that be?_ ” Eren asked calmly, trying to safely look over his shoulder and catch a glimpse of Armin’s expression.

               This effort failed however, and Eren’s only clue as to how Armin was feeling was the heavy sigh that came a moment later.  Mentally, Eren warned himself that he should be bracing himself for something bad.  Maybe Armin had changed his mind after all.  Maybe he didn’t like this new set-up.  Maybe he hated it.

               “ _I just don’t understand… what’s so wrong… with us,_ ” he finally admitted, sounding sheepish for even saying the words.

               Eren wasn’t sure what to say because he knew that there, of course, was nothing wrong with their relationship and that anyone who said otherwise was just jealous.  He was about to open his mouth and say just that before Armin continued quietly.

               “ _I mean, I understand very well that change and diversity can be scary things, but rationally, these things are also necessary parts of life.  Just think.  If we were all the same, the world would never make any progress.  For example, we probably wouldn’t have even invented the wheel without someone breaking the norm.  And since that’s the case, shouldn’t we, as a society, be encouraging variety instead of suppressing it?  It only makes sense…_ ”

               Armin fell silent again after that, and Eren’s mind was trying to process his words while not sliding down the steep hill they were traversing then.  Once he was sure they were past the tricky part, Eren had leaned back and nuzzled Armin’s head.

               “ _Where is this all coming from?_ ” Eren questioned, genuinely worried about how upset Armin sounded.

               After a brief delay, Armin admitted, “ _Just…  People have been talking…_ ”

               “ _Who?_ ” Eren demanded, ready to tear apart anyone who’d caused his boyfriend to worry.

               “ _I really don’t wanna play that game, Eren,_ ” Armin answered flatly.  “ _That won’t solve anything._ ”

               “ _I’ll be able to tear apart whoever’s been telling you these lies!_ ” Eren retorted.

               “ _They aren’t lies.  You know very well that the Bible says that—_ ”

               “ _Oh please don’t start that religious argument with me.  I’ve had it a million times with my mom, and I’ve finally gotten her to come around.  Let me talk to—_ ”

               “ _You told your mother?!?_ ” Armin squeaked, jumping off of the bicycle that was still in motion, forcing Eren to slam on his brakes.

               Eren noticed that Armin had been only a few inches away from falling off of the steep mountainside they were currently stopped on.  Once he’d calm himself from the near heart attack he’d just had, Eren ditched his bike and chased after Armin.

               “ _Woah!  Hey!  Slow down!  What’s the problem here, Arm?_ ” Eren called, reaching for Armin’s hand.

               “ _You told your mom!  I specifically asked—”_

               “ _She’s known I’ve had a crush on you for years, Cupcake,_ ” Eren countered, caressing Armin’s cheek tenderly.

               Eren noticed that Armin’s cheeks turned pink from the sweet nickname and pinker still from the gentle touch.

               “ _And?_ ” he asked.  “ _She doesn’t think I’m a monster for corrupting you?_ ”

               “ _Wha…?  Where the Hell would you get an idea like that?  You know very well that my mom loves you!  She won’t shut up sometimes about what a great influence you are on me.  Secretly, I think she wants me to dye my hair blond and be you,_ ” Eren assured him with a laugh.

               Eren was certain that the laugh that escaped Armin’s lips was forced, but honestly, it had seemed better than nothing at the time.

               “ _How could I forget?  Thanks, Eren,_ ” he stated evenly, walking past Eren and towards the park that was only a few hundred yards away now.

               Eren wasn’t sure if he should keep pushing the issue or just drop it.  They both seemed like terrible options.  So, he decided to just follow Armin and see how things went.  However, he didn’t have to get far to realize that their talk wasn’t quite over.  Armin had stopped dead in his tracks, staring at their gathering of friends not far ahead.

               “ _What’s the matter?_ ” Eren asked, catching up with his bike in tow.

               “ _N— Nothing,_ ” Armin lied.

               “ _Just tell me.  You can trust me,_ ” Eren insisted.

               He reached his free hand out for Armin’s shoulder, but the kid just pulled away by taking a step backwards.

               “ _I just…  Well…  Bert said that Reiner wasn’t gonna be here today…_ ” he finally answered.

               Eren looked over at their typical group of friends.  It would have seemed weird to him if Reiner _hadn’t_ been there.

               “ _What about him?_ ” Eren started asking, but then, everything clicked.  “ _Wait!  He’s the one who was telling you all of that bullshit?!?_ ”

               Armin didn’t answer, but he didn’t need to for Eren to know that he was on the right track.

               “ _Well, I’ll set him straight right-fucking-now!_ ” Eren cried, stomping towards the bigger boy who was laughing at something.

               Now that Eren was determined to end Reiner’s worthless life, he had to admit that the fact that that guy was _always_ laughing loudly and obnoxiously at basically nothing was getting pretty old.  And the fact that he had such an insane height and weight advantage during these games was yet another tally against him.  However, the _worst_ offence was, of course, the fact that he was constantly hitting on Armin. 

               Whipping around to face Armin again, Eren pointed out the contradiction, “ _But that lug is fucking smitten by you!_ ”

               Armin raised an eyebrow before hesitantly closing the distance between them.

               “ _Reiner said something… else,_ ” he conceded.  “ _But it isn’t important now.  Let’s just play._ ”

               Eren looked over his shoulder and glared menacingly at Reiner before looking back at Armin with concern.

               “ _But now I wanna rip him in half,_ ” Eren whined.

               Armin laughed despite himself and smiled at Eren’s concern.

               “ _Really, though, it’s no big deal.  I’m just overreacting.  I swear.  You can give Reiner a lesson by beating him today,_ ” Armin compromised, heading towards the sidelines of their makeshift field.

               Eren’s new resolution was to beat Reiner so badly that he ran crying home to his mother.  However, his resolve had grown as some preplanned, malicious scheme commenced in front of him.

               Conny came strolling over from where he’d been talking to Reiner and struck up a typical pre-game conversation with Eren.  Things started to get strange when Jean signaled over Armin to where he was standing near Reiner and Bertholdt.  Hesitantly, Armin made his way over, choosing to stand closer to Jean than the other two boys.  Eren didn’t like the look on Reiner’s face so he stomped on over to the semi-circle forming around his boyfriend, ignoring the pleas from Conny.  Eren didn’t approve of the conversation he’d been overhearing.

               “ _So, do you like playing baseball, Armin?  You do, right?  What’s your favorite position to play?_ ” Reiner was asking, trying to hide the growing smirk on his face.

               Armin looked confused.  Eren saw his eyes flick from Reiner’s face to Bertholdt’s then Jean’s and, finally, to the football clearly resting next to them on the ground.

               “ _Seems like an irrelevant question considering the game we’re playing today,_ ” Armin answered honestly.

               Eren really didn’t like where this conversation seemed to be going, and he figured that Armin was too young to know about the innuendos the older boys were probably getting at.  However, as soon as he barged into the circle to pull Armin away, Reiner grabbed onto his shoulder, holding him in place.

               “ _You’re asking the wrong question, Reiner.  You’ve gotta give the kid the specific choice,_ ” Jean laughed, adding to the awkward situation.

               Eren shot visual daggers at him, hoping that his look properly conveyed his disappointment with the other boy.  Normally, Jean wouldn’t get caught up in this bullying shit.  Glancing around, Eren found the exact reason that Jean was now so compliant to Reiner’s scheme:  empty beer cans strewn across the grass just behind the boys.

               “ _Shut the fuck up, Jean.  And, Reiner, you better let me go before I make you regret opening your mouth in the first place,_ ” Eren threatened but was shocked when a second set of hands, Bertholdt’s, joined Reiner’s in restraining him.

               Armin looked around at all of them, concerned but too frightened to speak up.  He’d been in this situation before, and Eren doubted the boy was wanting to, or _expecting_ to, relive those horrific after-school encounters with people he considered to be his _friends_.

               “ _You have three seconds to—_ ” Eren started but was abruptly cut off by some sort of gym towel being used as an impromptu gag to silence him.

               “ _Pardon Eren’s poor manners, Armin.  And pardon my poorly-phrased questions,_ ” Reiner continued, despite Eren’s frantic thrashing.

               Eren was strong, really strong, for a boy his size, but he was hardly a match for Reiner or Bertholdt, and his odds were exponentially more dismal against both of them.

               “ _Do you prefer pitching or catching, Armin?_ ” Reiner asked, punctuating it with a smug grin of triumph.

               Armin swallowed hard and looked at Eren for help, but Eren was too busy struggling to offer any assistance.

               “ _I don’t… understand…  What’s that have to do with… anything…?_ ” Armin was asking helplessly as he took a shaky step backwards.

               For a second, Eren thought the boy might flee into the woods that lined the park.  And then what would these drunken preteens do?  Turn their tormenting of a young Armin into something more violent against an outnumbered Eren?

               “ _Come now, Armin.  You’re smart, right?  Just pretend you’re ‘playing’ with Eren.  Then which do you prefer?_ ” Reiner clarified, and Eren was convinced that he saw the older boy lick his lips as he craned to glare up at his captors.

               “ _Well, we don’t often… play… base…_ ” Armin began explaining before he stopped mid-word.

               Eren watched with concern as Armin’s eyes showed that he had finally registered just what was being asked of him.  He expected the young boy to take off and get away from the situation.  In fact, that’s what Eren wanted him to do.  However, Armin shocked everyone with his next actions.  And words.

               “ _I’m sorry for misunderstanding before,_ ” he began, a devious smirk twisting his sweet features into something much more… seductive.  “ _You’re asking how I like things when Eren fucks me.  Is that it?_ ”

               Reiner’s eyes opened wide, seemingly stunned by Armin’s new forwardness with the topic.  As he spoke, Armin began to slowly stroll towards the boys, his movements deliberate and calculated and his eyes pinned on Reiner the entire time.  Gracefully, he began slipping their hands off of Eren as he continued to distract them with his risqué answer.

               “ _Unfortunately, Eren hasn’t seized the honor of stealing away my virginity just yet.  But when he does, you can be sure that I’ll do whatever it takes to make him happy.  So really, it’s up to him,_ ” Armin whispered into Reiner’s ear as he pulled the gag from Eren’s mouth.

               Though he was now free to speak and end this out-of-character conversation, Eren was way too distracted by arousal to form a coherent sentence.  So he just sat back and let his boyfriend continue.

               “ _That being said, I think you and I are both very aware of where he’d like me to be,_ ” Armin continued, slipping his hand into Eren’s and pulling their bodies together.  “ _I imagine it’s the same place **you’d** want me, if you could have me.  Too bad that’s never going to happen._ ”

               Armin finished the conversation by nuzzling into the crook of Eren’s neck and rolling his hips in a way that caused Eren’s heart to skip a beat.  Where in the world had this eleven-year-old learned to move like that and, furthermore, use lust as a very, very, **very** effective distraction?  He was just a child.

               That being said, Eren couldn’t care less about Armin’s age as the younger boy pulled him away from the crowd of astonished observers.  In fact, his vision had started going fuzzy as he fixated his eyes on Armin’s little ass as they exited the scene.  The boy leaned over very deliberately and grabbed Eren’s bike with his free hand.  With one last scornful glance over his shoulder, he scoffed and strutted back the way he’d come, with a dumbfounded Eren in tow.

               As they ascended the hill they’d descended only a few minutes before, Eren’s mind was racing with questions of morality and smutty images he couldn’t suppress.  Glancing side to side, Eren looked for a suitable place to shove Armin down and take him.  He was running out of time, after all.  He’d better do it before he left for Stohess.  Then those bastards would know not to touch him while they were apart.

               Finally seeing a suitable grassy area just ahead of them, surrounded by a semi-circle of trees for privacy, Eren made up his mind that it was okay, that this was what Armin would want, that at this point he wasn’t sure if he cared what Armin wanted.  Despite this, he’d be careful.  He’d been reading up on how these things worked for years by this point, and what’s more, he was prepared.  Eren began reaching towards the little bag attached to his bike where, in a hidden compartment, he’d hidden everything he knew he’d need for this moment.  He’d better hurry since they were only a few feet away from the perfect location now, and—

               “ _Sorry about that,_ ” Armin murmured, squeezing Eren’s hand and pulling him just slightly out of his crazed fantasizing.

               “ _Wait.  It…  And.  No…_ ” Eren answered stupidly.

               Armin halted his march back towards home and spun around to look at Eren.  It wasn’t until he saw the hurt and confused look on Armin’s face that Eren realized he hadn’t actually formed a coherent thought.

               “ _What I mean is…  For what?_ ” he managed with great difficulty, still attempting to unzip the little bag of essentials, trying to will his straining body to be patient.

               “ _For the vile things I said.  And I shouldn’t have brought you into it.  I just… wanted to shut Reiner up…_ ” Armin admitted with a sigh.

               “ _Don’t apologize.  It was fucking hot,_ ” Eren insisted, ripping the bicycle he’d been struggling with out of Armin’s grasp and releasing his hand too.

               Sighing, Armin added, “ _Well, that just makes things worse._ ”

               Eren, now entirely pissed at his bicycle for cock-blocking him, threw it on the ground and straddled it, attempting to rip open his bag by force, certain now that the jammed zipper would never cooperate for him again.

               “ _Why.  Would.  You.  Say.  That?_ ” Eren asked between desperate, furious yanks.

               Armin, who had been watching this strange behavior from a safe distance, approached and knelt at his side.  He caught Eren’s flailing hands and moved them aside before, miraculously, unzipping the stubborn bag with no trouble at all.  Surely that proved it.  Armin was certainly not of this world, but an angel sent to protect and guide Eren.  However, that sweet mental image was not exactly helping to fuel Eren’s once-raging boner.  With a huff, Eren gave up his hunger for the boy.  Armin seemed pretty upset.

               “ _It just proves that Reiner was right after all…_ ” Armin admitted, taking a seat and leaning back to stare up at the canopy of branches and leaves above them.

               “ _About what?  I told you, he’s wrong about there being something wrong with us.  Besides, you saw his lust as clearly as I did.  He wanted you,_ ” Eren countered, joining Armin on the ground.

               “ _He didn’t say there was anything wrong with… us…  Or even… me…  It’s just…  I didn’t like what he… called me.  But I guess he was pretty spot-on,_ ” he continued, closing his eyes in defeat.

               “ _What did he call you?_ ” Eren asked, wrapping an arm around his shoulders, pulling him into a hug.

               Eren was certain that they had stayed in that embrace for a full five minutes before Armin gained the confidence to admit what was bothering him.

               “ _He called me a whore,_ ” Armin confessed, shaking his head before turning slightly to burying it in Eren’s chest.

               Eren had been overcome with rage, and when Eren was full of rage he normally exploded into lofty rants or, less often, just fumed silently.  This was one of those rare latter occasions because he had no idea what to say about such a ridiculous accusation.  Everyone knew it wasn’t true.  In fact, Armin was pretty much the darling of the 104th.  Maybe that fact was the reason that others wanted to sling mud at him.  Who would have thought that it’d be Reiner, though, who couldn’t handle not being the prettiest kid in class?  Instinctively, Eren had just clung onto Armin and pulled him even closer in some futile attempt to protect him from all the monsters in the world.  Well, until Armin let him know that he was being suffocated.

               “ _Eren,_ ” he coughed desperately, _“shouldn’t you be choking Reiner, not me?_ ”

               “ _Sorry!_ ” Eren plead, loosening his grip but refusing to let go completely.

               “ _It’s okay.  I probably deserve it,_ ” he added.

               “ _The only thing you deserve is to be treated like the prince that everyone knows you are.  Even Reiner.  He’s just jealous,_ ” Eren assured, giving Armin a kiss on the crown of his head.

               “ _What’s there to be jealous of?_ ” Armin asked, laughing at the absurdity of Eren’s words.

               “ _Umm, did you see the instant boners you gave all of us?  I’m pretty sure that should speak for itself,_ ” Eren stated, trying to conceal his blush and suppress the memories of earlier for a more appropriate time.  “ _Come on.  Let’s go watch a movie or something at my house.  I need some cuddle and snuggle time with my Cupcake._ ”

               Armin stood, and Eren was happy to see that he had a small smile pulling at the corners of his mouth.  He’d feel better soon.

               “ _On one condition,_ ” Armin bargained, extending his hand to Eren.

               Taking it, Eren perked an eyebrow and asked, “ _And that condition would be?_ ”

               “ _No trying anything under the blankets this time,_ ” Armin warned, and Eren knew he was being serious:  he wasn’t going to get lucky today.

 

               Downtown Shiganshina looked just the same to Eren as it had when he last saw it four years ago.  It was a cluster of tightly packed, upscale building ranging from over-priced dining establishments to premier clothing boutiques.  At the center of it all, though, towered the fifteen-story—

               “What the Hell happened to the Survey Corps building?!?” Eren exclaimed, seeing the already impressively tall building climbing three, maybe four times higher than he remembered.

               “Oh yeah.  I guess you haven’t seen the new expansion, huh?  It’s, umm, 57 stories tall now, I think.  Something like that,” Jean commented, glancing in the building’s direction before looking away in disgust, perhaps because of the sheer opulence of it.

               “Expansion?  Quadrupling the size is hardly my definition of an “expansion!”  How in the world did they afford to throw that thing up in the time I’ve been gone?” Eren marveled, leaning against the window in an attempt to see the ornate top of the skyscraper.

               Not only had the building grown in size, it had grown in its extravagance.  Eren noticed that some things hadn’t changed, like the company’s logo, which resembled a pair of wings, positioned a few stories up the building’s side or the fact that the first floor was still a luxurious restaurant, but everything else looked so much more expensive.  Marble columns.  Gold-plated trim.  Just looking at it all was making Eren’s wallet ache.

               “You know, I never questioned it much as a kid, but I never understood why the first floor of one of the country’s top pharmaceutical company’s headquarters was a five-star restaurant.  Seriously?  It just seems so random,” Eren mused, spotting the sign for the nightly specials.  “Wall Maria, was it?”

               “If I had to wager a guess, I’d say that the CEO was bored.  He wanted a way to entertain himself,” Jean stated, shaking his head as he said it.

               “I’m surprised he even sticks around.  With the insane amounts of cash he has, I’m shocked that he hasn’t moved off to some privately-owned island or something.  How’s your dad even competing with him still?” Eren asked, looking perpendicularly down the other street that bordered the massive tower.

               He noticed a shop that had just been changing ownership when he left years ago.  If he remembered correctly, it was a little coffee shop.  Maybe a café.  Or was it a tea shop?  Either way, it looked pathetically small sitting in the shadow of the Survey Corps skyscraper.

               “Well, don’t you remember?  At the same time your family moved, Dad sent the majority of his staff out to Stohess too.  He down-sized his lab and just kept a few researchers around, hoping to finish up his current experiment before he moved us out there,” Jean stated.

               “Something must have happened, considering you’re still here,” Eren guessed.

               He was only partially paying attention to the story because he was trying to figure out whether the pony-tailed, goggle-wearing individual who had just crossed the street from the little shop to the imposing skyscraper was a male or a female. 

               “He was so close to finishing up the last rounds of testing for that new method of treating Alzheimer’s,” Jean started.

               “You mean the one that my dad and him collaborated on?” Eren asked.

               “Yeah, well, things took a turn for the worse when your dad abandoned the project four years ago.  Kirschtein Corp was so close…” Jean mumbled, somewhat bitterly.

               “What happened?” Eren probed.

               “Well, about a year after you all left, everything flopped.  All the new tests seemed to no longer be returning consistent results.  It made no sense.  It still makes no sense.  Dad’s been trying to pick up the pieces since then,” Jean continued.

               Shaking his head, Eren asked, “So that’s why you all gave up on coming out to Stohess?”

               “Shouldn’t you know all of this, Eren?  The rest of Dad’s research team in Stohess now work for Jaeger Co.  How have you not heard about any of this?” Jean snapped.

               “How can I hear about this sort of thing from someone who’s never around?” Eren questioned quietly, looking at the Survey Corps tower in the side mirror.

               Sure, Eren’s number one reason for returning to Shiganshina was Armin, but the fact that there was little reason to stay in Stohess certainly didn’t hurt.  He hardly saw his father, and his mother, though she was a kind woman, was always telling him to stop dreaming.  She wanted him to be practical, start learning the family business, and start living his life in Stohess instead of yearning to return to Shiganshina.  While Carla Jaeger truly meant the best for Eren, something he was aware of, he still refused to accept it.  He wasn’t willing to let go of the past that he clung to so dearly.  Eren tried to block out these resurfacing feelings as an awkward silence fell between the two boys.  After a minute or so, Jean pulled to the curb and stopped.

               “Sorry.  It’s just been several rough years for a lot of people…” he apologized.  “We’re pretty lucky.  The company still has the market cornered on a few new drugs that the Survey Corps isn’t pursuing yet, so it isn’t all bad.”  
               Grinning and punching Jean in the arm, Eren added, “Yeah.  You still look like a spoiled, rich kid to me.  Your family must still be doing pretty damn well.”

               “Can’t complain too much.  We took a hit, but things are improving.  Though…” Jean started but trailed off.

               “Though?” Eren pried.

               “Though Dad has been acting pretty stressed out recently.  I don’t know what’s up just yet.  Hopefully it’s nothing,” he answered.

               “Well, I’m here if you ever need to vent, okay?” Eren offered with a grin.

               Jean just laughed.

               “You know that park up ahead?  I want you to check for Armin in that vicinity,” he suggested.

               Eren looked towards where Jean had just glanced.  He knew the big grassy area that Jean was referring to, but it struck him suddenly as to why that was the best location to check.

               “Because it’s right by the hospital?” Eren asked nervously.

               Jean didn’t answer.  He was checking something on his phone.

               “Is that who you were talking to earlier?  Was he there?  Is he hurt?” Eren questioned desperately.

               “Yes, yes, and yes,” Jean answered.  “But he took off before I could get there.  Sounded like he patched himself up and hacked their system so they wouldn’t realize until it was too late that he’d bolted.”

               “Patched himself…?  Hacked their…?  I don’t understand.  What the Hell has Armin gotten himself into?” Eren exclaimed.

               “It’s not for me to say,” Jean answered while stepping out of the car, “but I’m sure you’ll find out soon enough.”

               “What about you?  Where are you going to look?” Eren asked, getting out and slamming the door rather harshly behind himself.

               “I have a few contacts around here that might know something,” Jean replied.

               Eren didn’t trust Jean too much at this point, and he was getting pretty irritated with being kept in the dark.

               “Then I’ll come too,” Eren stated.

               “We’re more likely to find him if we split up.  Can’t you tell by now?  If he figures out that we’re trying to find him, he’ll just run and be even harder to track down.  Just hurry up and check ahead,” Jean commanded, starting to walk in the other direction.

               Eren didn’t bother arguing.  He just decided to do as he was told and look for his missing boyfriend.  However, he didn't get too far from the car before Jean called after him with a warning.

               “One more thing.  If you _do_ find him, call me first.  Don’t try to approach him,” Jean cautioned.

               “And why the Hell would I do that?  If he’s hurt, I’m going to help him,” Eren growled back.

               “Because you’re just gonna make things worse, Jaeger.  He doesn’t want to be around you.  Just…  For _his_ sake, call me,” Jean clarified before spinning back around and turning down the street with the little shop adjacent to the Survey Corps building.

               “The fuck is his problem…?” Eren grumbled under his breath, heading down the building-lined street towards the park ahead.

               As he walked, he looked up and down each branching street, searching for his lost love.  He also noted all the changes that had occurred since he left.  As he passed the hospital where Armin had apparently been at some point recently, Eren couldn’t help feeling a since of dread come over him.  All of this wasn’t sitting well with him.  After finishing a quick glance through the side windows of the pink hospital building, Eren turned his attention back to the massive square mile park that lay before him.

               Shiganshina Central Park was crisscrossed with bike and walking trails.  It was speckled with rolling hills, large clusters of trees, gorgeous fountains, and park benches.  Eren remembered spending many summer days romping with his friends here.  During the winter time, they would come here to ice skate on the temporary rink that was set up during the colder months.

               Glancing around, Eren was just beginning to formulate a plan that would allow him to look through the entire park, since some areas weren’t visible where he currently stood thanks to the immense tree patches, but he realized abruptly that there was no need.  Sitting on the outer edge of a large marble fountain, near the center of the open space, was exactly the person he was looking for.

               Armin Arlelt appeared to be looking at his reflection in the fountain behind himself.  Eren watched as his fingers nimbly swept his hair into a messy ponytail behind his head.  Even with his golden locks pulled up, they still managed to sweep partway down his back, indicating just how long he’d let it grow.  Eren became overwhelmed with thoughts of the boy in front of him.  What did he look like with his hair down?  What would it feel like to run his fingers through those lovely golden locks?  What would they look like spread across a pillow and tangled with sweat as Eren—

               No. Now wasn’t the time for that.  Armin was, most likely, hurt, and he needed to be brought home.  Or to a hospital.  Or something.  Honestly, Eren didn’t know what the plan was.  Were Jean and him just going to kidnap the boy?

               Not wanting to waste any time, Eren began marching towards Armin who was still looking the other way.  However, not more than a few steps onto the nearest pathway, Eren remembered Jean’s threat.  Though he really didn’t want to believe the validity of Jean’s claim, Eren decided now wasn’t the time to argue, especially when he saw Armin clutching his chest and wincing in pain.  Something was indeed wrong, and the last thing Eren wanted was for Armin to feel the need to run away from help.

               Upon dialing Jean’s number and waiting for him to pick up, Eren noticed a dark-haired man strolling across the park, in Armin’s direction.  Snickering, Eren couldn’t help but mentally laugh at the sharp juxtaposition between the man’s serious demeanor and his rather unimposing size.  He looked hardly over five feet tall, and yet his hair, his attire, the very way he carried himself suggested that he was not someone to be messed with.  As Eren continued to wait for Jean, he hoped the black-haired man’s path was a coincidence, but it soon became very clear that this man had business he wanted to discuss with Eren’s injured prince.

               Standing before Armin and crossing his arms unpleasantly, the man seemed to call for Armin’s attention.  Armin looked his way and answered him, but this action seemed to irritate whatever injury the boy had.  The man showed no sympathy for this fact, however, and instead grinned and leaned down, seemingly mocking the boy.  It was then that Jean answered the phone.

               “Eren?  Eren?  Did you find him?” Jean’s voice was asking, but Eren was much too distracted by the disturbing scene unfolding before him to respond or even notice.

               As soon as the man brought a hand up to caress Armin’s cheek, Eren knew he wasn’t going to be waiting for Jean.  Shoving his phone back into his pocket, Eren took off, sprinting towards the man harassing a defenseless, injured Armin.

               “Get your filthy hands off of him, you bastard!” Eren screamed, charging towards the two.

               Without thinking the situation through at all, he dove head-first at the man, ripping his hand away from Armin and slamming to the ground on top of him.  Instantly, Eren’s hands wrapped around the man’s throat, as if by instinct.  And he squeezed.

               “Stop,” Armin stated firmly, though his voice sounded farther away than Eren had expected.

               Upon looking away from the pervert’s steely eyes, he saw that Armin had bolted a little ways down the path and was looking back at the two men on the ground.  He looked more upset than before.  Why wasn’t he happy to be away from this creep?  Why didn’t he seem relieved in the slightest?

               “But he shouldn’t—” Eren began yelling.

               “Not you,” Armin clarified verbally towards Eren, though his gaze was fixed on the man underneath him.

               Eren watched as Armin reached down to a small pocket on the side of his slim, black pants and pulled out what looked to be a thin knife.  He held it tightly and took a shaky breath, continuing to stare at the man.

               Eren didn’t understand.  Wasn’t he winning?  It wasn’t until he felt the cold steel of a blade on his neck that Eren realized that he was in a much worse position than his adversary.

               “Don’t hurt him,” Armin warned.

               Though his eyes showed a slight glint of fear, overall he looked calm and focused, as if the situation didn’t really bother him that much.  As Eren slowly released his grip on the man’s throat and raised his hands in surrender, he wondered if Armin would care at all if this really was the end of him.  But as Eren watched Armin staring down the man with the knife while holding his chest as if he was still in pain, he began to realize just how little he knew about this boy in front of him.  Maybe he did still care.  Maybe he didn’t.  But one thing Eren knew was that he was fucking sure he wasn’t going to die until he found out.  So he made an attempt to grab the man’s hand that held the knife.  Unfortunately for Eren, this backfired horribly, and he somehow ended up facedown against the cobblestones, with the blade now pressed to the nape of his neck.

               “Ah.  It seems that Armin here is fond of you,” the man whispered sharply in his ear.

               “Enough of this,” came Armin’s voice, steady as ever though Eren was struggling to flip himself in such a way that he could see if Armin’s expression showed the same lack of emotion that permeated his voice.

               “How do you even fucking know him?” Eren growled.

               He continued to struggle, despite the coolness of the blade on his neck.  Perhaps it was the fact that this smaller, scrawny-looking man had him pinned that was pissing Eren off the most.

               “I’m his employer.  I was just concerned about his well-being,” the man responded coolly.  “And what about you?  Who are you to him?  A concerned classmate?  A worried friend?  A neglected client?”

               “Just let him go.  You already know who he is,” Armin answered cryptically, considering Eren was pretty sure he’d never met this guy.

               “Do I?  Well, maybe I just need to have my memory refreshed,” the man stated, increasing the pressure on Eren’s neck.

               “I’m Eren.  Eren Jaeger.  And Armin is my boyfriend, so you’d better fucking keep your hands to yourself!” Eren responded fiercely.

               “Oh?  Is that so?  Well, that’s interesting,” the man answered, and Eren could hear him start to chuckle.

               “Just stop.  We had an agreement,” Armin called with a little more force this time, making Eren wonder if he should have just kept his mouth shut.

               “Well, the fact that he’s _here_ cancels out the agreement, does it not?” the man questioned, pressing the blade harder against Eren’s neck.

               “That’s not _his_ fault.  I’ll take care of this.  Just let him go,” Armin continued, and Eren, finally able to direct his gaze where he wanted to, could see the boy tighten his grip around the little knife in his hand.

               “Sorry, Armin, but I don’t negotiate.  A deal is a deal,” the man said, and as he said it, the blade was removed from Eren’s neck.

               There was a flurry of quick movements and yelling, and it took Eren a few moments after it had all occurred to process the information.  All he knew is that he was no longer pinned under the man with the steely grey eyes and that Armin was yelling at him to run as he started to take off in the opposite direction.  Eren looked over his shoulder at the man, who was swearing and clutching the side of his arm where he appeared to be bleeding.  Beside the two of them, Eren saw the small knife Armin had been holding.  The one he must have just thrown.  It appeared that Armin had purposely nicked the man in an attempt to get him to release Eren.  Impressed that it had worked, Eren quickly lunged forward, grabbed the knife, and took off after Armin.

               “Armin!  Wait!” Eren yelled, sprinting in the direction he’d seen the boy run.

               Armin showed no signs of wanting to slow down, though a few times, Eren saw him stumble and catch himself, all the while holding his side.  He appeared to be tiring, but the fact that Eren was forcing him to exert this much energy when he was clearly injured was causing him grief.  He decided to try a different tactic to get him to stop.

               “Everyone’s looking for you!  They’re all worried about you!” Eren called.  “Mikasa!  And Annie!  And Conny!  And Jean!  And Reiner—”

               Armin stopped dead in his tracks, just as he was turning to round a corner.  Eren stopped too and stayed a safe distance back, hopeful to talk some sense into the boy without scaring him away once more.

               “He’s worried…?  Even after all this…?” Armin seemed be asking himself.

               Eren wasn’t sure which name Armin had responded to.  A “he.”  Reiner, maybe?  Eren briefly remembered Conny’s strange need to warn Reiner that Armin hadn’t been at school the other day.  Could he be—

               “I just have one thing left to do,” Armin said, raising his voice a little.

               He sounded hoarse, like he was fighting off a cold or something.  And the way he was gripping his side and grimacing was not a pretty picture of Eren’s angel.

               “Armin, please…  Please let me escort you home…” Eren begged.

               “I can’t go home.  Not yet,” Armin answered.

               “Then when?” Eren questioned, sounding pathetic and desperate.

               “After this one last thing,” Armin responded plainly.

               “Can I help you?  Can I wait here for you to finish?  Please, Armin…” Eren pleaded.

               “No.  Just…  I’ll take care of myself.  I’ll go right home afterwards.  Okay?” Armin replied, looking at the ground.

               Eren realized that Armin wasn’t going to budge, so against his better judgment, he started to nod.

               “Good.  And Eren, can you do me a favor?” Armin asked.

               Again, Eren nodded numbly.

               “Just tell him that I’ll be home tonight,” Armin requested quietly before turning and disappearing around the corner.

               Eren could do nothing but stare as the boy he loved jogged away, still injured and vulnerable.  He couldn’t bring his legs to move.  He couldn’t force any words out of his dry mouth.  He couldn’t understand what in the universe was happening and why Armin refused to let him help in any way.  He was still in a state of shock when Jean appeared and grabbed his arm.

               “What happened?” he asked, sounding out of breath presumably from sprinting across the park.

               “I…  I don’t know…  There was this creepy guy…  And I tried to interfere…  But then he pulled a knife on me…  And then Armin protected me…  But…  But he ran…” Eren mumbled, probably incoherently.

               “Where is Armin now?” Jean asked, sounding rather upset himself, probably at Eren for causing Armin to run again.

               Finally glancing away from the corner that Armin had disappeared around, Eren turned to look at him.  Jean looked just as shaken up as Eren felt.

               “Did you run into that bastard too?” Eren asked.

               “Wha?  Who?” Jean questioned, walking towards the corner that Eren had been staring at and turned to look down it, apparently to no avail since he immediately returned.

               “Armin’s alleged ‘boss,’” Eren clarified, though he wasn’t sure if he believed those words considering what he’d just witnessed.

               Jean laughed weakly before stating, “Who knew the devil would be out for a stroll today...”

               “Devil?  So you know that pervert?!?” Eren yelled angrily.

               “Pervert?” Jean questioned.  “What the Hell did you see, Eren?”

               Eren was about to respond with what he’d observed, but then he realized something.  It’s not like the man had really done anything that bad to Armin.  Eren had just jumped to conclusions.  Maybe, just maybe, that man had really been out to help him after all.  Maybe he’d just been trying to get Armin to look at him, the way Eren often had when they were kids.  Maybe he’d just been trying to get a straight answer out of Armin, something that Eren was well aware was a nearly-impossible task.

               “He… just…,” Eren started before realizing that maybe being honest with Jean might earn him some honesty in return.  “I just didn’t like the way he… touched his cheek… so casually.”

               Jean looked at Eren for a moment before dropping to his knees and doubling over with laughter.  Eren was speechless.  After a good straight minute of laughter and attempts at getting himself to calm down, Jean rose to his feet and headed back towards the park.

               “What the fuck was that about?!?” Eren demanded, grabbing his shoulder harshly and flipping him back around.

               “Nothing.  Nothing.  Don’t worry about it.  It’s just—” Jean was saying between chuckles, until he was facing Eren, suddenly turning pale and taking a step back.  “Where the fuck did you get that?”

               “Get wha—  Oh this?” Eren asked, holding up the still-bloody knife that Armin had thrown.  “Armin threw it, to get that creep away from me.”

               “ _Armin_ threw it?” Jean clarified, blinking in shock as he snatched the knife from Eren’s hand and examined it.

               “Thank God he did.  That shrimp had me pinned with some sort of knife of his own—”

               “Shrimp?  Wait a second.  Who are we talking about?” Jean stammered, looking truly confused for the first time.

               Secretly, Eren loved the fact that now Jean was the one demanding answers.  For a split second, he considered making him beg for them, as he had so many times this week, but this conversation seemed too important for messing around.

               “Armin’s boss.  I thought you knew him,” Eren questioned.

               “Are you trying to be funny?  Armin’s boss isn’t sho—  Oh shit,” Jean cursed, cutting himself off in favor of studying the handle of the blade, as a clueless Eren watched.

               The black leather on the handle looked well worn, but when Jean flipped it over, Eren could make out the faint remains of four golden, embossed initials:  LA followed closely by AA. 

               “I don’t understand.  Why do you think that guy is Armin’s boss?” Jean asked, taking one last look towards the corner Armin had disappeared around before heading back towards the car.

               “That pipsqueak told me so himself,” Eren answered, noticing Jean’s knuckles turning white as he tighten his grip on the knife.

               “Damn it, Armin,” Jean mumbled before storming across the grassy park, not bothering to follow the pathways.

               Jean looked furious.  Whether that anger was directed at himself, Armin, or the “boss,” Eren couldn’t really tell.  What he could tell, though, was that Jean was looking for that guy now, whipping his head from side to side and walking briskly.

               “Jean!” Eren called, jogging after him.  “What’s going on?  What aren’t you telling me?”

               “He really has been lying to me.  I knew it, and yet I refused to accept it.  Fuckin’ blond-haired, little bastard—”

               “Don’t talk about Armin like that!” Eren commanded, slapping a strong hand onto Jean’s shoulder and forcing him to stop.

               Eren could feel Jean start to tremble slightly as he began to explain his concerns.  Eren could also _hear_ the presence of the tears, though Jean refused to turn around to show them.

               “He told me he was done with that guy.  He _promised_ me he wasn’t going to be involved with him anymore.  And I believed him!  How the Hell am I supposed to keep _my_ promise if he can’t keep his?” Jean rambled shakily.

               “What promise?” Eren asked quietly.

               Jean was silent for a moment before finally admitting, “The one I made to his parents.  I promised…  I promised them that I would protect their little boy…  No matter what…”

               “Well, now you have some help.  It’s not like this is your fault, Jean.  I’m sure he’ll be okay,” Eren insisted, though his words lacked any sort of confidence.

               “But he got away!  Again!  And now I know that he’s probably just going back to that creep’s nest!” Jean yelled before taking off across the park, towards his car in the direction of the Survey Corps building.

               “Wait!  Jean!  I don’t think he will!” Eren called, running after his friend.

               “And why’s that?” Jean replied angrily, choosing to call over his shoulder instead of stop.

               “Because he told me so!” Eren clarified.

               Jean stopped dead in his tracks and spun around.  Eren could now see how red his eyes were from the tears.

               “What?”

               “Armin told me… he was heading home…” Eren said, choosing to look at the ground instead of Jean’s red, puffy eyes.

               He decided not to include the fact that Armin claimed he had one last thing to do first.  Jean looked far too worried, and if that one last thing had something to do with the man from before, it was probably best to keep that a secret for now.  In fact, Eren didn’t really want to entertain that suspicion either.

               “And you… believe him?” Jean asked solemnly.

               “He sounded pretty truthful about it,” Eren stated, but after seeing Jean’s doubt, lied, “In fact, he promised me so.”

               Eren wasn’t sure why he added this last bit.  It shouldn’t have made any difference, especially since Jean had just gotten through telling a story about how Armin’s own promise held no weight, apparently.  Despite this, Jean instantly looked less anxious.

               “He promised _you_?  Well, I guess we can relax.  At least, for now,” Jean breathed, before turning again to head towards the SUV.

               Eren had no idea why the fact that the promise was directed at himself had any merit to it, considering Armin had allegedly been cheating on him for over three years, but he chose not to think about it any further.

               “Also, I was supposed to pass that message on to someone,” Eren added, climbing into the passenger’s seat and glancing towards Jean, who Eren could have sworn was glaring at the Survey Corps building through his rearview mirror.

               “Who?” Jean asked, starting the car and focusing on the road.

               “I’m not sure.  A guy, for sure.  I started listing off everyone that was out looking for him, and he stopped me mid-list.  I’m not sure what name caught his interest, but I’m supposed to tell whoever-he-is that Armin will be going home tonight,” Eren explained, looking out the window, stupidly hoping to see the boy again.

               Jean chuckled and admitted, “I know who it is.  I’ll pass it on.  In fact, let’s tell everyone.  I’ll call Reiner and Bert.  Can you call the rest and let them know that everything’s okay?”

               Eren agreed and pulled out his phone.  As he dialed Mikasa’s number and listened to Jean greet Reiner, something occurred to him.  Why had Jean agreed to only call one team while Eren was expected to call three.  And why Reiner and Bertholdt instead of his best friend, Marco?  The only explanation was that those two needed to know first.  Or, at least, one of them.  Were Eren’s suspicions right?  Was Reiner really the one that had stolen Armin away from him?  All signs pointed to this conclusion, but it just wasn’t sitting well with Eren, for more reasons than just sheer jealousy.

               After Eren had informed the remaining three cars that the search was off, he turned back to Jean and asked, “Shouldn’t we tell Armin’s parents what’s been going on?  Surely they know that he’s been skipping school, at least, but what about—”

               “I’ll take care of that,” Jean answered bluntly.

               “Jean, I know you don’t want to disappoint them or let them think that you haven’t kept your promise, but—”

               “I said I’d take care of it, and I will.  I always tell them what’s going on with Armin.  Or, well, everything I know, at least,” Jean stated quietly.

               “Oh.  Well, if you’re sure,” Eren returned honestly.  “Thanks, Jean.”

               “For what, exactly?” he asked.

               “For looking after Armin while I was gone,” Eren answered genuinely.

               Jean didn’t really answer directly, but Eren was pretty sure that he saw the corners of Jean’s lips try to curl into a weak, half smile.  That was good enough, he figured, as he got out of the car at his apartment complex and headed straight inside.

               After putting together the frame for his bed but not even bothering to add sheets to the lonely mattress resting haphazardly on top, Eren crashed onto it and cast his eyes on the steadily-darkening ceiling.  He had no idea how long he stared at nothing in particular above his head, but it must have been hours because as he punched the “accept” button on his ringing cell phone, he notice that the time was 11:39.

               “Yeah?” he asked, realizing that he didn’t even bother to see who was calling.

               “Armin’s home,” came Jean’s voice.  “I just figured you’d want to know.”

               “Is he okay?” Eren asked numbly, somehow unable to feel any joy from hearing the good news that Armin had actually followed through on his words.

               “Hard to say,” Jean answered.

               After a moment of silence, Eren questioned, “Are his parents looking after him?”  
               “He’s in good hands,” Jean replied, sounding distracted.

               “I’m glad,” Eren stated and let out a quiet sigh that sounded more sad than relieved.

               “Eren?” Jean was asking, and Eren wondered if he’d tuned him out for a few seconds or something.

               “Hmm?”

               “I said, you should come to the game tomorrow.  And just sit on the bench,” Jean said, sounding a little irritated having to repeat himself.

               “I don’t think I’m really up for it,” Eren returned, feeling unbelievable tired.

               He wondered, for a brief moment, if it was because of his struggle with that man in the park.

               “Don’t worry.  I don’t want you to play.  I just want you there.  Just in case,” Jean admitted.

               “In case what?”

               Jean didn’t answer.

               “Fine.  I’ll come.  But don’t expect me to change my mind about joining,” Eren answered.

               “That’s fine.  Thanks, Eren,” Jean added before hanging up.

               Eren held his phone above him and looked at his background, a scanned photo taken of Armin at the beach four summers ago.  Setting it aside and closing his eyes, Eren made a mental note to take a new picture of Armin the next time he got a chance.  If he got a chance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll try to update faster this next time... But... I make no promises. Also, Eren would TOTALLY call Armin "Cupcake." Just saying. -Pei =)
> 
> P.S.- I've commissioned some amazing Eremin fanart recently, and I'm going to be incorporating stories based on them somewhere in here... =P


	8. The Fifth Day Back in Shiganshina (Part 1) and Memories of the Past (Part 5)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren finally confronts Armin at school. =)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for disappearing for so long. I graduated and started a, uh real person job? Yay? But that actually means that I should have more time to write. =)
> 
> Most of my attachment to this fic is disappearing, but I still really want to continue. It's a good exercise in finally finishing something that I've started. Maybe. Someday. Haha. =)

               “ _To celebrate our largest audience yet,_ ” Mrs. Arlelt announced, raising her wine glass and clinking against her husband’s.

               “ _Armin’s been a wonderful addition_ ,” he commented, glancing at his son who was sitting next to a slightly uncomfortable-looking Eren.

               Eren wasn’t uncomfortable because he was sitting next to Armin, of course, but because he was sitting in the fanciest restaurant in town and was wearing a brand-new, tailor-made suit that felt way too constricting.  I mean, what ten-year-old can stand wearing a suit and, worse, being bribed with a trip to Disneyland to not spill a single speck of marinara sauce on it.  Eren hated how calculated and planned his spaghetti-eating was that evening.  Hell, before glancing to the side and watching Armin gracefully twirl his pasta around his fork, Eren didn’t even have a clue that spaghetti wasn’t supposed to just be shoveled straight into his mouth.

               “ _Yes, but he still has a long way to go if we ever want—_ “ Armin’s grandfather was saying before they were interrupted by the presence of their waitress.

               “ _Sir, my boss was wondering if he could have a word with you about arranging a private show in the near future?_ ” she whispered quietly to Armin’s grandfather.

               “ _A private show?  Here?_ ” Armin’s mother questioned curiously, looking around.  “ _He’s aware that we’re known for our aerial acts, right?_ ”

               “ _Of course.  He’s been to many of your shows over the years.  He’s a big fan.  Even if you turn down the offer, he’d still love a word with the Amazing Arlelts,_ ” she finished, punctuating the sentence with a little bow.

               “ _Sounds exciting,_ ” Armin’s father commented.

               “ _Sounds fishy to me,”_ Armin’s grandfather corrected, not concerned in the least that the waitress was still present.

               “ _Well, I’m at least going to hear the man out.  You know very well that we’re in need of extra opportunities right now._ ”

               Eren had paused briefly in the scarfing of his delicious spaghetti when he noticed a brief look of confusion and concern flick across Armin’s face after hearing his father’s words, but it was gone a moment later, before Eren could open his mouth and ask if something was wrong.

               “ _Irrelevant.  I refuse to talk business to a man who so clearly exploits his power and fortune—”_

               Armin’s mother cut in, saying, “ _Dad!  We’re here as his guests.  How can you accuse—”_

               Suddenly, Armin’s grandfather stood up, slammed his hands down on the table, uttered something angrily in German, and stormed out of the building.  Meanwhile, Armin’s father, who answered just as angrily, got up and followed the now-nervous waitress towards the back of the restaurant.  Armin silently put his fork down and looked at his mother.

               “ _Armin, it’s fine.  You can keep eating.  You too, Eren,_ ” she murmured before learning towards Eren and adding, “ _Keep an eye on my little boy, okay, Eren?_ ”

               Eren had nodded, feeling quite valiant, despite his cheeks being stuffed with meatballs at the time.  Despite probably looking foolish, he’d accepted his mission with steely determination and saluted Armin’s mother as she’d scurried off after her father.  Looking back at his friend, Eren was troubled that Armin hadn’t gone back to eating his lonely meatballs.

               “ _You aren’t going to eat your meatballs?  They’re the best part,_ ” Eren had questioned, nudging Armin a bit.

               “ _Probably not.  I’m pretty full.  Would you like them?_ ” he asked in return.

               Despite the nice gesture, something seemed very wrong.  Armin seemed distracted and upset.

               “ _Surely you have room for some desert then!  Didn’t you see that amazing chocolate cake go by a few minutes ago?_ ” Eren exclaimed, already drooling at the thought of it.

               “ _I think I’m good, but you should definitely order the cake and tell me how it is,_ ” Armin answered dully.

               Everything he was saying seemed natural enough, but his voice sounded so far away and lifeless.

               “ _Arm…  What’s up?_ ” Eren finally asked, but they had been interrupted before he could hear the answer.

               “ _Good evening, boys,_ ” came a calm voice from behind them.

               Eren had turned around to see a sharply-dressed man looking down at them with a slight smile.  He was tall and had his long blond hair pulled into a bun behind his head.

               “ _And you are?_ ” Eren asked defensively, immediately distrustful of this man and very aware of his mission to “protect” Armin in his parents’ absence.

               “ _My name is Eld Jinn, young master,_ ” he replied coolly, resting a hand on the back of Armin’s chair.

               Eren scoffed at the little nickname, assuming it was meant as an insult to his manliness.

               “ _And what do you want, Eld?_ ” Eren spat back.

               “ _Eren, please,_ ” Armin scolded, gently reaching for and squeezing Eren’s hand despite the harsh tone of his voice.  “ _Were you needing something from my parents, Mr. Jinn?  I’m afraid they’ve stepped out for a few minutes.  They should return shortly._ ”

               “ _Actually, Mr. Arlelt, I was hoping I could borrow you for a few moments,_ ” Eld corrected with a smile.

               “ _How ‘bout no?_ ” Eren answered.  “ _You can talk to Armin right here._ ”

               Laughing, Eld commented, “ _You must be Eren Jaeger.  Am I right?  The stories about your feisty attitude don’t truly do you justice._ ”

               Eren was about to retort, but he heard Armin’s stifled giggles next to him.  He seemed a little more cheerful now.  Maybe he was just distracted.  And maybe this Eld guy wasn’t so bad after all.

               “ _Well, I’m glad I already have a reputation.  I guess,_ ” Eren replied.  “ _So…  What were you wanting?_ ”

               “ _My boss was wanting to speak to your good friend,_ ” Eld replied, nodding towards Armin.

               _“Might I ask why?_ ” Armin asked curiously.

               “ _He’s a huge fan,_ ” Eld responded casually.

               “ _The CEO of Wall Maria and the Survey Corps is a fan of a traveling family circus?_ ” Armin asked a tad skeptically.

               “ _Oh yes.  He’s been a fan for years now,_ ” Eld continued, leaning in to whisper to the boys, as if what he was saying was some scandalous secret.  “ _Though between you and me, I think your acts are his favorite, Mr. Arlelt.  Mine too.  There’s just something fantastic about watching children perform such amazing, death-defying feats._ ”

               Eren was having a really hard time reading this guy.  He seemed harmless enough, and he was complimenting Armin, so he couldn’t be too bad.  Still, Eren inherently didn’t trust something about this situation.  Maybe it wasn’t Eld himself that Eren didn’t trust.  Maybe it was this place.  Or maybe the stupid little suit he was wearing was messing with his judgment as much as it was messing with his mobility.

               Blushing slightly from the praise, Armin responded, “ _Thank you for the compliment, though everything you see me do is all thanks to my parents.  They taught me everything I know._ ”

               “ _Well, in their absence, would you mind speaking with my boss for just a minute?_ ” Eld asked, before leaning in once more to add, “ _I think he wants you to autograph last night’s program in exchange for a slice of our Triple-Layered Wall of Chocolate Cake.  What do you say?_ ”

               Before Eren could protest, Armin was standing up and preparing to follow Eld.  Before he got a chance to move too far away though, Eren snagged his hand and whispered in his ear.

               “ _Where are you going?  Let me at least come with you,_ ” Eren begged, though he knew that he’d lose the trip to Disneyland if he got up, completely abandoned the table, and made a scene in this award-winning restaurant.

               Armin just smiled and answered sweetly, “ _I’m going to get you that cake you wanted._ ”

               Eren was certain that his face was cherry red as Armin winked and followed Eld across the busy dining room.  Putting his hands to his burning cheeks, Eren was finally able to put a label on how he felt about his young friend.  He hated to admit it to himself, and he was certain he’d never admit it out loud, but Eren was sure that he had a crush on little Armin Arlelt.  Coming to that abrupt realization just then, as he was walking away with a stranger, just after Eren had promised his mother to keep an eye on him, certainly didn’t make Eren’s tummy very excited for that chocolatey treat.

               That being said, Eren knew that this was a well-respected place with a well-respected owner in a well-respected part of town.  It was also clear that the people here thought highly of the Arlelts.  Surely Armin would be fine.  He’d be back in a minute or two.  And if he wasn’t, Eren would go find him.  Immediately.

               In a sad attempt to distract himself, Eren tried to savor the meatballs that Armin had offered him a little earlier.  They were gone within a minute though, leaving Eren fidgeting as he looked around for some sign of Armin or his family.  Trying once again to calm his nerves, he reached for the basket of fresh breadsticks in the center of the table.  Another minute later, all six of them were gone, and there was still no sign of the blond-haired, blue-eyed family he’d come into the restaurant with.

               With no food left to distract him, Eren’s mind began to wander, coming up with horrific scenarios for what was happening to his crush, err, best friend.  He came to the completely rational conclusion that this scenario was an elaborate setup; maybe even this whole restaurant, reputation and all, was completely fake, nothing more than a façade to kidnap Armin and force him into some rival circus.  Eren was convinced that all of the other guests and servers were in on it too and were probably laughing at him for letting his friend get captured.  And Armin’s family:  they must be in on it too.  How else can you explain all three of his family members abandoning the table essentially at the same time and conveniently just before Eld stopped by with his request?  They’d been there for over an hour.  Why was it all happening now?  Had they really known about the scheduled kidnapping?  Or worse!  They’d actually sold Armin and had just left to collect the payment.

               However, Eren was sure that there was an even more despicable part to this elaborate plot.  He thought back to that delicious cake that had walked right by him a little while ago, at perfect eye-level for him to see and get his mouth watering.  And Eld had known about the cake and offered it to Armin as a prize for his cooperation.  But now Eren knew the truth.  Eren knew full well that wherever Armin had been taken, there was no cake. 

               Clearly, the cake was a lie.

               That had been the last straw as Eren rose to his feet, grabbed a steak knife, and whipped around, heading in the direction Armin had been led.  Before he knew it, he was at a gold-plated door at the back of the restaurant.  Taking a deep breath and tightening his grip on the knife, he mentally steeled himself for what he was sure lay beyond this door in this horrible place where everyone was against him.  Sure, he was grossly outnumbered.  And probably severely outgunned.  But none of that mattered.  His shear will to get Armin back safe and sound was enough to bring him through this trial successfully.  He would rescue his friend.  And together, they would enjoy some delicious chocolate victory cake.  Elsewhere.

               Or not.

               Eren’s rage subsided immediately as Armin emerged from that golden door, gripping a small brown box tightly with both hands.  His eyes widened at the sight of Eren.  Seeing him just outside that door, with a knife no-less, must have scared the poor kid because he looked absolutely terrified.

               “ _What are you… doing?_ ” Armin asked so quietly that Eren hardly understood what he’d said.

               “ _Coming to rescue you?_ ” Eren answered stupidly, saying it more like a question than the confident vow that he’d been feeling just moments ago.

               Armin swallowed hard and tried to regain his composure after the scare.  He opened his mouth to speak but promptly closed it.  Instead, he handed the box to Eren.

               “ _What’s this?_ ” Eren asked curiously, trying to hide the knife from Armin, hoping not to scare him any further.

               “ _For you,_ ” Armin answered quietly, walking briskly across the dining room.

               Eren followed obediently but was surprised when Armin didn’t stop at their table.

               “ _Aren’t we going to wait here for your parents?_ ” Eren asked, trying to inconspicuously drop off the knife next to his empty plate.

               Armin just shook his head, continuing to make his way towards the exit.  Just outside the restaurant, Eren caught his arm and spun the boy around.  Eren searched his face but he couldn’t understand his true emotions under that fake smile he’d put on.

               “ _What happened?_ ” Eren growled more than asked, certain that he’d been at least half right about this whole sketchy establishment.

               Armin just blinked and responded cheerfully, “ _You should eat it.  There’s a fork inside._ ”

               It was Eren’s turn to blink stupidly, confused as to what Armin was referring to, until he nodded towards the box in his hands.  Eren lifted the lid to find a piece of that lip-smacking cake inside.

               “ _No.  No.  I mean…  Why were you in such a rush to get out of there?  Did something happen?_ ” Eren clarified.

               Eren noticed that Armin’s little collar was flipped up, probably from having scurried out of the restaurant so fast.  He reached up to fix it, but Armin flinched and backed away.  Eren was sure he felt a crack form in his heart.  Armin must have done it completely subconsciously because he immediately apologized.

               After a split second of feeling hurt, Eren put on a brave front and asked, with a laugh, “ _For what?  Getting me this beauty?!?  I mean, yeah, I’m probably gonna have a heart attack thanks to all of this chocolate, but it’ll be so worth it._ ”

               Armin smiled at Eren and relaxed, prompting Eren to continue.

               “ _Alright.  I’ll eat this heart attack-inducing piece of cake on one condition_ ,” Eren stated.

               Armin looked a tad worried as he asked, “ _And that would be?_ ”

               “ _You’ve gotta share it with me_ ,” Eren stated firmly, grinning triumphantly when he saw Armin smile back at him.

               “ _Deal_ ,” Armin stated before looking back at the restaurant.

               After a few moments of silence, Eren was about to break it by asking if they should look for Armin’s family, but the words caught in his throat when Armin suddenly laced his little fingers with Eren’s own.  Eren used his free hand to clench the cake box, suddenly nervous like he’d never been before, concerned about whether his palms were sweaty or if he had sauce on his face.

               “ _Let’s go wait by the car for my parents to come back_ ,” Armin suggested quietly.

               He still sounded a little off.  For a moment, Eren entertained the idea that maybe Armin was nervous about holding hands too, but that seemed silly considering they’d done it plenty of times.  For some reason, it just felt different this time.

 

               Eren stumbled into the main school building much earlier than he had been expecting, considering he’d hardly slept the night before.  As he began to tug at the key wrapped around his neck, all he could think about was how happy he was that it was Friday and that this hellish week was almost over.  Eren still had no idea what was happening with Armin, but he intended to change that this weekend.  He was going to do some investigating, and he had a bad feeling that this investigating would inevitably lead him back downtown where he’d found Armin yesterday.

               Feeling an extreme lack of energy and motivation, Eren was sure he was dragging his feet obnoxiously loudly as he headed down the empty hallway towards the table in the courtyard where he was certain half of his early-rising friends had already started gathering together.  However, he soon heard a sound that made him stop dead in his tracks.  Not just any sound; a voice.  Armin’s voice.  Quietly following that sweet sound of his voice, Eren was led to his English classroom.  He didn’t need to look inside to verify that his boyfriend was there, talking to their teacher.

               “—needing an extension on your research paper?” their teacher was asking.

               “Not at all.  It’s already finished, if you’d like it early,” Armin answered.

               Eren was happy to hear that Armin hadn’t been putting off assignments, at least.  He was the same Armin, after all.  There was no way he could do poorly in school.

               “That won’t be necessary.  I just wanted to make sure.  You’ve been missing a lot of class,” their teacher added.

               Eren nodded, hoping that this teacher would be able to get through to Armin like his friends apparently hadn’t.

               “I’m sorry,” Armin replied, though the tone of his voice suggested otherwise.

               “It’s fine.  I mean, you wrote this test.  You taking it was just a formality.  I don’t care whether you sit in class or not, but the state government does.  You know that,” his teacher stated.

               Eren didn’t understand what he had just heard.  First of all, it sounded like their teacher couldn’t care less that one of his students was skipping class nearly every day.  And furthermore, had Armin really created that fucking hard exam that Eren had taken yesterday.  He’d have to give him Hell for it when he got a chance.  But more importantly, why had he written it?  Last time Eren checked, that was the teacher’s job, not his boyfriend’s.

               “I’m aware.  Are you suggesting that we change the terms of our agreement?” Armin asked coolly.

               The phrasing of that sentence, the emphasis on the word “agreement,” sent a shiver down Eren’s spine.  What was going on, and why was everyone so willing to go along with it?

               “Of course not.  I’m just warning you that if certain people find out about this, we’ll _both_ be in big trouble.  The reason I bring it up is because some of the school’s administrative officials will be coming by sometime next week, and it’d probably be best if our school’s brightest student was actually attending class that day,” their teacher explained, sounding rather bored.

               “When?” Armin inquired.

               “I don’t know.  You know we can never get a straight answer out of those people.”

               Armin sighed and said, “I’ll try to be here more next week.  Thanks for the warning.”

               Eren heard the footsteps coming his way, and he should have been able to put the pieces together fast enough to bail before Armin saw him, but he didn’t.  He was frozen in place, and that paralysis became ten times worse when Armin stepped out of the classroom and shot Eren a strange glance before continuing the opposite way down the hallway at a fast pace.  The look took the air out of Eren’s lungs.  It was full of emotion, though it was also evident that Armin was trying his hardest to suppress those emotions under a fake mask of neutrality.  But in that split second where Eren’s gaze finally met Armin’s at such close proximity, he was sure that he saw fear, hurt, and anger swirling in those beautiful, blue eyes. 

               The look had sent a knife through Eren’s heart and glued his feet to the ground and his hands to his sides despite the fact that Armin had been so close that he could have reached out and touched him.  Finally.  But he’d missed his chance.  And now all he could do was stand there and watch the boy swiftly glide away.

               No.

               Eren wasn’t going to let him get away again.

               So after a few seconds of hesitation, Eren sprinted down the hallway after Armin, and before the other boy had a chance to properly respond to the charge, Eren had him pinned against a wall, holding him there by one of his shoulders and his opposite wrist.  Instantly, Armin winced in pain, and Eren immediately regretted how forcibly he’d just done this, though he knew that none of his other tactics had worked up to this point.  Maybe this force was the only option. 

               “Armin!  Why have you been avoiding me?!?  Why have you been avoiding everyone?!?” Eren demanded.

               Armin didn’t answer.  He just leaned his head back and screwed his eyes shut as if he were in immense pain, though Eren still couldn’t understand why.  He checked his grip on the boy’s shoulder:  it looked loose enough that if he wanted to get away, he probably could.  He checked his grip on Armin’s wrist and quickly realized this was the source of his discomfort.

               “Arm…  What…  What is this?” Eren asked, releasing Armin’s shoulder in favor of using that hand to push up Armin’s other sleeve, revealing crisscrossing scars, some fresh and others faded, from his wrist and on up his arm.

               Armin laughed quietly and answered, “Not what you think, actually.”

               Before Eren had a chance to answer or question him further, they were interrupted.

               “What the fuck do you think you’re doing, Jaeger?” Jean asked, storming up to the two boys.

               Glancing from Armin to Jean and back to Armin, it didn’t take Eren long to figure out that the situation didn’t look very good from a third-party perspective.  He probably looked like he was bullying or even abusing his boyfriend.  Interestingly, Eren nearly opened his mouth to say “Not what you think.” exactly like Armin just had.  Coincidence?

               Instead, Eren decided to get Jean involved by pulling on and holding out Armin’s wrist for Jean to see, asking, “Did you know about this?”

               Jean glanced at Armin’s face for a moment before answering, “Well, it looks worse than normal.”

               “So you knew?  And you just let him continue to hurt himself?  What happened to keeping him safe, Jean?!?” Eren yelled, full of probably unwarranted anger.

               “You can’t blame Jean for my life, Eren,” Armin said, gently pulling his wrist away and sliding his sleeve back down.

               Eren thought back to the other recent times he had seen Armin in person as well as all the times he’d seen him in video chats.  Now that he thought about it, the boy was always covered up, leading Eren to wonder how long this masochistic habit had been going on.

               Turning around to look at him now, Eren noticed something else concerning:  Armin was wearing a scarf, wrapped snuggly around his neck, despite how warm the school building was.  Maybe Eren was just jumping to irrational conclusions, but he had the kid now, and he was in the mood to demand more answers.  So, Eren did a foolish thing and pushed Armin back against the wall beside them, pinning him with one forearm and using his free hand to pull away the protective scarf.  Jean was yelling something at him and trying to pull the two boys apart, but Eren was too focused on the bruises and bandages on his boyfriend’s neck to give a care.

               “Armin…  I don’t… understand…  What have you done to yourself…?” Eren asked, trying to blink back the rising tears.

               “I’m fine, Eren,” Armin dismissed casually, though his expression still showed an overwhelming amount of pain.

               “Let him go,” Jean commented, now watching from a safe distance, probably unsure of how to get involved without starting a fistfight with Eren and spooking Armin in the process.

               “No!  I want answers!” Eren yelled at Jean before turning back to Armin, lowering his voice and adding, “Arm, I’m here for you.”

               Armin closed his eyes again and stayed silent.  His silence was deafening to Eren.

               “Please, Cupcake…  I love you…  That’s why I’m here…  I came back for you…  I’m here for you now…” Eren insisted quietly, reaching up to stroke Armin’s pale cheek.

               Eren noticed Armin swallow hard, as if he wanted to say something but couldn’t bring himself to speak.  Eren decided he should just keep assuring him that it was okay.  Maybe that would break this unbearable silence, shatter the wall that had been built between them.

               “Eren, stop,” Jean warned, still close but no longer looking at the two boys.

               Ignoring Jean, Eren continued, “I’ve always been here for you, Armin…”

               “No…” Armin whispered, finally ending the silence, though he’d spoken so quietly that Eren nearly missed what he’d said.

               “But…  I…  I wanted to be…  You know that…” Eren assured.

               “I know,” Armin replied shortly, attempting to pull away from the wall.

               However, Eren wouldn’t let him move.  He had him now, and he wasn’t about to let go.

               “I love you, Armin.  I came back for you,” Eren repeated, feeling the tears start to fall.

               “I understand that,” he answered, clenching his teeth and trying to break free.

               Armin felt strong as he struggled to break free, but Eren’s determination to keep him there was too much for him to overcome.

               “I want to be with you.  Please.  Armin, I love you,” Eren said again, pushing the boy back harder, trying to force him to repeat the endearing words himself.

               “I heard you,” were the only words Armin felt like saying.

               Armin was really struggling now, but his motions seemed more desperate, each of them seeming to cause him more and more pain.  Eren didn’t understand why he was so determined to get away.

               “Eren, please stop.  You’re hurting him,” Jean whispered quietly. 

               “Yeah, well, our past negligence has hurt him more!  Look at him!” Eren yelled at Jean before returning his attention to Armin.  “Look at you…  I don’t understand how else I can get you to let me help you.  Without force.  Nothing has been working.  I just—”

               “I don’t need your help.  I don’t want your help.  I want you to leave,” Armin commanded, punctuating his words with a furious twist of his body, ripping out of Eren’s grip.

               Eren was stunned by his words and his strength, and he prepared to watch Armin run away.  But he didn’t.  He tried, before falling to his knees in defeat.  Before Eren could kneel down and offer help, Jean was shoving him backwards, throwing Eren so off balance that he fell to the ground.

               Shaking off the hard impact, he noticed that the three boys now had a crowd around them.  Sasha and Conny were nearby, looking at Armin with confusion and worry in their eyes.  Annie and Reiner were glaring daggers into Eren, making him wonder how much they had seen and heard.  Mikasa was pulling Jean away from Armin as Christa tended to the blood soaking into Armin’s shirt.  Had that last effort to escape aggravated Armin’s injuries from yesterday?

               Suddenly, Eren was being dragged away from the scene by strong hands, and he was too shaken to properly fight back.  Looking over his shoulder, he saw that Ymir and Bertholdt were the ones yanking him away. 

               After a few seconds of being dragged down the hall, Eren spoke to them, saying, “You can stop pulling me.  I’ll come with you.”

               Bertholdt and Ymir exchanged a quick look and released their grips on their prisoner.  Eren followed them in silence as they continued outside and to the group’s favorite table.  They sat, no one daring to speak.  Eren didn’t even dare to look at them, afraid of the disapproval that he would see on their faces.

               “What happened?” Bertholdt finally questioned.

               He didn’t talk that much, but Eren appreciated it when he did.  He normally only opened his mouth to say logical or helpful things.

               “I didn’t mean… to hurt him…” was all Eren could say at first.

               “Yeah fuckin’ right!  You’re just like—”

               Bertholdt silenced Ymir by cutting in, “I know.  You would never do him any physical harm.”

               Hesitantly grateful to have someone who believed him and truly understood where he was coming from, Eren looked up, seeing concern on Bertholdt’s face.  At least it wasn’t anger.

               “You believe me?  Weren’t you one of the first ones that brought up that incorrect fact that Armin and I had broken up?” Eren asked skeptically.

               “It’s not hard to see that you meant everything you said, Eren.  You never broke up with him.  And you never intend to,” Bertholdt explained.

               Eren appreciated the rational discussion that seemed to be happening for once.  Maybe this was finally his chance to prod for answers.

               “Bertholdt,” Eren began, almost unsure of what to ask with everything that had been happening.  “Why is he so hurt?  Do you know?”

               Eren decided to start with the obvious problem at the moment.  Maybe there would be fewer secrets tied to it.  However, Bertholdt looked down and seemed to be thinking very hard about whether or not he should answer.

               “If he wants to date someone else, whatever.  I can pretend to deal with that.  But I can’t turn a blind eye to the pain that he’s in,” Eren continued, pleading really.

               Bertholdt sighed before casting a look at Ymir.  She still seemed angry, for some reason.  Eren wasn’t sure if that anger was directed at him or not.  A few moments later, though, she got up and walked back inside, leaving Bertholdt and Eren alone at the table.

               “You really have no idea what’s going on?” Bertholdt asked, sounding incredibly serious.

               Eren shook his head and admitted, “No.  And that fact is killing me.  And no one seems willing to break the silence and tell me what’s up.”

               Bertholdt looked around, ensuring that they were alone, before saying, “You can blame the near-gag order that’s been placed on this school.”

               “Gag order?” Eren repeated.

               “Something like that,” Bertholdt confirmed.

               “Who forced you all to keep silent?” Eren asked, finally feeling like he might be getting somewhere.

               Bertholdt hesitated for a moment before admitting, “Armin.”

               “Armin?” Eren asked, confused.

               Bertholdt nodded.

               “So he asked you all to keep quiet about what?  Everything related to him?” Eren tried to clarify.

               “Essentially, yes.  Especially…” Bertholdt started but trailed off, his face overcome with concern.

               “Especially?” Eren pried.

               He knew he was asking a lot.  He should be grateful that Bertholdt had told him anything, but he had to take advantage of the fact that someone was finally willing to give him some answers.

               “Especially you,” he finally continued.

               “Me?  What do you mean?”

               “Armin asked everyone, in various ways, to keep quiet about what he was up to.  That’s why no one knows the full story about what’s been going on.  But the biggest request he made, and one that we felt the most obligated to uphold, was not to discuss him and his problems with you, Eren,” Bertholdt finally divulged.

               Eren felt blindsided, blindsided by his boyfriend and his alleged friends.  Why had everyone joined some freakish conspiracy against him?  Was it some fun game for them?  How dare they keep all this from him?

               Eren was about to let Bertholdt have it, but he could tell by the look on the other boy’s face that this wasn’t where his rage should be directed.

               “I’m… discouraged to hear that,” Eren stated, choosing to calm himself by twisting his ring while continuing to dig for answers.  “Do you know why?”

               “No,” Bertholdt answered, “but I can guess.”

               Eren raised an eyebrow.

               “Isn’t it obvious?  Why else does anyone keep information secret from the people they care about?” Bertholdt hinted.

               “Beats me.  You know I’m incapable of keeping anything to myself,” Eren admitted with a weak smile.

               Bertholdt smiled back and explained, “Well, for the rest of us, it’s normally to protect those we love.  We’re guarding them from things that might hurt them or worry them.  Don’t you think that’s probably what Armin is doing?”

               “That doesn’t make any sense!” Eren protested.  “If he would have just confided in me, I could have helped!  I’m sure that… I could have done something…”

               “I don’t doubt that, Eren, but for some reason, Armin wants to face his troubles alone.”

               “And you’re asking me to respect that?” Eren asked, the anger bubbling back up.

               “No.  I’m not.  In fact, I think I’d be disappointed in you if you did,” Bertholdt admitted, dropping his gaze again.

               Eren looked up, confused but mildly happy by what he’d heard.

               “If that’s the case, then why didn’t any of you act?  Why didn’t you secretly let me know?  Or do something on your own?  At least tell the poor boy to stop cutting himself.  I mean, how did he even convince you all to keep quiet?” Eren questioned, honestly wanting to hear the answer to this final question over any of the previous.

               Bertholdt closed his eyes, saying, “I don’t feel like I should answer that last one right now.  As for why none of us intervened, I honestly can’t give you a good answer.  We were cowards, I guess.  Content with our lives, perhaps.  Since Armin is rarely here, I guess you could say that the whole situation is usually ‘out of sight and out of mind.’”

               Eren was about to retort, to unleash his fury, but he could tell by the regretful eyes that Bertholdt continued to direct downward that he truly wished he’d done more.  Maybe Eren could work with that.

               “I understand, Bert,” Eren assured.

               Bertholdt finally looked up and met Eren’s eyes, probably surprised that Eren wasn’t chewing him out right then.

               “So what are you going to do?” he asked, almost sounding willing to help.

               “It’s Friday, isn’t it?” Eren asked, releasing his rage in favor of a hopeful smile, clutching the little key around his neck with new-found resolve.

               “Yeah?” Bertholdt replied, seeming unsure of where Eren was going with his plan.

               “Then we better get ready to suit up for tonight,” Eren stated confidently.

               Bertholdt grinned, realizing that Eren was aware of Armin’s usual Friday-night plans.  Surely they could come up with something by tonight.  But first, Eren had to make sure Armin was okay.  It had looked pretty bad when Eren was dragged away, but he was also very aware that Armin was incredibly tough.  And very stubborn. 

               Eren hoped that all of the madness of this week wouldn’t change Armin’s resolve to always cheer on Shiganshina High under those Friday night lights.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! As always, kudos, comments, and shares are always appreciated. =)


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